Chapter 3: Halima’s Thunder

Before I fit talk, Halima—wey broke pass everybody for class—don dey @ me like say tomorrow no dey.

Halima get mouth. She no dey fear anybody. For every group palava, she dey front line. As she dey call my name for group, my chest dey beat like talking drum.

She gather people dey shout make I return class fund:

[@Ifedike, how you go use class fund take pay transport? You no fit pay yourself?]

[Why you go use everybody money take pay ₦5,000 transport?]

[I dey wonder why class fund short. Na you carry am go.]

Abeg, Ifedike, you wan use us do mugu for this class?

Her messages dey come like rain for rainy season. People dey join her bandwagon—everybody get one thing to talk.

Na Halima first talk make dem share class fund. After Timi and study committee reason am, dem agree calculate how much everybody go get.

She no even dey do like say she want settle—na justice she dey chase. And for her mind, she dey do am for all of us.

No wonder she vex reach that level.

Even though I taya, I stand up from bed, begin check the class fund spreadsheet well.

Sleep disappear for my eyes. I dey scroll up and down, dey look for clue, dey ask God for sign. "Abeg, no let dem disgrace me for this group o!"

I ask my roommate, Morayo, with worry for my voice:

"Morayo, your boyfriend no go make mistake for class fund records? I never use class money travel before. Why Timi go put my name as number one? Now everybody dey say I thief ₦5,000. Abeg, help me explain."

Morayo just yawn, lazy:

She just hiss, roll for bed, and pull wrapper over head. "I no fit shout this night, abeg."

As Morayo close her curtain, I just dey look her back, my own mind dey boil. Person wey dey always defend Timi, now no get words.

But sleep no even near my eyes.

Wahala na im full my mind. Even my small rechargeable lamp dey blink like say e dey pity me. I dey type, delete, type again.

Everybody dey expect refund today, now see as e be. If I no talk, group people go finish me.

I dey imagine say dem go use my matter do gist for other groups. If I no clear my name, na permanent stain be that.

So I quickly post for group:

[I swear, I no know about this. I never collect any money from class fund.]

I add am with small prayer hand emoji, make dem know say my heart dey clean.

Of course, nobody believe me. As dem see spreadsheet, na me dem go think chop the ₦5,000.

For Naija, once your name enter list, everybody dey look you with side eye, no matter how you explain.

Halima no let me rest:

[We no gree make you use class fund travel. Return am.]

[You just dey see class fund as your pocket money.]

[You carry ₦5,000 go travel—na we be waka pass for your film?]

[Return the money!]

She dey drop her lines like MC for rally. Other people dey hype her with laughing emoji, some dey add "facts" and "no lies detected" under her messages.

Frustrated, I begin disturb Timi with messages:

[Timi, you must don make mistake!]

[Timi, talk something now!]

Even as my fingers dey pain me, I no stop. I dey para, I dey sweat for midnight. I dey even dey call Timi but e no pick.