Chapter 7: Healing, Ice Cream, and Fate

Every day, I went to work and left work with Natalie. I didn't have much to do, so I always left early.

Some afternoons I’d take the subway home, headphones in, watching the city whirl by outside the window. Other days I’d wait for Natalie, scrolling TikTok or reading on my phone.

Natalie didn't. She had a ton of work. I always waited for her in the lounge.

The office lounge had an overstuffed couch, a Keurig that never worked, and a sad little ficus plant I watered religiously. I became friends with the janitor, who gave me free soda from the break room fridge.

Later, Natalie saw me watching online courses on my phone and suddenly asked seriously, "Jess, do you want to study?"

She must have noticed how much time I was spending looking up tutorials, pausing to jot notes in my battered notebook.

"...I do."

I'd lost my memory, so I didn't know much at work—almost starting from scratch. Every time I messed up, I felt pretty down.

Every typo or mix-up made my cheeks burn. I wanted to get it right so badly, just to prove I could.

Natalie was my role model when I was little, and she still is.

I watched the way she handled crises, always calm under pressure. I wanted to be that kind of woman—the one people trusted to fix things.

I wanted to be as capable and composed as Natalie. That's so cool.

I practiced my "Natalie walk" in the hallway, shoulders back, chin up, determined to learn.

Later, Natalie signed me up for classes. Every day after work, I'd drive to class.

She found a night program at NYU, even paid for my parking. I kept a thermos of coffee and a fresh pack of highlighters in my tote.

I took project management courses, and also learned all kinds of office software.

Excel, PowerPoint, even QuickBooks—I filled my evenings with formulas and color-coded calendars. My desk at home became a sea of sticky notes and reference books.

I filled two notebooks with notes before I finally started to get it. So that's how it works.

Some nights I'd fall asleep mid-sentence, pen still in hand. But slowly, things began to click.

After finishing those courses, Natalie sent me to study finance and accounting.

She said, "If you can read a spreadsheet, you can conquer the world." I started to believe her.

I studied for a year and had a huge breakthrough.

Suddenly, acronyms like ROI and EBITDA made sense. I even helped Amanda fix a budget crisis once, earning a fist bump and a donut.

So this is how things work. Work started to go smoothly, too.

I caught myself smiling at my desk, finally understanding the rhythm of office life. Maybe, just maybe, I was finding my groove.