Chapter 2: Tension for Bridal Suite

"Wishing the newlyweds quick blessing with pikin o!"

"Amin!" one old mama shout from back, like say na prayer warrior. Laughter scatter everywhere, even my shy uncle try dance small Azonto.

"Yusuf, abeg take am easy tonight! Everybody know say you don dey single for over twenty years—your energy fit break bed, haha!"

All the elders dey show teeth, dey hail me like king. I try smile, but my belle just dey do gbigba.

On Morenike’s wedding night, relatives and friends push me enter the bridal suite.

Dem clap and sing, spray small change, even pikin dey peep inside. Na real Naija party!

"See, one night with your wife better pass one thousand bags of rice! Make una hurry, we go leave una alone!"

My guy, Tolu, give me wicked wink, ready to close door, when one big leg block the entrance.

Room no big. Everybody pause. For Naija, bridal chamber na sacred zone, but see as this one waka enter anyhow.

"Wait first, wetin dey rush you? The night still long—oya, shift!"

Kunle, Morenike’s childhood friend, push Tolu hand comot, waka enter with swagger like say na him pay bride price. My mind dey reason: who give this one mind?

"Guy, e don reach nine o’clock, the new couple don tire. Abeg, make we no do this prank today."

Tolu try drag am, but Kunle just bone face.

Kunle face strong like Lagos agbero. The tension for room thick pass ogbono soup.

"Why you dey form holy? I resemble person wey dey do wedding prank?"

Tolu face harden.

My guy no like wahala, but if Kunle push am, fight fit burst. I lock eye with Tolu, shake head small.

I quickly signal am, then I try greet Kunle myself.

I force smile, try form matured, "Make e no spoil for here."

"Brother Kunle, you never drink reach?"

I talk am playfully, but the shade dey clear. Elders dey look, Morenike dey frown.

Kunle, wey smell of burukutu and orijin, clap me for shoulder.

The clap loud, but I just gree.

"I don drink well well."

"Yusuf, congrats o—you marry our old school fine girl."

"But…"

Kunle raise one finger, eyes red.

"But no forget, Morenike na my best friend. Even though you be her husband now, for ranking… hic~"

The hiccup loud reach window. Small children outside laugh scatter.

Morenike rush come.

"Kunle, you don overdo am. Why una dey stand dey look? Carry am go rest!"

She talk serious. Her eyes show shame and annoyance. Her friends dey shift leg.

Some of Morenike’s friends wan help, but Kunle just shake their hand off.

"Leave me, I never drunk!"

"Morenike…"

He lean on top Morenike shoulder, drag her go bed. As he land, na so he wrap hand around her waist like say na him get am.

Room tension boil. Elders dey clear throat, some dey look away. Me sef just dey count to ten for head.

Tolu be like say e wan rush am. I hold am back, face Kunle, "Oga, remove your hand."

My voice deep, my face hard. For Yoruba house, person no suppose disrespect like that for new couple front.

My head dey hot, but I just dey try hold myself. With all the people wey gather, I no wan disgrace myself.

Dem fit call am family shame if wahala burst.