Chapter 6: Truth and Sacrifice

Anytime Oladimeji return from soldier work, na so he go use me all night.

For night, na so I go dey count rafter for ceiling, dey pray make daylight reach quick. Sometimes, na only my tears dey wash my pillow. Wetin I fit do?

That night, I try my best please am.

I do wetin I fit, even as my mind dey far. I dey hope say if I do am well, maybe my life go better.

Oladimeji just dey laugh, pinch my waist. “You dey rush me like say na market dash? Abi you miss my body?”

He dey play, but I no fit join am. My laugh dry, my heart dey cold.

I no talk.

My voice no gree come out. My throat dey scratch me. I just dey look ceiling, dey count the hours.

I just manage kiss him small for cheek, body still dey shake.

My lips dey tremble, I dey fear say he go notice. But he just dey play.

For bed, I no dey ever do like that.

I dey act like wood, only do wetin madam tell me.

Oladimeji sigh. “You dey obedient.”

He tap my head, like say I be small pikin. Him voice soft, but for my ear, na insult.

As day break, I wake try push am comot.

I stand up, pack wrapper. Sun small, but I no get joy for mind.

But he drag me back, hold me. “You still wan run?”

His grip tight. I dey shiver. My mind just dey shout, 'God abeg.'

I freeze.

Fear just hold me. My breath stop.

Oladimeji rub my face, voice soft. “My nose sharp, I don sabi you and madam dey swap since.”

He smile like say na play, but I know say he mean am. My leg dey weak.

No wonder... every time he just dey do anyhow.

He dey act like say he no know, but all along, he dey count everything.

So he know say na me, no be madam. No need to pretend.

My heart squeeze like when garri soak for small water. All my shame dey my eye.

I ask soft, “So when chief go give me proper position?”

My voice dey beg. I dey look for small hope, even if e no dey.

“Position?” Oladimeji laugh. “You be madam maid. Na she fit give you. If I force am, no be wahala for marriage?”

He yarn truth, but the truth bitter like bitterleaf. My chest dey pain me.

“Wetin be your name? I go send you gold. When madam body strong, I go promote you as bed companion.”

He dey act like say e fit dash me world, but e no get meaning for me. Gold no fit heal my heart.

I close eye, just laugh inside.

My laugh no loud. Na for inside my mind, the pain dey heavy.

“Why give position to woman wey you dey sleep with free?” Madam talk true.

Na true, madam yarn. For this world, if you give person too much, dem go use you finish.

Love wey person get for bed, e no reach anything.

Na respect matter for house. If you no get name, na so so pain go dey your side.

As I no talk for long,

My silence loud. Even the birds for window quiet, dey look us.

Oladimeji laugh. “Wetin, you too happy say you no fit talk?”

He dey use me play, but my heart dey bleed. I just look ground.

I laugh, tears dey drop before I know. “Thank you, chief, but this one no be my luck.”

Tears roll my cheek. My voice shake, but I force smile. I gree for my fate.

Oladimeji shock, voice cold. “Just because I sleep with you some years, you dey proud?”

Him voice cold like ogbono wey dem forget for pot. I know say e dey vex small.

“Bed companion no do you, you wan become side chick? You suppose think of madam face.”

He no want make wahala spoil him marriage. Him pride dey for wife, no be for me.

He no like greedy woman; small anger dey for him voice.

Oladimeji eye hard, him face tight. I see say if I talk more, wahala fit start.

The side chicks for Oladimeji compound, all from better family, na big people give them.

Na only chief and elders fit bring side chick. Maids like us, we dey low for ladder.

Maid like me, I no get right to become chief side chick.

My name no reach for town. If I even talk, dem fit pursue me from house.

Plus, since madam enter, he never go side chick room again.

Everybody dey talk say love dey strong for their house. Chief no dey do like other men.

People for outside dey praise am say he love wife, and Oladimeji like am.

Even elders for village dey toast palm wine to celebrate am. 'Chief na good man.'

Madam papa na big chief, get power, dey help am.

Na true. If you see madam papa for festival, e dey shine like new coin. Him power reach everywhere.

If he really carry wife maid join, e go spoil him name.

People go talk, 'Chief don disgrace wife.' E go make him papa-in-law vex.

The more I think, the more pain and clear my mind dey.

Na so my eyes open. All this matter no be for my head. Better I find peace for myself.

Today words na just small pity from Oladimeji after him own pleasure.

I see say na only because he don satisfy himself. When time reach, he no go remember me.

Once him mind clear, he go regret am.

Na so all men be. When wahala come, na woman dey suffer.

He, na person wey go love madam forever.

I know am from day one. My own be just shadow for night.

I talk low, “This small maid no fit ask for position. I no deserve stay for chief room. I just hope chief and madam go love each other till old age.”

My voice low, but my heart dey shout. I pray make God pity me small.