Chapter 1: When Winning Isn't Winning

It took months to finally melt the campus ice queen—only to find out, in bed, she froze up like I didn’t exist.

Looking back, it felt like the universe was playing its own twisted prank. All those playlists, the late-night walks, every carefully planned text—just to slam into a wall at the worst possible moment. It’s like saving up for the newest iPhone, only to drop it face-first on the sidewalk the second you unwrap it.

I figured she was just shy—until the comments hit.

[LMAO, only the main dude scores. The backup better stay on the bench.]

[Girl, trust yourself. If her real guy touches her for a week straight, she’ll be just fine.]

The internet’s always got a take—mean, sharp, and somehow always exactly what you don’t want to hear. Even in my college apartment, I could feel those words bouncing around my skull, like everyone was in on the joke but me.

Watching her, all flustered and regretful, asking if we could try again, I just pretended to be asleep.

She shifted on the edge of the bed, biting her lip, eyes wet. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying she couldn’t hear how hard my heart was pounding, wishing I could just vanish into the mattress.

The next day, I sent her a text.

[My dad won’t let me date anyone from out of state. Let’s break up.]

My thumb hovered over “send” while ESPN highlights flickered on mute across the room. It was the kind of excuse you throw out in middle school, but it was quick, and it worked.

I figured that was the end.

But when she saw me walking into a hotel with another girl, she snapped. She stormed over, grabbed my wrist like she was about to make a citizen’s arrest, and before I could get a word out, she was hauling me down the block like a shoplifter caught in the act.

That night, her eyes were bloodshot, desperate, pleading as she choked out,

"Alex, I took something. I can do better than her."

"Will you give me another chance? Please?"

Her voice shook so bad it sounded like it might snap in half. For a second, I thought she’d collapse right there in the stairwell, but she just stood there, chin quivering, waiting for me to answer.