Chapter 3: Meat Pie Temptation

Still first day. As me and Efe dey waka for campus, everywhere still be like normal.

Sun dey set, but the breeze no get joy. Palm trees dey wave like dem dey warn us, "No slack."

Most students dey behave well.

Just after 6:15 p.m.

We never fit go back hostel yet.

Strange thing be say, even though e no be exam period, library just full.

But e no go last.

Once things go bad, library go empty.

Library get hidden work: to show how many dead and living dey.

Library full: You dey lucky, people around you still dey normal. Just follow rules, you go survive.

Library get empty seats: Those wey just dey follow rules don already commot.

When half seat empty: For every two people wey you meet, one no pure.

When pass half empty: You don already dey surrounded…

As I dey reason am, I dey look people face, dey try count how many dey waka like zombie. Na Naija school life be this—always dey find the code inside the wahala.

If survival wicked reach this level, people wey make am get something extra.

I ask myself: I fit survive?

For my mind, I dey talk to God, "Abeg, no let my village people win."

I feel say just to follow rules no go do. Na machine dey follow rule well. For this place, you need sense, you need to dey sharp. As we dey waka, Efe just talk, "We no fit just dey follow rule. We go create our own way, as long as we no break main rule."

I nod, dey admire Efe sharp mind. For this kain wahala, na person like am go help you survive.

"But how?"

"I never sure, but survival no dey easy. We go hustle. I feel say, we suppose create our own rules—just no break the main ones."

Efe dey reason like street boy. E sabi say for Naija, to survive, you go use sense, not just book.

I summarize am:

[As you dey follow rules, create your own way to survive.]

For my mind, I dey think, "Na true talk." I must get better luck to jam friend like Efe.

To dey with smart people dey make me smart too.

I throway small smile, "Efe, I don decide," I look am well, "even if I kpai, I wan make dem bury us together. In some years to come, dem go dig us put for one glass showcase."

Efe just burst laugh, "No try am. I dey strict for that one. Na only woman I fit bury with."

"So you go choose woman over padi?"

"No be say I no send you, na you no send me."

We laugh, chest light small. For this lockdown, laughter na medicine.

Before we know, we don waka reach cafeteria.

After we chop, we fit go back hostel.

Cafeteria bright like day, but unlike before, all food stand dey sell meat pies.

[No chop the cafeteria’s meat pies.]

Text talk say make we no chop am, but dem dey everywhere.

The aroma dey hook nose, dey call person like mama’s jollof for Sunday afternoon. The smell of fresh meat pie just dey everywhere—golden brown, small puff-puff by the side, even zobo dey chill for fridge. Normally, I for rush two, but now my mind dey cut.

Who need the meat pies?

Who dey buy am?

I dey look people eye, dey try see who fit risk am. Some dey look like say hunger wan kill them.

"Just dey watch who dey buy meat pies," Efe talk, we dey reason the same thing.

Me and Efe dey eye the counter. People dey line up, but most just dey waka pass meat pie like say dem smell something bad.

"Boss Efe! Tunde!"

Tunde and Seyi come join us, carry tray sit down.

Their face show say dem just see wahala. You no need prophet to know.

"Seyi and I see mad thing for class today. My fine eye almost commot," Tunde talk as e sit.

Just then, Musa and Halima show. Musa drop e malt for table, fold hand, look Tunde, "Oya, talk."

Our hostel don gather finish.

"We see student union for class," Seyi talk, dey chop e tomato egg. "Make Tunde talk am, e dey rush."

For cafeteria, people dey eat, but the way our table dey quiet, you go think say we dey do village meeting.

"For that small rain, Seyi and I enter class, body dey shake. Teacher stand for front like statue, dey smile—smile wey pass Mona Lisa own. I feel like one king on the way to judgment—"

"No dey do story, Seyi, talk am," Musa cut am.

"No, make I talk," Tunde insist. "For class, student phone ring, e pick, teacher talk say e go punish am, student kill teacher."

Tunde just summarize am anyhow, I no even understand.

"Na all?"

"Yes na."

"Abeg, give us details. You dey rush go reincarnate?" Musa talk.

Everybody burst small laugh, but e get one kain tension still dey inside.

"If I talk plenty, you go say I dey talk too much. Make up your mind!"

Tunde finally add:

The student dey feel like nothing fit touch am.

But most of na Tunde dey add salt.

People wey really get mind no dey scare you reach this level, so I believe Seyi version more:

As per Seyi, the student eye blank, e stand up like NEPA pole—straight, no movement, no emotion. E waka pass desk and people like breeze, reach teacher, bring out one square box.

The box no too big—like two phones by two phones.

The student carry teacher, squeeze am inside the box. Teacher body just twist anyhow.

Red liquid just full ground.

The student finish, no emotion, waka commot, e two hand and leg dey move together.

Tunde and Seyi fear so tey dem hug each other.

Halima hiss, “Abeg, if dem catch us tomorrow, na you and your romance go save us?”

Because class never finish, everybody just sit dey endure.

"How you sabi say that person dey student union?" I ask Seyi.

"The box get 'Student Union' for all sides."

Efe add, "But student union people different from normal people and the dead, abi? You fit know them for campus?"

"Yes," Seyi nod.

Seyi face show say the thing wey e see still dey disturb am. E dey shake leg under table small.

Efe conclude:

[Student union no sabi hide, but dem wicked.]

I remember the text:

[Nobody dey student union.]

My mind dey reason, wetin be the real meaning of that line? For Naija, dem fit dey say person no dey when wahala just dey start.