Chapter 2: Between Big Men and Boys

Phone quiet for like one minute.

If na before, this kind silence go sweet me, but today, e dey press my chest. For that minute, my mind dey run up and down. Na so I dey count the small ants wey dey crawl for window.

I hold my phone tight, na only him low, steady breathing I dey hear.

E be like say time pause. I fit almost picture am—maybe e dey outside for one garden, maybe e just finish cigar. That soft hum of e breathing, e dey remind me of Abuja early morning, when breeze dey cool.

"When this one happen?" Auwalu voice calm, he dey pronounce every word well. "Why you no tell me?"

Him voice no dey quarrel, but e dey carry weight. The way e take talk am, e sure me say e really wan know. I begin dey pick my nail, dey avoid the question.

"Mm."

Who go marry finish come dey tell her ex-sugar daddy?

My laugh come out as small giggle. I use am cover shame. “Abeg, I just get the marriage certificate recently. Na blind date join us. E no too important... I no wan disturb you.”

The laugh dry, but I just add am so that e no go too serious. After all, e no suppose concern am, abi?

Another silence land.

For that second silence, I hear generator wey dey far, and one small child wey dey shout for compound. The phone still dey my ear, but my mind dey far.

Auwalu just talk three words, e no sweet, e no bitter: "Na so e be."

E just drop am like stone for ground, voice flat. No joy, no anger, just plain. For inside, I feel small pain, but I no show am.

For background wey dey noisy, I hear as he dey play with lighter—open and close am, open and close am.

That sound, na him signature. Any time Auwalu dey reason serious matter, na so e go dey play with lighter or car key. I sabi that hand movement, the rhythm dey familiar.

I just bend my head, dey look my toe, no fit talk anything.

My toe dirty small from all the waka for office. I dey tap am for ground. Inside my heart, I dey ask myself wetin I dey find for this call.

This call sef no suppose happen.

No be say I no get pride, but some kind matter dey bigger than pride. Na only desperation fit push me to dial this number again.

After all these years, I don marry, he sef get babe now.

Rumour even get am say e dey follow one senator daughter. Na big girls dey around am now. I no suppose dey drag matter with those kind people.

If no be say Kabiru dey too worry me, I for no even reason to disturb am again.

Na true. If no be wahala wey fit spoil my name for office, I go bone am, pretend say I no even sabi Auwalu number again.

Kabiru na correct playboy for Makurdi. E never even reach mid-twenties, but na enjoyment and wahala full him head.

The kind money wey e dey spend for club, e fit pay three landlord rent for one night. But na stubbornness full e body pass. People dey call am small lion for area.

We jam once for one padi dinner. The guy dey look me from beginning till end, him eye no comot for my face.

As I dey chop, I dey feel e gaze burn my skin. People dey around, but na only me and am dey do staring contest. I just bone, dey face my jollof rice.

After the food, Kabiru assistant give me hotel room card, dey smile like say na joke.

The boy wear native, shoe shine like mirror. As e hand me the card, people dey look. My body heat rise.

I just push am back, no waste time, tell am straight say I no dey interested.

My voice loud reach, make everybody for table hear. I no dey do shy-shy for this one. I no get time for nonsense.

But Kabiru feel say I dey do shakara.

The guy look me up and down, lick him lip, talk say, "Aunty, na you dey fear. I go wait." See confidence!

Three months straight, every day after work, he go wait for me outside office, dey carry flower, dey do show.

One day na red rose, next day na chocolate, another time na soft drink. People for office begin dey gossip, dey call me "Madam Queen Kabiru" for back. Shame dey catch me.

I send person go tell am, gently, say I don marry, make e no disturb me again.

Na my friend Zainab help me. She talk am with respect, but Kabiru just laugh, wave hand like say na mosquito dey talk.

But the guy just get more stubborn, even wan poach me as him secretary.

E carry job offer come my table, say e go double my salary, na just to be personal secretary. Na wah!

Gossip too bad. If e continue, I fit even lose my job.

HR don dey look my side with one kind eye. My oga begin dey ask funny questions. E remain small, dem go write query for my head.

As I reason am, I just talk: "Kabiru family dey do mining, plus e get small street boys for hand. Na only you fit hold am down."

No be joke, I know say Auwalu network pass Kabiru own. E fit clear ground without make noise.

"You wan make I handle am?" Auwalu ask, e voice cool. "Halima, your husband nko? E don die?"

The way e talk am, e pain me small. But true talk, I no fit drag Tunde for this kind fight. Auwalu sabi say na only am get the kind hand wey fit hold Kabiru.

My head blank for one second.

E be like say my brain off and on quick. I dey search for better answer wey no go make me look weak.

I answer, small shame dey my voice: "He... he just be ordinary person like me, nothing special."

I no wan make Auwalu feel say na better man pass my husband, but deep down, I know say Tunde no get Auwalu power.

The laugh wey I hear from phone cold die, e just dey mock me.

E short, sharp, as if e dey use me play. I feel am for bone.

No matter how Kabiru dey show himself, na just one small rich pikin from third-tier city. For where, he no even fit enter Auwalu circle.

True talk. For Abuja, even Lagos sef, Auwalu na name wey dey open door. Kabiru na just local champion.

Auwalu na third-generation Abuja big man, background correct, power and money full ground; even big men dey look like small pikin for where he dey.

Dem dey talk say if Auwalu waka enter event, na governors dey stand greet am. No be today the family dey run tins.

I bite my lip, wan talk something.

I dey search for words, make e no be like say I dey beg.

One soft woman voice enter phone: "Auwalu, who you dey talk to?"

The voice fine, like person wey go fit speak French. E clear say na person wey no dey carry last.

Auwalu just lie sharp sharp: "Business partner."

The woman no gree, her tone get small pride: "Make I see..."

You know those kain women wey sabi their level? The way she take talk, e be like say na territory she dey guard.

"Abeg, no start wahala."

He warn her softly, voice get one kind petting way.

Na so e dey talk when e dey try calm me down that time. Na the same gentle tone, but e carry weight.

I rush end the call, my body cold from head to toe.

I just hold my phone, dey shiver. I no even know whether na fear or shame dey catch me pass.