Chapter 4: Cut Am from WhatsApp

That afternoon, dem commot me from all the company WhatsApp groups.

As I dey check my phone, all the group notifications just disappear. You know Naija office no dey use email, na WhatsApp be the real headquarters. My heart skip. I just dey look phone, dey wonder wetin I do.

Company work dey run for WhatsApp—client meetings, notifications, everything. To commot me like that mean say dem wan make I no fit work.

If you never experience this kain thing before, e dey pain pass ordinary sack letter. Na like dem block you from market.

My phone quiet like grave. All the daily 'Good morning, team' just vanish.

I ask Mr. Tunde who do am. He say HR just send mail to all group admins, make dem remove me everywhere.

His face carry that "I no fit help you" look. I just shake my head, smile small for mouth, but my mind dey boil.

I vex, call Aunty Jessica:

"Aunty Jessica, wetin be this one? Why you remove me from company groups? How you expect make I work? I fit carry this matter go community dispute council, say una no dey give me working condition."

No need to form again—I face am direct.

If to say na street, I for don go her house with area boys. But this one na office wahala, so na voice I fit use.

"No dey threaten me. Na your fault dem commot you."

Her voice no even shake. For HR people, dem dey always act like nothing dey move them.

"Wetin I do?"

My voice dey calm, but my head dey hot. Sometimes, I dey wish say we fit dey settle this kind matter with wrestling for office backyard.

"You no change your WhatsApp group name as company talk."

Her answer na one kind. E shock me. This their rule sef, na today dem remember am?

My head just dey hot.

I scratch my head, look window. For this life, na only person wey wan find wahala go dey reason like this.

"Change wetin? Na only few people dey for company, who no know me?"

I dey try explain say everybody sabi everybody, but she no send.

"No dey shout. Na company rule. You no change your group name to your real name plus contact. How I go know say you no be spy from another company? Of course I fit commot you. If you go council, na because you break rule first."

Her shamelessness na another level.

For Naija, once dem wan frustrate you, dem go use even small rule wey nobody dey follow against you. As she dey talk, e clear say dem don plan everything.

But I know say na set up—dem dey wait make I vex, resign, or mess up so dem fit sack me for cause.

I dey reason am for my mind—dem dey use small small things push me until I tire.

"Okay, add me back now, I go change my name sharp sharp."

I talk am with small respect, just to avoid more wahala. For this country, if you show small humility, dem fit reduce their wahala.

"No wahala, but apply through office portal first. When process finish, I go add you."

She don set another long process. Before dem go add me, I fit spend two weeks dey fill form. E weak me.

I no even need look—I know say HR don already arrange process for everything.

This na just the beginning. More wahala dey come.

I dey ready, because I no fit let dem use me do scapegoat for office.