Chapter 5: The Couch Pin and First Kiss

This—this—is a direct confession, right?!!

I stared at him, mouth open. Could this really be happening?

I was stunned.

The world faded away, leaving only the two of us. I struggled to find words, but none came.

Did Derek know what he was saying?

I wanted to pinch myself, make sure I wasn’t dreaming. It felt too good to be true.

I couldn’t take it anymore, exhaled sharply, feeling like his mixed signals were driving me crazy.

My heart pounded, hope and fear battling for control. I needed answers—now.

I decided to get to the bottom of it—even if it killed me, I wanted to know, not just imagine. So I asked Derek directly.

I sat up straight, bracing myself for whatever came next. My palms sweated, my voice shook.

Having made up my mind, I sat up straight and asked, “Derek, don’t you like people like yourself?”

I meant it as a joke, but the words hung between us, heavy with meaning.

Derek was obviously stunned by my question, staring at me for a long time.

He blinked, processing, as if I’d spoken in a foreign language.

At the time, I didn’t realize the danger, just thought Derek had another side—dazed and cute.

He looked adorable, all flustered and lost. I fought the urge to hug him right then.

But the next second, he pounced, pressing me onto the couch, and I realized he was no cute puppy, but a fierce large dog.

He moved fast, eyes blazing. I sucked in a breath and, in my head, said yes—I’m in—and put my hand deliberately on his shoulder.

“Natalie, did you feed everything I just said to the dogs? How did you get that idea!”

His voice was rough, frustration pouring out. I laughed nervously, suddenly aware of how close we were.

Right now, his face was less than four inches from mine. As he spoke, his hot breath washed over me, letting me feel his intense emotions.

Mint on his breath, the rasp of his stubble, the warmth of his palm at my hip—every detail ruined me.

If I couldn’t see Derek’s meaning now, all those years reading romance novels were wasted.

I thought of every book I’d ever read, every slow-burn love story. None compared to this.

But just to stir things up, I said, “Anyone with eyes could see.”

I grinned, challenging him to make the next move. His eyes darkened, a storm brewing just beneath the surface.

Derek was really mad, his breathing even more ragged: “I like women! Women! Like you!”

His jaw tensed, voice dropping an octave as the words exploded out of him.

“So,” I swallowed nervously, “I’m a woman, so do you...”

My voice trembled, hope and fear mingling. I waited, breathless.

Before I could finish, Derek gave me an answer that ended all my doubts.

He bent down and kissed me hard on the lips.

The world exploded in color. His lips were warm, soft, insistent. I melted into him, forgetting every fear, every doubt.

Ahhhhhh!

My mind screamed with joy. I wanted to laugh, cry, shout to the heavens.

I’m dying!

I clung to him, desperate to make the moment last.

Don’t stop!

We kissed until the world faded away, leaving only the two of us. I finally understood every love song, every cheesy line.

That day, not only did I kiss Derek, I also heard another version of our story from him.

He pulled back, smiling, eyes shining with a warmth I’d never seen before. I leaned against his chest, ready to listen.

Only then did I learn we’d been secretly in love with each other!

He confessed, detailing the moments he’d fallen for me, the years he’d spent hiding his feelings. I laughed, tears streaming down my face.

I fell for him at first sight, but he fell for me over time.

He told me how my smile had brightened his darkest days, how every little gesture made him love me more.

“Isn’t that unfair,” I teased, “People say falling for someone over time is just weighing pros and cons.”

I poked his chest, grinning. He rolled his eyes, clearly unimpressed.

Derek shot me a look, “Then what about falling for someone at first sight?”

He raised an eyebrow, challenging me to argue. I shook my head, admitting defeat.

Fine, I couldn’t argue with that.

I laughed, hugging him tight. If love was unfair, I didn’t care anymore.

I first met Derek when Caleb started college—I went to drop him off, and Derek arrived at the dorm right after us.

The campus buzzed with energy, freshmen hauling boxes, parents giving last-minute advice. Derek stood out in the crowd, calm and collected.

The moment I saw the young man, I was so stunned I forgot about my silly brother, spent the whole time sneaking glances at the handsome guy, didn’t help at all, and even criticized Caleb’s messy bed.

I blushed, remembering how obvious I’d been. Caleb had groaned, complaining about my lack of support.

Caleb was annoyed, asked Derek, “Have you ever seen a sister like this?”

He sounded half-amused, half-exasperated. Derek just smiled, refusing to take sides.

His question made me realize I’d acted like a fool, but since the first impression was ruined, I decided to go all out, glaring at Derek to warn him to think carefully before answering.

I narrowed my eyes, daring him to say something clever. Derek just grinned, unfazed.

But Derek wasn’t intimidated, and answered honestly: “Never seen one.”

He shrugged, voice gentle. Caleb cheered, turning my embarrassment into a family joke.

Caleb was delighted, “Hear that, Natalie? No one has a sister like you. Maybe you should call me brother from now on.”

He puffed out his chest, pretending to be the superior sibling. I just rolled my eyes, unwilling to let him win.

I raised an eyebrow, “If you had the guts to come out of mom’s belly first.”

I smirked, delivering my comeback with style. Derek laughed, the tension broken.

Derek watched us banter, silent and uninvolved.

He stood in the background, observing, taking everything in. I wondered what he really thought of our family chaos.

After a while, Caleb felt guilty, “Are we bothering you?”

He looked at Derek, worried he’d crossed a line. Derek just shook his head, reassuring us both.

“No,” Derek shook his head, with a maturity beyond his years, “Just never seen anything like this.”

He sounded wistful, as if seeing a new world for the first time.

Later I learned Derek was an only child, quiet, with busy parents—his family rarely even chatted. He said he saw a different kind of family interaction in us, and didn’t mind it.

He described growing up in a silent house, dinners eaten in near silence. Our chaos felt like home to him, even if he didn’t say it out loud.

I thought, this guy’s a bit pitiful, so Caleb and I should include him and show him some warmth.

We started inviting him everywhere—movies, game nights, road trips. Derek blended in, becoming part of our family.

So our duo became a trio.

The three of us were inseparable, always up to something. I couldn’t imagine life without him.

“That time was the most chaotic but happiest I’ve ever had,” Derek smiled, “I’ve never seen someone as lively and likable as you. You’re like a little sun, making people want to chase after you.”

He reached for my hand, squeezing gently. I felt tears prick my eyes, grateful for his honesty.

He was clearly expressing his feelings, but it didn’t match my memories.

I smiled, wondering how I could’ve missed all the signs.

“So you liked me, but why did you suddenly get cold toward me?”

I asked, needing to know why things changed.

“Natalie, do you really not know why?”

He looked at me, eyes searching. I shrugged, feeling foolish.

“At least give me a hint,” I said, half aggrieved, half acting cute.

I pouted, hoping he’d forgive me for being clueless.

“It was that summer—you slept with me, then left without a word.”

He said it quietly, but the words echoed in my mind. He meant literally: you fell asleep in my bed.

What do you mean I slept with him!

I gasped, mind racing. Had I missed something huge?

I swear, before today, I’d never kissed anyone, let alone held hands, and now he’s saying I slept with him!

I felt my face flush, denial rising. I demanded answers.

I couldn’t accept such a huge injustice.

I glared at Derek, ready to demand an explanation, when a few vague memories flashed through my mind.

Bits and pieces of that summer came back—late nights, tired walks, switching rooms. I struggled to put it all together.

Wait... if you put it that way, I do remember something.

My cheeks burned as the pieces fell into place. Maybe I hadn’t been as innocent as I thought.

It was the summer after sophomore year. My parents went back to their hometown in Ohio, and I was unemployed at home. Caleb said he was worried about our upcoming life.

August humidity pressed against the windows, cicadas screamed at dusk, and the box fan hummed in the hallway while we lived off popsicles and takeout.

So he called Derek, inviting him to stay with us.

Caleb insisted we needed a "responsible adult," as if we were helpless children. Derek arrived, suitcase in hand, looking bemused but amused.

Derek initially refused, but after both of us begged, he finally came.

He lasted a week before giving in, claiming he couldn’t resist our puppy-dog eyes. I was secretly thrilled.

Turns out, Derek was great at keeping peace between us siblings.

He mediated our arguments, cooked meals, even helped me sort out my resume. The summer felt less lonely with him around.

But before the semester started, something happened.

It was the kind of moment you remember years later, wondering if things could’ve gone differently.

“You said your friend had a birthday and you’d party all night, not coming home. Caleb didn’t like you going out alone, so he dragged me out drinking. I didn’t drink, but he got drunk. After we got home, I didn’t want to sleep on the couch because he reeked of alcohol, so he gave me his room and went to sleep in yours.”

Derek’s voice was calm, but I could hear the sadness underneath. I remembered that night vaguely—music, laughter, exhaustion.

Derek recounted slowly, clearly determined to help me remember every detail.

He walked me through it, step by step, as if afraid I’d miss something important.

“But late at night, you suddenly came home. You must’ve seen Caleb in your room, so you came to his room. I woke up to the sound, and saw you lying next to me. For a while, I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or if you were really there.

You fell asleep almost immediately, sleeping deeply. I moved away a bit, afraid my pounding heart would wake you. Reason told me I should wake you, or leave quietly.

But I didn’t. I selfishly thought, now you wouldn’t treat me like another Caleb, wouldn’t see me as just a brother. But the next morning, you were gone. I tried to ask Caleb where you went, but he was clueless. When you came back, you acted like nothing happened.”

He looked at me, searching for understanding. His hand had hovered an inch over my shoulder that night—wanting to touch, afraid to wake me.

“So... you thought I was rejecting you?”

I asked, guilt flooding my chest. Had I hurt him without even knowing?

“Mm.” Derek nodded slowly, as if even now he could remember how much it hurt.

His voice broke, and I reached for his hand, squeezing tight.

“Derek,” I hugged him, “I was just exhausted that night, didn’t realize you were there. Caleb and I sometimes switch rooms, so I just went to his room without turning on the light, and crashed.

The next morning, I did see you, but nothing had happened, and I had an appointment to rush out, so I didn’t greet you. When I came back, you didn’t act any differently, and Caleb didn’t even know I’d come home, so I pretended nothing happened...”

I tried to explain, and added a quick, sincere apology—I should’ve turned on the light and, later, at least acknowledged it.

“So what about now?” Derek looked at me, “Natalie, what do you think now?”

He held my gaze, waiting for my answer. I took a deep breath, letting go of the past.

When Caleb couldn’t find a place, I bugged him ten times a day, but when he finally found a suitable apartment, I didn’t move.

I teased him, pretending to be indecisive. Caleb groaned, but secretly loved having me around.

Caleb was happy but complained: “So you were just messing with me?”

He flopped onto the couch, dramatic as ever. I grinned, unwilling to let him win.

I blinked innocently: “Mom and dad kicked me out, and now you want me gone too?”

I pouted, hoping for sympathy. Caleb rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed.

Caleb gave me a helpless look, rolled over, and buried himself in his phone.

He muttered something about "family loyalty," refusing to let me see his smile.

After a while, he stood up, stretched, and headed for the door.

He grumbled about hunger, as if expecting me to follow.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

He paused, looking back over his shoulder.

“Hungry, going to get Derek to cook something,” Caleb said.

He sounded hopeful, eager for another gourmet meal.

“I’m coming too, wait for me while I change.”

I jumped up, rushing to my room to pick out something nice. Dressing for Derek felt different now—exciting, nerve-wracking.

We used to always hang out together, and though things were a bit distant with Derek lately, our bond remained, so I wasn’t afraid Caleb would notice anything.

I reassured myself, knowing our trio had always been strong.

Sure enough, he didn’t care, just nodded, “Okay.”

He waved me off, already halfway out the door.

But he had no idea he’d end up waiting 30 minutes.

I lost track of time, agonizing over outfits. Caleb texted twice, complaining about my "fashion show."

It wasn’t intentional, but a woman dresses for those she likes. Before, I didn’t care how I dressed to see Derek, but now it’s different—I had to look good.

I put on my favorite blouse, added a touch of lipstick, and smiled at my reflection. For the first time in ages, I wanted Derek to notice me.

“What are you doing?” Caleb stared at me in disbelief after I got all dressed up.

He raised an eyebrow, clearly suspicious. I feigned innocence, hoping he’d drop it.

I pretended to be calm: “What’s wrong with me?”

I brushed a stray hair behind my ear, acting nonchalant. Caleb grunted, unwilling to argue.

Caleb looked at me for a long time, but didn’t press further.

He knew better than to push. I smiled, grateful for his silent support.

Once outside, he suddenly said he needed to buy beer, telling me to go ahead.

He dashed into the convenience store, waving for me to continue on. I hurried to Derek’s door, heart pounding.

Watching Caleb enter the elevator, I went to knock on Derek’s door.

I paused, rehearsing my greeting, hoping I wouldn’t embarrass myself.

Although we’d cleared things up the other day, and knew how each other felt, being together should’ve been natural.

But happiness felt too sudden, and I’d always thought Derek and Caleb were a couple—who knew it would be me and Derek. I worried Caleb wouldn’t be able to accept it.

I paced outside the door, nerves jangling. Would things ever feel normal again?

So I told Derek I needed to think it over.

I explained my worries, hoping he’d understand. Derek nodded, patient as ever.

Today was the fourth day of thinking.

I counted down the days, waiting for my heart to catch up with my head.

Derek hadn’t rushed me, but every time I saw him, I could feel his impatience in his burning gaze.

He watched me with longing, eyes dark and intense. I felt both thrilled and guilty.

Seeing him like that, I felt both sorry and amused—how did he hold back all those years?

I marveled at his patience, wondering if I could ever be that strong.

“Natalie.”

Derek opened the door and, seeing me, managed to look calm, but his nervous, stuttering voice betrayed him.

His hands trembled, voice shaky. I smiled, reassured by his vulnerability.

How could he be so cute!

I grinned, resisting the urge to tease him. The urge to kiss him grew stronger with every passing second.

Cute enough to make me want to hug and kiss him right away.

My heart thudded, cheeks hot. I leaned in, ready to confess.

Before I knew it, I’d said my thoughts out loud.

Derek’s Adam’s apple bobbed, “Want to kiss me?”

He looked at me, eyes hopeful, voice rough. I nodded, unwilling to play games anymore.

At this point, being shy was out of character for me, so I looked straight at him and nodded boldly: “Mm, so will you let me?”

I met his gaze, daring him to say no.

Derek smiled, charmingly, but seriously refused: “But I can’t let anyone but my girlfriend kiss me.”

He raised an eyebrow, challenging me to make the next move. I accepted, determined not to let him win.

I suspected he was tempting me!

His lips curled into a smirk, as if he was playing chess and waiting for my next move.

And I had proof!

I grinned, determined to get my way.

“I don’t care,” I refused to be seduced so easily, so I insisted, “I just want to kiss you.”

I crossed my arms, pretending to be stubborn. Derek laughed, giving in.

After a few seconds, Derek gave in.

He leaned down, offering his cheek, surrendering completely.

He bent down, offered his face, letting me do as I pleased.

I smiled, savoring the moment.

But I changed my mind, didn’t kiss him. Instead, I traced my finger slowly from his forehead down his nose, finally stopping at his beautiful lips.

I let my finger linger, teasing him. He shivered, anticipation in his eyes.

“Derek,” I lowered my voice, deliberately seductive, “Beg me, okay?”

I whispered, voice low and playful. Derek’s eyes widened, surprise and excitement mingling.

Derek’s Adam’s apple bobbed, voice hoarse: “Natalie, I beg you.”

He whispered, voice raw, desperation in his eyes.

“Alright, then I like you too.”

I grinned, sealing our fate. The words hung in the air, magic and real.

After saying that, I intended to give Derek a light kiss, just to seal the deal.

I leaned in, heart pounding, lips trembling. The world held its breath.

But Derek clearly wasn’t satisfied, taking the lead and deepening the kiss.

He pulled me closer, lips warm and hungry. He tasted faintly of coffee, and his hand at my waist was all heat and certainty.

But we didn’t kiss for long—at least I felt it wasn’t enough—when the elevator door suddenly opened, and Caleb walked out with a look that said ‘I knew you two had something going on.’

He spotted us, smirked, and crossed his arms. I blushed, pulling away from Derek.

“Confess now—how long has this been going on?”

Caleb’s tone was playful, but his eyes were serious. I stammered, searching for words.

Caleb crossed his arms, looking at us. Before waiting for an answer, he started analyzing.

He launched into a detailed breakdown, pointing out every clue—my sudden cheerfulness, my outfit, even my makeup. I squirmed, embarrassed but amused.

“At first, I didn’t think the person making Natalie sigh was you, but after you came to talk to her, she suddenly ‘recovered,’ lively every day. Today was even more obvious—she never dresses up at home, always going for ‘natural beauty,’ but just to visit you, she even put on makeup! Do you really think I’m that easy to fool?”

He shook his head, pride and annoyance mingling. Derek just smiled, letting him finish.

Faced with his interrogation, I felt guilty and embarrassed, hiding behind Derek and saying nothing.

I peeked out from behind Derek’s shoulder, hoping Caleb would go easy on us.

Luckily, Derek was calm, once again confessing directly: “Caleb, I’ve liked Natalie for a long time.”

His voice was steady, honest. Caleb stared, processing, then nodded slowly.

After he spoke, I didn’t hear Caleb respond for a while, and thought he didn’t approve, so I prepared to use every trick—acting cute, throwing tantrums—until he agreed.

I pouted, ready to unleash my best puppy-dog eyes. Caleb finally spoke, his words surprising me.

But before I could speak, Caleb said simply, “I can temporarily allow you two to try dating, but before you get married, nothing inappropriate.”

He wagged his finger, adopting his best big brother voice. I rolled my eyes and saluted. “Yes, sir.”

Even now, his first thought was to protect me.

I hugged him tight, grateful for his love. Derek smiled, eyes shining with happiness.

Looking at Caleb, I felt my nose sting—he really is more like a big brother than me.

Caleb’s protectiveness was legendary. I squeezed his hand, promising to make him proud.

Caleb couldn’t stand me crying, so he deliberately grumbled, “What’s this, I agreed, why make me look like I’m breaking you up.”

He ruffled my hair, pretending to be annoyed. I wiped my tears, smiling.

“Caleb.” I hugged him, touched.

I whispered thanks, holding on a little longer than usual.

“Oh come on,” Caleb exaggerated, proud and provocative, “Now you realize I’m good? Of course, we came from the same womb, that’s not something outsiders can match.”

He grinned, flexing his imaginary muscles. Derek laughed, shaking his head.

He was so smug, I almost wanted to hit him, so I glanced at Derek, worried he’d be upset.

I shot Derek a look, silently asking if he was okay. He just smiled, reassuring me.

But Derek smiled generously.

He pulled me close, eyes shining. I knew, deep down, that everything would be okay.

Later I learned, behind that generosity, he was thinking—coming from the same womb is nothing, soon we’ll be sleeping in the same bed.

He whispered in my ear later, making me laugh. Love was chaos, but it was our chaos.

Sigh, being liked by two men at once really is troublesome.

I laughed, shaking my head. Family, friends, lovers—sometimes the lines blurred, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.