Chapter 2: Old Guard, New Wahala

I don dey work with Ifedike Chukwuma for more than ten years.

E no easy. We start for one small office wey rain dey leak, with generator wey dey off and on. Our first December, na moi-moi and zobo we chop for end-of-year party. But we believe say e go better. E shock me say this same man fit carry my matter like this.

We start as small team, just five or six of us; now, the company don grow reach over three hundred workers.

Those early days, na sweat and hustle build the foundation. Sometimes, we dey work till midnight, use torchlight dey check invoice. I fit remember names of everybody for that first team—dem be like family.

I start from ground level, hustle reach marketing director.

Nothing come easy. From messenger wey dey run errands for Lagos traffic, to marketing executive wey dey sleep for client gate, I climb reach director by pure gra-gra and street sense. My mother still dey tell people for Umuahia say, 'My pikin na director for Lagos.'

Then Ifedike pikin—young Mr. Somtochukwu—come back from abroad, ready to collect baton.

Na so dem dey talk. 'He don come with oyibo sense.' Everybody dey whisper, say change dey come. People begin arrange demself, dey try learn British accent over night. All of us know say na new regime.

Suddenly, old hands like me come dey like pepper for him eye.

Anytime Somtochukwu waka enter boardroom, you go see as him dey eye us like say we be weevils inside garri. You no go blame am—young blood dey always want clear road.

Young Mr. Somtochukwu no waste time. He carry one retired EFCC investigator—one old system man—make am compliance director. Dem talk say na audit, but even before the man do anything, finance director and procurement director don already run.

The gist for office be say, 'Once you see Mallam Michael, start to dey pack your load.' The man sabi everybody file, no dey laugh. For lunch, him dey chop kilishi and stare everybody down. Fear catch many people, dem begin dey update CV.

That old investigator sharp well. Everybody secret waka show: if you no fit comot with your dignity, company go help you. Best case, you return the money wey you chop, collect small compensation; worst case, na Kirikiri straight.

Na so wahala start. Before you say 'Jack', senior men begin dey vanish. Some dey send prayer request for church, others dey arrange abroad ticket. Nobody wan jam Kirikiri for Lagos heat.

Young Mr. Somtochukwu quick install him own people for the main decision team.

Na so all these abroad returnees, wey never sabi Oshodi bus stop, begin dey collect appointment. New HR, new compliance, even company lawyer change. The air for office choke with tension.

As I see how e dey operate, everywhere for company come dey tense.

Even security guards dey whisper. Cleaner dey hide dey gist. Old friends no dey greet for corridor again. The corridor dey smell like beans wey burn, and everybody dey whisper like say dem dey for burial ground. Everybody dey suspect everybody.

I go meet Ifedike Chukwuma, beg am make e talk to him pikin—if not, everywhere go scatter. After all, which senior manager no get small wahala for body?

I humble myself, enter oga office with cap for hand, even buy malt for secretary. 'Oga, abeg, talk to your pikin, make e no run us down.' Na so I open up. No be say I perfect, but e get level na.

Ifedike tell me, “My brother, people like us don old for this new Naija. Better make we leave am for the young ones.”

The man just dey look window like say him dey see rain for dry season. E pain me, but wetin I go do? E be like say him don tire for wahala.

I understand sharp sharp. Old Chairman Ifedike no need talk plenty: young Mr. Somtochukwu wan run things, old people like me na obstacle.

That day, my mind settle—this one na survival. No be about loyalty again. I begin dey think of plan B, because Naija no dey pity anybody.

We sabi ourselves. No need long talk. I know say my name dey the purge list too.

If you dey for corporate Nigeria, you go know when e don red for you. Body language go change, meeting invite go reduce. Na so I collect sense.

Instead make I wait make dem push me out, I decide to run my own package:

“No wahala, Chairman Ifedike. I don work here fifteen years. Run me sixteen months’ salary as compensation—na about 600,000. Those stock options wey you give me since, worth 300,000. Everything na 900,000.”

Na so I bring out my file, read all the small print. I even carry calculator for office, show am breakdown. Everybody for that company sabi say Ebuka no dey play with numbers.

Ifedike face change one time. “Nine hundred thousand? You get mind dey ask that kind money?”

The way e frown, e resemble when NEPA cut light for estate. Even the AC stop to blow. My mouth dry, but I no fit show fear. If I lose guard, dem go chop me like gala. I stand my ground.

“I just dey ask for my legal entitlement. Why I no go talk?”

If I no fight for myself, who go fight for me? I no go use old time friendship kill my own future. I dey gentle, but no be mumu.

Ifedike begin use friendship beg, say the others wey comot no collect anything.

The man begin remind me say na so-so handshake dem give the rest. Some people even waka with just 'God bless you.' But this time, I no gree.

I stand gidigba. Since you wan make your pikin dey wicked, I no go soft for you too.

E shock am say I fit stand my ground. For Naija, if you soft, dem go carry you play draft. I lock face.

As he see say I no gree, Ifedike talk, “Oya, take care of yourself. Mallam Michael no dey play. Make sure say you fit handle am.”

He dey warn me codedly, say if wahala burst, make I no call am. I just nod. Everybody get him cross to carry.

“I no dey fear anybody.”

Even if Kirikiri dey look me for face, I go still stand my ground. If na so dem wan do am, I dey ready.

I waka comot from him office without look back.

Na that kind waka wey if person see you for corridor, dem go shift. Some people dey peep from window, dey wonder how e go end. My leg heavy, but I no show am for face.

For my mind, I dey plan—this game never finish.