Chapter 5: The Truth About Chuka

“When e start?”

My voice crack small, but I no fit hold am, I ask Ifeoma.

I need know truth, even if e go pain me. Man no suppose dey guess for this kind matter.

She freeze.

Her hand pause mid-air, as if she dey remember old gist wey she no wan talk.

“How you take know?”

Her voice just jump out. E shock her sef, then she try hide am, clear throat.

She regret as she talk am, then change mouth.

You see am? Na so guilty mind dey behave.

“Who tell you?”

She dey find escape, but her eyes dey beg me make I no push the matter.

See am? If person dey guilty, you no need press dem, dem go talk am by themself.

I see as her body dey shake. If na my mama house, by now my auntie for don enter the matter, say, "Ifeoma, say the truth o!"

She no like the two answers, so she just quiet, dey try arrange her words.

I fit feel her struggle from where I dey stand. My chest dey tight, but I dey wait.

“No be wetin you dey think, Kunle. Calm down.”

She try to smile, but e no fit reach her eye.

“I dey calm.”

I bite my tongue small. I no wan shout, but my heart dey pound.

“If you dey calm, you no go dey break up with me.”

She dey try use sense hold my hand, but I no gree. I dey look her, dey wait.

Ifeoma frown, small blame dey her voice.

She dey use that her stubborn side—na that same stubbornness make me fall for her first.

As I no talk, she sigh, then try calm the matter: “Okay, I admit, before I meet you, I bin date Chuka. But that one don pass.”

She try form strong woman, but her voice still dey shake. Chuka…

Chuka…

So na that guy Ifeoma dey follow.

I dey remember the gist wey my guy Emeka talk me last year—say if woman dey hide something, na small sign you go dey see. Now e make sense.

Everything just clear now.

I dey see her face. I dey remember the way she dey knit that scarf every cold season. All those things wey I dey think say na for me, e get another meaning now.

Every early harmattan, Ifeoma go dey knit scarf, go sew big letter ‘C’ for the end. This year no different.

Me I go dey look am like mumu, dey hope say na for me. My mind dey do me one kain.

First time I see am, I think say na for the ‘Kunle’ wey dey my name. I happy for inside, dey pretend like say I no notice, dey look forward to collect that special gift.

I think say na for Christmas gift or maybe she dey spell my name with style. But for Naija, every small sign dey mean something.

E pain me say I dey deceive myself all this while. Love dey blind, true true.

But as harmattan turn rainy season, year dey pass, I no ever see am reach my hand.

I dey wait, I dey hope. She go just smile, hide am for wardrobe. I no know say na another person get that place for her heart.

Today, as I hear the name Chuka, I come understand. The ‘C’ no even concern me—na for ‘Chuka’ e dey.

E be like say stone just land for my chest. Everything just clear.

“As I dey find my charger for her bag, na so I jam the small white packet. My hand freeze, my mind begin race.”

“E don pass? Then how you go explain the abortion pills wey dey your bag?” I ask am.

I try hold my voice, but e loud small. The thing pain me.

Ifeoma just blank. She open mouth, but nothing come out.

She dey try form bold, but her eye dey tell another story. Shame and fear just dey mix for her face.

Her lips tight. “No be wetin you dey think between me and Chuka… That night na class reunion, everybody drink, people dey push us, Chuka come carry me go house…”

She dey rush her words, like say if she talk am quick, e go pain me less. But lie dey short leg.

“So? Last last, e still carry you reach bed, abi?”

I no fit hide the bitterness for my voice. The wound fresh.

Ifeoma face just pale, she no fit talk again.

She look ground. Na so e dey pain her too, but she still no wan accept am clean.

“You try, Ifeoma. If I no talk am now, you for just hide am forever?”

I dey shake my head. I dey try find the babe wey I know inside this one wey sit down for my front.

“Na mistake, just happen once. I no wan talk am make e spoil our relationship…”

Her voice small, she dey find way out. She no dey look my face. I dey feel sorry for her, but the pain still dey hot for my chest.

She still dey find excuse.

She dey twist the matter, but truth dey stubborn.