Chapter 2: Crossing the Threshold

To talk true, as I bring Tanira reach my door, my mind dey shake small.

The whole way from taxi to gate, my leg heavy like log. My hand dey sweat, even though breeze dey blow. I pause for front of the door, wipe my forehead, mutter, 'God abeg.' I stop, ear dey sharp—dey listen if Morayo dey inside. Na so life be—when you wan do big man, your chest fit still jam like eba when water finish—you no fit move. Street dey quiet, only generator hum for background.

Morayo, my wife, she dey gentle normally, but I dey fear say she fit lose control, carry kitchen knife chase me.

I flash back to one day wey she vex for market woman wey cheat her—she no gree drop matter, dem nearly scatter ground. If na ordinary market she fit do like that, wetin remain for house?

That year after school, inside that small one-room face-me-I-face-you, I promise her say I go give her better life, say I no go ever betray her till I die.

I remember as I dey squeeze her hand that night, candle dey burn low, rain dey beat zinc. I tell her, 'Morayo, no matter how e be, I go carry you go better place.' She smile, say, 'I believe you.'

Even after my first business crash, chop all our money, na she dey feed me for that our rented flat. Every day, I dey tell her the same thing.

Sometimes na only yam and red oil we fit chop, but she no complain. She even dey hustle small, dey fry akara for junction, make I no shame. Every night, na she go comfort me, say, 'Tomorrow go better.'

But now, I don carry Tanira—the girl wey I dey keep outside—come house. I even ready to pursue my wife commot from master bedroom, force her to sign divorce.

My heart dey pump anyhow, but I dey tell myself say man must do wetin man suppose do. I glance Tanira face, she dey squeeze my hand, her own finger cold like garri water.

Who sabi wetin she go do?

Anything fit happen—shout, cry, fight, or even faint. I brace myself for all.

But as I remember say pikin dey Tanira belle, my mind strong small.

I dey tell myself say, 'Seyi, remember say you dey do this for your name. For family. For papa and mama.' I no fit run back now, not after all the talking and planning.

My papa and mama don dey pray for grandson for ten years, me sef dey wait since.

Every festival, my papa dey call me, ask, 'Seyi, how far?' My mama dey kneel by bed every Friday, dey beg God for pikin. All my junior ones don born, their children dey run everywhere for family compound. I dey feel like outsider.

Now, the dream dey come true.

I dey almost taste am. As I dey touch Tanira belle, I dey imagine the cry of pikin for house. The smell of powder, baby cloth, all those small joys.

But Morayo just refuse to leave—her stubbornness dey make me vex.

Sometimes I dey reason am, say, 'This woman dey use jazz?' Her spirit just dey stand like rock. Instead of to beg or cry, she dey look me with that stubborn eye.

As I dey think am, I hold Tanira hand tight, ready to open door.

Tanira hand cold, but my own dey shake join. I breathe deep, try make my voice sound strong.

But Tanira even get more sense pass as I think. She pull my sleeve, whisper:

"Brother Seyi, no be too wicked like this for Aunty Morayo? Maybe make we no..."

Her voice dey low, e dey shake small. She dey look me with pity, like say she dey beg for person wey get wound. I no expect am from am—after all, na she suppose dey fear Morayo pass.

"No worry, even if you and Aunty Morayo no divorce, I go still born your pikin..."

Her face serious, she dey squeeze my hand like say she dey beg me to calm down. I feel am, she get heart wey soft. E touch me small.

"I dey with you because I love you, I no want anything else..."

She look my eye, her own dey watery. She dey talk true, I know. Her innocence dey show. For her own mind, na love carry her come.

Her words calm me small, like chilled malt for hot afternoon. My mind soft, I fit even smile for small time.

I turn, pat her head.

Her hair soft, I feel small comfort as I rub her scalp, like say I dey talk to my own younger sister.

"Silly girl, abeg, no talk like that."

I try smile, make her mind rest. I wan make she know say I dey her side.

"I know say you no send status, but how about the pikin?"

I dey reason am—wetin go be the fate of pikin if we hide am? Society go still talk.

"Make our pikin come this world make dem dey call am bastard?"

I dey speak from my heart. For person wey get name for town, na big shame if pikin no get home. I dey try show her say, this thing pass just two of us.