Chapter 9: The Truth in the Shadows
10
Only then did I slowly lift my tear-soaked lashes, staring wide-eyed at him, letting him see the pain in my eyes.
I wanted him to see my hurt, my need. Maybe then he’d believe me.
“Lucas.”
My voice was low and hoarse.
It barely sounded like me, but I didn’t care. He needed to hear every broken piece.
“I thought... you didn’t want me anymore. Do you know how I got through these days? Every night I think of you, miss you so much I cry and can’t sleep.”
The words tumbled out, raw and messy. I clung to his jacket, afraid he’d pull away.
“Then why did you block my number?” Lucas frowned, but his voice softened.
He was still mad, but I could see cracks in his armor. I took a shaky breath, determined not to lose my chance.
“You broke up with me and blocked me on Instagram. I thought... you were tired of me. Didn’t want me bothering you. I was really sad, Lucas. But I thought, I can’t make you hate me more, so I drew a line myself...”
I squeezed his hand, my voice trembling. For a second, he looked like he might cry too.
Lucas laughed in exasperation. “Do you really like me?”
I nodded, biting my lip to keep from sobbing again.
“Mm.”
“How much? I can’t see it.”
He sounded almost jealous, needing me to prove it.
“A lot, a lot... so much I don’t know how to live without you.”
My voice was barely a whisper, but the truth rang louder than any shout.
“Why do you like me?”
He looked down, almost shy. I’d never seen him so lost.
“I secretly liked you from the first time I saw you. Later, when I was helping my mom at the truck and ran into some jerks, you happened by and helped me.”
I remembered the day perfectly—the hot asphalt, the smell of burnt coffee, Lucas stepping between me and those guys. He’d been a hero then, not just a heartthrob.
I looked at him, my tearful eyes shining. He was clearly moved. I’d practiced that look in the mirror a hundred times, hoping one day he’d notice.
“You’re my first man. Lucas.”
I gently held his hand, timid but bold, and pressed it to my chest. “For life... I’ve chosen you. Don’t leave me, okay?”
The words hung, raw and vulnerable. I watched his face, searching for doubt or regret.
His eyes were full of burning, surging love. For someone like him, even that was rare.
“Natalie, I haven’t left you. I’ve missed you these days we haven’t seen each other.”
His voice was rough, unsteady. For the first time, I thought maybe he meant it—maybe he needed me as much as I needed him.
I knew the so-called missing wasn’t true. It was just desire. But to me, it was all the same. Every sleepless night, I was thinking of him too—falling asleep in a heartbeat after, better than any pill.
Maybe that’s why I let myself fall, knowing how hard the landing would be.