Chapter 3: Digging My Heels In

Mom didn’t expect me to say no. She opened her mouth, ready to convince me: “Maddie, be good. Mommy has to work…”

I mashed my face into her jeans, smelling the faint soap and coffee that always meant Mom was home. I hugged her leg tight with my sticky fingers and blinked up at her, my eyes already watery. “Mommy, help me ask for time off. Take me on the business trip. I’ll be good, I promise.”

She stroked my cheek, her hand soft and warm. “Maddie, why are you sad? Mommy will be back in a few days, you have to be good.”

Her voice was gentle, but I could hear something shaky underneath, like she was trying to make herself believe it, too.

“I don’t want to.” I said again, my bottom lip sticking out. “I already know everything the preschool teachers teach. Take me with you, Mommy, please…”

My voice wobbled. I tried to look extra pitiful, the way kids on cartoons do when they want a second popsicle. Mom always said I could dig my heels in harder than a kid at bedtime when I really wanted something.

She couldn’t resist when I acted cute. Her eyes brightened, just a little, and I knew I was winning.

She hesitated for a long time, but finally gave in and called my preschool teacher to ask for leave.

She reminded me, “Maddie, you have to listen to Mommy when we go out. When Mommy is working, you mustn’t run around, okay?”

I nodded hard, hugging my favorite cartoon backpack to my chest.

So Mom took me with her.

This was my first time going to another city. Because Mom was always busy, she usually hired a babysitter to look after me, or left me with Aunt Lisa.

On the way, the comments kept rolling in front of my eyes.

[Little Maddie went with Mom on the business trip. If only she could find Dad and the three could reunite.]

[Exactly, they obviously love each other so much, but never talk. I wish I could go in and ask them, is their pride more important than life and death?]

[The company the main character is visiting is right next to Carter’s, isn’t it? They have a chance to meet again.]

[Sob sob, I really hope the dad finds out he has a daughter.]

Find Dad?

I knew all the kids in preschool had dads. Sometimes I’d watch them run up to their dads at pickup, getting swung in the air or carried piggyback to the car. Mom said my dad was far away, so I thought maybe he was dead. But is he not?

Actually, not having a dad was fine. I didn’t miss what I never had.

But the comments said Mom works so hard to raise me, so Dad should help too.

I decided I’d find Dad myself.

They don’t talk, but I can.

“Mommy, what does my dad look like?” I asked her for the first time.

Her face stiffened, her smile disappearing. She looked away, gripping the steering wheel too tightly, the radio buzzing low in the background. Even a little kid can see when a grown-up is holding back tears.

After a long time, Mom said softly, “Your dad is very good-looking, but he has a bit of a bad temper.”

That must mean his temper is really bad, I figured. Even someone as gentle as Mom couldn’t stand him.

But even if he’s got a bad temper, he should still help raise his kid.