Chapter 3: Halima's Pink Wahala

3

[Omo, why my own luck no dey like this?]

[To dey simp for one day dey sweet, to dey simp for life na enjoyment.]

[Simping easy like this? If na so, make I dey go downstairs now now.]

[Abeg, this one na premium content. Tobi, carry go!]

All these bullet comments don dey since the system pick me as simp.

But na only me dey see am—nobody else dey notice.

At first e shock me, but after some time, e just dey funny.

Some comments dey savage, some dey sound like my padi for street, just dey hail or yab anyhow. Sometimes I go nearly laugh for public, come dey form say I get call.

The day just waka go jejely.

After work, I move go next simp target.

Halima video call land as usual.

I don already wear the shine shine pink suit wey she send me.

I never meet her for real life—na only online we dey talk.

Na her rule be that.

She no too hard to please.

Just get small wahala.

The kain wahala wey dey sweet person if you sabi the code.

For screen, Halima dey shine for screen, her pink suit bright like Sallah ram for market. She narrow eye, dey check me from up to down, dey smile like person wey win bet9ja.

"You try today."

"Tobi, abeg call my name."

For her side, Halima face don red as she talk.

[Omo, out of the four, na she get the highest wahala.]

[True talk, na only Tobi wey get mind for money fit handle this one. Any other person for don break.]

[But to be honest, Halima na my spec—front dey, cute, get small craze. No bad at all...]

[Guy, you need deliverance.]

I call her name for different voice, different style.

After all, na my voice dey burst her brain pass.

From wetin I sabi, the guy wey she dey crush on get fiancée already, she never get mind tell am.

And my voice just dey like the guy own.

So na so we dey.

She dey pour all her feelings for her crush on top my head.

Of course, the things wey dey her mind... e no too pure.

Halima bite her lip, then smile, come dey form, "You know say most people no dey call me Halima. Dem dey call me Amara."

Her face soft as she yarn am, like say she dey remember childhood nickname. Light from her room dey shine for her cheek like morning sun for Kano.