Chapter 1: Roasted Dreams and Deadly Sand

June 2023: Twenty-three people tried to cross the Kudu Banza sands. The result? Four of them ended up roasted like kilishi wey forget for fire.

E shock everybody for town. As gist begin spread for mai shayi joint and inside compound, you go just hear people hiss and say, “Na wah o! Na so people dey waka go find wahala.” In fact, some elders talk say, “Dem think say Kudu Banza na Bar Beach?” Even small children dey fear pass that side for afternoon, dey run hold their mama wrapper.

When the investigation report came out, everybody just dey look, mouth open.

People gather for newspaper stand, dey shake head, dey murmur. Even those wey no sabi book, just dey stretch neck to hear wetin the report talk. Some women tap chest, “Ewo, four people just waste like that!”

For the whole expedition, na only the cook fit call himself professional.

Na real truth be that o. The man sabi him onions well; jollof rice and goat meat, e no dey miss. If you see as him arrange provisions, you go know say him don serve big man before.

But for the rest? E be like say all the wahala for this world just gather for one place: dem no plan fuel well, the guide dey shake anytime the motor enter wahala, the mechanic pour wrong fuel come spoil fuel line, dem no modify the vehicles, and all those city SUVs just dey sink for sand up and down…

Omo, na real comedy of errors! People just dey wonder who send dem message. You go think say dem dey shoot Nollywood movie for desert, the way wahala just dey queue for their convoy. Some dey shout, “Chai! This na pure Akpos behaviour.”