Chapter 2: Family Gist and Hidden Tears

Light still dey shine for Ifedike family house.

Outside, night dey but the compound full light, generator dey hum for backyard. The gate man dey nod for gate, small boys dey run around, housegirl dey sweep corridor. Inside, the house smell like polish and Milo.

Dem dey sip Lipton tea, dey munch chin-chin and groundnut, gist dey flow like pepper soup. Mama Ifedike and some of her friends dey drink tea for parlour.

As I dey change shoe for door, I dey hear their talk clear.

"Ngozi, you sure say you wan make Ifedike marry that small house girl?"

Na Mama Ifedike bestie, Iya Fatima, voice. She dey always reason say I no reach.

"If you ask me, you too dey believe all this prophecy."

Another aunty dey add her own, dey nod like lizard. Everybody get opinion for this house.

"Children dey sick anyhow. See Ifedike now—no be healthy he healthy so?"

Dem dey talk my matter like say I be yam wey dem wan peel. Nobody even know say I dey hear.

Na Mama Ifedike best friend talk am. Since I get engaged to Ifedike, she no like me at all.

I remember the first time she see me, she just eye me up and down, ask who born me. Na so e be since that day.

She dey talk am for my back and even for my front.

Sometimes, I dey pass, she go just drop word, make sure say I hear am. But I dey endure, dey smile, dey do my work.

Her sigh heavy, like person wey carry cement for head. She adjust her wrapper, look ground.

"Morayo don suffer too."

Dem call me Morayo for house sometimes, say make e blend with family name. I just dey look dem.

"She dey take care of Ifedike well."

She talk am like say she dey defend me. But her voice no too sure.

"When Ifedike marry finish, I go compensate her."

Dem plan for me, as if my future dey their hand. Compensation—like say my years of suffering be like debt wey dem wan pay.

My eye dey burn, tears dey stand, but I no gree let am drop. I dey bite lip, dey swallow sob.

That year, my chest break finish. I pack my bag, dey ready go back village. Mama Ifedike beg me, kneel down, cry for me. Her tears dey sweet and pain me the same time.

Ifedike body weak since he small. When he reach fourteen, one big sickness catch am.

That time, hospital bed na him second home. Injection, drip, medicine—my eye see shege that year. Everybody dey panic, house dey pray.

Mama Ifedike run everywhere for help, at last carry one popular church prophetess come house.

She waka church to church, beg pastor, prophet. One prophetess finally come, full regalia, carry bell, dey speak in tongues. Dem call neighbors, light candle.

After the prophetess pray finish, she pick me.

Prophetess say, ‘God talk say this girl carry blessing for this house.’ Dem all shock.

She say I get rare "husband-prospering" destiny, say if I engage to Ifedike, his health go better.

Everybody happy, mama hug me, promise say dem go treat me like daughter. Dem start to call me fiancée.

Before, I dey sweep floor, dey wash plate. That day, everything change. I get new room, new cloth. House help begin greet me ma.

But the boy wey matter, Ifedike, never smile for me. Even if dem cook my favorite, e no dey eat. If I greet, he go bone face, dey read book like say I dey block him view.

I go stand for parlor, smile, wave hand. E go just waka pass me, no look my face.

Sometimes, if I dey try watch TV with am, e go carry remote change channel, pretend say e no see me. If our leg jam for corridor, e go waka faster, dey avoid talk.

E suppose tell me, but he no talk. I wait tire, rain nearly beat me. School gate lock, I still dey wait, dey hope say e go show.

My cloth wet, eye red, I waka come house, dey cry. Nobody ask me why I cry, na only Mama Ifedike notice.

I no fit bear am again. My chest dey pain, my hope dey die. I tell her plain, ‘Mama, make we cancel this thing.’

She hold my hand, dey sob, dey promise say things go change. I dey pity her, my heart dey soft.

She dey find reason, dey give me hope, dey try patch my heart.

Some words dey ring for my ear till today. Sometimes I dream, I dey hear am.

She go say, ‘That boy stubborn but him heart dey good. He no sabi how to show am.’

She say, ‘He dey hide feeling, but deep inside, na you dey hold am.’

I dey smile that day, dey believe say e true. As long as he follow me, I go wait.

She dey try sweeten my mind, even though I dey see the truth.

Mama Ifedike say if e no want, e for don talk. I accept the logic, hold am tight for hope.

Na those words make me dey endure, dey swallow all the pain. I dey count years, dey hope for small change.

Her care dey sweet. Birthday, she go buy me wrapper, make special soup for me. Sometimes, she go call me pikin, hug me for kitchen.

But for my mind, I know say e no real. My mama dey for village, this one na arrangement.

I dey train myself, dey pray, dey fast. But dem don plan new story for my back. My eye open late.

I stand for corridor, dey look inside. My heart dey heavy. Na only my bag dey heavy pass my mind.

I no fit bear am. I call Zainab, my real padi, the one wey dey always support me.

"Zainab, that your offer for America still dey? My head don scatter for this Makurdi wahala."

My voice dey shake, but Zainab sabi. She just say, ‘Ngozi, I dey wait for you. Make we plan am.’ My heart rest small, I get small light for all this darkness.