Chapter 2: Coming Home Broken

Since I land from abroad, e be like my head no dey correct again.

Sometimes e be like half my brain dey float for air. I fit waka enter room forget wetin carry me come. Other times, people dey talk but their words dey far, like rain for zinc roof.

Most times, na sleep dey hungry me.

Sometimes, sleep catch me sotey even neighbor generator noise no fit wake me. My body heavy, as if something tie me down.

I think say I dey sick.

My mama try calm me.

“You don dey lazy since you small, never get discipline like your sister.”

She pinch my cheek playfully, her face soft small. "You, Kamsi, na you fit sleep for Africa! Even nursery school teacher dey call me, 'Madam, your pikin dey sleep again o.'"

“It’s okay, everybody get their own. If sleep dey catch you, abeg sleep.”

I pour big cup of black coffee, hope say e go help me stay awake.

E no work at all.

The bitter taste just park for my tongue, face twist. I sip again, but eyelids heavy like sandbag.

I knock my forehead, vexed, as the front gate sound.

Metal creak, old Baba Leke, security man, mumble say "guests don come." My heart jump one beat.

Steward announce:

“Small Madam don bring Mr. Obinna come house.”

He talk am with the kind joy person dey use announce governor arrival. For this house, Obinna name fit open any door.

My papa face bright with joy.

He rush out go welcome dem.

No even wear slippers, agbada dey flap as he hurry reach door. "Ah! My son, you are welcome!" echo for corridor.

My mama wan follow, but remember something, look me, worry show for her face.

“Kamsi, you…”

Her eyes dey run between me and corridor, as if she dey expect wahala from my side.

I nod quick.

“I know, Mr. Obinna no like me.”

I try smile make she rest. My fingers dey twist my sleeve.

“Sister marriage important. I go just go sleep, body dey tire me.”

Mama see my big yawn, finally relax.

She pat my back, whisper, "Good girl. Make trouble no find you today."

I waka small before I remember say I forget my coffee cup.

Later, I try drink another cup.

As I turn, I jam cold, sharp eyes.

Obinna stand for entrance, eyes pin me. World freeze for small second. Cup nearly fall from my hand.

Almost without thinking—

I forget coffee, run.

Like Nollywood film, ghost dey chase me. My feet barely touch ground as I climb stairs.

I no stop till I reach room, lock door.

I even push table block am.

Only then my heart, wey dey beat like talking drum, calm small.

I no fit explain, but anytime I see Obinna, one strong feeling dey rise—

Na fear.

My mama talk say na because Obinna dey above people, anybody near am go feel small.

She call am "strong head." She say, "Those Nwachukwus? Na kings dem be everywhere."

“Not to talk of you, wey no get strong mind.”

She always sigh, "Chisom carry all the better genes, Kamsi. You just dey here dey look."

Mama warn me make I no show for Mr. Obinna front.

“Mr. Obinna no like girls wey fine but dull.”

Her voice sharp. "Men like am need substance, not empty calabash. You think na face dey hold that kain man?"

“His eye dey for better girls like your sister.”

I hear am sotey e dey echo for my dream. Sometimes, I dream say my sister dey waka ahead, Obinna by her side, me dey follow for back like afterthought.

“Do you know the kind family the Nwachukwus be? If we fit marry enter, e go save us generations of wahala.”

She compare am to lottery. "Kamsi, people dey pray for this kain chance. No spoil am for all of us."

“Kamsi, you must wise up.”

I wise, true true.

So anytime Obinna enter house, I vanish.

My mama like am, sometimes pat my head.

Na my biggest reward, I dey cherish am.

Sometimes I wait for that tap all day. Na only then I feel say I do something correct.

But I no fit tell mama—

Even if she no warn me, I go still dodge Obinna on my own.

His presence too much.

I dey uneasy.

Suffocated.

As if person dey squeeze my heart.

And the pain dey bitter.

Downstairs, house full of laughter.

Inside that laughter, I sleep.