He Chose My Shadow Over Me / Chapter 1: Table Scatter
He Chose My Shadow Over Me

He Chose My Shadow Over Me

Author: Ashley Stuart

Chapter 1: Table Scatter

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The day Ireti and her assistant hooked up, I just went online and posted on Facebook:

"Urgently looking for a new husband: must be fine, sabi talk well, self-disciplined, and get 100% in manly behaviour. 500,000 naira chop money every month, full benefits, first come, first serve."

I type am with my full chest, no shame for my body, my fingers just dey shake small as I press send. E be like say pepper dey my eye, but I just dey form strong woman. Na so all the hot gists wey dey cook for internet just explode like suya stand on Friday night.

That night, everywhere for trending gist just scatter.

Even for WhatsApp group, people dey tag me, dey drop memes up and down. The famous Nollywood king dey fight for pension, dragging hair with a bunch of male models. My neighbour wey sabi gossip pass, Nkechi, send voice note, dey shout: "See as Amaka don scatter table! Ah ah, see men dey beg for application form!"

Right that minute, my old school friend drop quick WhatsApp message: 'Amaka, na so you dey play? Make you no forget your pikin for house o!'

Renowned scriptwriter and top director dey carry injury just because of chop money.

I just dey my parlour, shake head, sip zobo. My phone no gree rest. Notifications just dey ring like NEPA alarm. My phone dey hot like generator wey no get fuel, notification dey buzz like mosquito for night. Inside me, na only empty dey echo, but outside, I dey laugh anyhow, dey show teeth for camera.

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