Chapter 1: The Summer Everything Changed

The summer I turned eighteen, Derek was the first boy I ever let get that close.

My faded high school sweatshirt hung from the desk chair, and an empty Cherry Coke can rolled underfoot every time I shifted on the bed. The air in my bedroom was thick with humidity and anticipation, the old box fan in the corner doing nothing to cool my nerves. I endured the pain, but deep down, I was secretly overjoyed the entire night, thinking my six-year crush had finally come true. It felt like something out of every coming-of-age movie I’d ever secretly watched with my head under the covers and the volume turned low.

Until the next day, when I overheard his friends teasing him:

"Damn, Derek, you finally scored with the prom queen?"

I felt a flush of embarrassment and was about to quietly slip away when I heard Derek’s careless reply:

"I’m aiming for Lillian next, but I had to get some practice in first, y’know? Nat was just a warm-up."

I said nothing. At the last moment, I silently changed my college application from Chicago to Savannah. My hand hovered over the keyboard, palms sweating, but I pressed submit anyway, staring at the confirmation until the screen went blurry.