I Catfished My Cousin’s Boyfriend / Chapter 7: Ghosts of Catfish Past
I Catfished My Cousin’s Boyfriend

I Catfished My Cousin’s Boyfriend

Author: Peter Bond


Chapter 7: Ghosts of Catfish Past

After we clear debt, that night I dream of Tunde.

In the dream, everything dey float—like leaf wey Harmattan breeze dey carry—light, lost. I dey see Tunde smile, but him face dey far, like say na mirage. I dey try reach am, but breeze dey blow me back.

I dey top all subjects, except math. That year, na Tunde use him whole energy tutor me for math. He move my score from 40 reach 75 plus.

No be small thing o. I go dey look question, him go dey break am down, dey patient like old baba for chessboard. Sometimes, I go nearly cry, him go just send me voice note: "No give up. If you fit solve one, you fit solve hundred."

Half month before exam, he ask me, "Ayo, I go really see you for UNILAG?"

Ayo na the fake name I use.

That time, my spirit wan jump comot body. The lie long, but I just dey follow the script.

My heart skip, but I force myself send voice note, use soft, sweet voice:

"Of course! With your help, I go enter UNILAG. I no wan do long distance with you~"

I add small giggle, make am real. Na the way he dey like am.

Tunde no reply sharp. After like five minutes, he send voice:

"No lie me."

E be like he dey beg, but I just lock up. If I open mouth, my real voice fit leak.

I lie am. I no be fine girl, I no enter UNILAG. Na UI I go.

The lie pain me, but na so I reason say, sometimes, you go borrow leg to waka your own race.

On school resumption day, Kamsi post picture for WhatsApp. For airport, tall guy for front na Tunde.

She dey show am for status as if say na trophy. Comments dey drop, people dey hail.

"Come pick me—see as e dey sweet."

As I see that post, I dey train lower bunk, dey look outside as bush dey pass. I reason say, unless miracle happen, me and Tunde no go cross road again for this life.

Na there I just close eye, plug earphone, dey blast Asa song. I no wan reason am again.

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