Chapter 5: Handover and Last Stand

Before close of work, HR send mail say make I hand over all my work to Halima from my department.

That mail land, my chest tight. Halima sef, na small girl wey just join, but na she dem wan use run my matter. Office politics no dey respect age.

I vex. I pick phone call HR:

"Aunty Jessica, this one no do?"

My voice loud, I no fit hide anger again.

"Nothing special. Email clear. Hand over your work to Halima."

Her voice still dey calm. This woman no dey ever shake.

"So wetin I go dey do?"

I wan hear her say am herself, make I get evidence.

"Wait for your supervisor to assign work, or ask am yourself. No ask me. But use this time improve your work ability—and attitude."

She add "attitude" like say na salt for wound. E pain me.

"You dey do this thing on purpose, abi?"

I no hide my vex. Sometimes, you gats talk true.

"Wetin be on purpose? No be you dey shout labour law up and down? Check if your contract no talk say you go obey company arrangement."

She dey use contract hold me. For her mind, e sweet am.

"But your arrangement suppose make sense."

I gree try reason. For Naija, even arrangement gats get small human feeling.

"Wetin be sense? No be you dey like go council? If you no gree, go council."

She just cut call.

As I drop phone, I dey laugh inside my mind. Na real Naija office wahala be this.

I think am well. HR plan simple but wicked.

I dey list my options for head. Dem dey play am smart, but I too dey Lagos—no be today I start dey hustle.

If dem lay me off, law say dem go pay N+1. My base salary na 150,000 naira, but with commission na over 1.2 million every month. Add year-end bonus, average monthly na over 1.8 million.

Na real money. For this our Naija economy, only commission dey make sense for this job.

I don work eight years. If dem sack me, N+1 mean nine months salary—16.2 million naira.

My mind dey calculate, dey check all the small small allowance wey dem owe me. I dey reason say if I allow dem win, my village people go laugh me.

But if dem just dey pay me base salary till next year, my average salary for past 12 months go be 150,000. Even if N+1 reach 10, na only 1.5 million. Worse, I go dey collect only 150,000 for whole year. I no fit survive like that.

Na real wicked plan.

Now dem wan make I hand over my work so dem fit stop my commission.

Halima perfume strong, e fill the small office like new paint. Dem dey play am like Naija movie—once you hand over, your money waka.

I go meet Mr. Tunde:

"Manager Tunde, wetin HR dey do me like this for?"

My voice dey calm, but my face dey show say I no dey smile again.

"I try fight for you, but nothing I fit do. HR don promise oga say she go make you commot by force. To be honest, I feel say you no suppose fight again. Both sides go just lose. Better find another job. With your level, anywhere go value you."

He talk am like say na advice, but I know say na fear dey hold am. For this country, if dem sack manager, who go fight for am?

As I expect. Mr. Tunde, even if e say e fight for me, still dey company side.

Nobody to trust. Na only myself remain.

If my papa dey alive, e for tell me: 'Ifeanyi, man wey no get helper gats help himself.'

"Remember to cooperate with handover."

He shout as I dey go.

I just wave hand. For my mind, I dey plan my next move. I no fit let dem just push me go like that.