Chapter 8: Throwing Out the Old

Less than half an hour after he left, Aubrey sent me a screenshot.

It was Lillian’s Instagram post:

[Another sunny day: Just said I was hungry, and a loving breakfast magically appeared! Feels like my crush and I are finally both in love~]

The attached photo was the exact same cinnamon rolls as the ones on my dining table, same packaging and all. I stared at the image, bile rising in my throat, the betrayal stinging all over again.

I didn’t reply.

I just silently wiped my tears and knelt down to carefully clean up the juice Derek had spilled. The carpet was already stained, the orange spreading like a wound I couldn’t close.

After scrubbing for a long time, I realized sadly that the stain had seeped deep into the wool carpet and couldn’t be cleaned out. I sat back on my heels, exhausted and empty.

In a fit of anger, I simply threw the whole carpet out. I dragged it down the stairs, barely caring when it scraped my shins.

I watched it land in the dumpster, half-expecting to feel lighter. But all I felt was tired.

Anyway, it was something Derek and his parents had picked out for me on their trip to Colorado, carrying it back by hand after an entire afternoon. The memory made me want to scream. I didn’t want any part of them in my life anymore.

While I was at it, I gathered up everything Derek had left at my place, every gift he’d ever given me, even every photo of us together, and packed it all up. The pile grew bigger with each drawer I emptied, until my room looked empty, hollow, finally mine.

It took me the whole day to throw everything away. I hauled bag after bag out to the dumpster, not stopping even when my arms ached.

He probably wouldn’t want this junk anymore, either. If he noticed, he never said.

After Derek left that day, there was no word from him for several days. The silence was so complete, it was almost comforting.

I guessed things were going well with the school beauty.

Or maybe he was waiting for me to give in. Part of me almost hoped he’d call, just once. But I held strong.

In every cold war before, I was always the one to give in, every single time. It was always me who texted first, who apologized, who tried to fix what was never really broken.

But this time, I didn’t look for him.

And there was no need to.

I blocked him on Messenger and by phone, changed my apartment’s door code, and deleted all my social media accounts. I watched the icons disappear, one by one, feeling lighter with every click.

After doing all that, I called my parents, who were away on business, and told them I wanted to visit my aunt in Oregon for the summer. I lied and said I needed a change of scenery before college.

My plan was to go straight south with Aubrey to register for college after the summer break. We’d even started a Pinterest board of dorm room ideas, determined to make it our own little sanctuary.

Other than Aubrey, no one knew I’d applied to a school in Savannah.

This way, I could perfectly avoid all chances of running into Derek. I clung to that hope like a lifeline.

Mom even teased me on the phone:

"Oh, are you and Derek going on vacation together?"

I made up an excuse to deny it, not wanting to explain too much—just said I wanted to visit my aunt and Grandma Carol. Mom laughed, saying she hoped I’d remember to call home every Sunday night.

I begged Dad to get me the earliest flight, planning to leave that very night. I packed my bags in silence, double-checking every zipper, every pocket.

As I left, I happened to run into Derek’s mom at the apartment complex gate.

She greeted me warmly:

"Nat, why are you here alone? Derek didn’t come pick you up? Didn’t he say he was taking you to Aspen to ski? Have fun, Aunt Lisa fully supports you!"

I felt a bit awkward. Her smile was genuine, but it made me want to shrink into myself.

During the busy college prep period, I had mentioned to Derek that I wanted to go skiing in Aspen and experience a real winter. We’d laughed about snowball fights and hot cocoa by the fire. But that all felt like another life now.

But with things as they were, it really wasn’t appropriate to travel together.

But time was tight, so I just brushed her off and left. I waved, smiled, and hurried away, praying she wouldn’t ask any more questions.

But I didn’t expect that at the airport, I’d actually run into Derek.