Chapter 1: Morning Wahala

Outside, the danfo horn dey shout for street, and generator sound just dey faint for background. Early morning, HR summon me for their usual office wahala.

The sun never even fully rise when my phone begin vibrate. That HR message carry one kain wahala energy—person wey sleep well no dey remember your name before cock crow. I look my phone, hiss, arrange my trouser well. For this our office, once HR call, you fit dey sure say kasala wan burst. I rub my chest, pray small under my breath, then start my day with that kin spirit wey say, 'E no go better for bad belle people.'

As I enter HR office, na so she just land me with: "You just enter? Abeg, siddon. I no get time for long story. I think say you get problem for your work ability. You need to improve."

She no even try do small greeting, just land am like police charge. As she talk, her face no carry any smile, just that kin stiff look wey HR people sabi put when dem wan do oga over person. I just look her, dey wonder how person go wake early, brush teeth, come office, only to dey look for another person trouble. E be like say she get one new list of office grammar wey she dey try practice.

"But my performance dey always top for this department."

I no talk am with vex, just dey reason am—if person dey top for him department, wetin again you want make e do? As I talk, I cross leg, eye her wella, make she know say I no go just gree for yeye talk.

"Good performance fit just be luck."

My hand grip chair. I wan talk, but I swallow am. For this life, luck no dey work overtime. You see am? Dem go always find way to talk down your hard work. Sometimes, I dey wonder whether dem dey do am to test person patience. This kain talk fit vex pesin wey never chop morning food.

"For five months straight now, na me dey number one."

I dey remind her, just in case say she forget. I no even dey boast, just dey state fact. In this Lagos, na only result dey talk. Na result dey make manager smile give you, dey make HR dey find your mistake.

"Market dry like harmattan bread. Others don lose half their business, but my own still dey stand."

I fit feel the tension for my chest. The office air con no even dey work well today, and this their matter dey heat my body more. For this market wey dem dey talk, na survival of the sharpest.

HR pause small, then give me one kind side-eye.

Her kind eye get as e be—like say she dey size me up, dey find where to throw another accusation. Sometimes, I wonder if dem dey pay dem for how many staff dem fit frustrate.

"Even if your work ability dey okay, your attitude na big problem."

Her voice carry one kind finality, as if na she be last judge for this world. For my mind, I dey wonder when attitude become bigger wahala pass work for office wey we dey hustle money.

"Abeg, commot for here."

This one burst from my mouth before I fit reason am. I no fit hold am. God, make dem no use my head play ball today. For this life, if dem wan use your head do football, you go show say you still get small fire for body. Even other people for office wey dey nearby, dem just dey pretend say dem no dey hear, but I know say dem dey peep. I fit hear small giggle from back desk. For this office, gist dey fly faster than NEPA light.