Chapter 3: Secrets, Shame, and Showdown

After the event, Uncle Tunde and his friends dey smoke for corridor.

The hotel corridor cold, smell of cigarette full air. I dey stand for shadow, dey hear dem gist. Tunde dey near the window, breeze dey blow his shirt. The gold lighter for hand dey catch my eye. I hide, dey listen, my heart still dey pain me.

He lean for wall, dey play with gold lighter for hand.

He flip the lighter open and close, the flame flash, disappear. His friends dey stand in circle, laughter small, voices low. The lighter itself na special gift, engraved with his initials—one of those small things I dey notice.

The flame dey shine, dey hide.

The light from the flame dey jump for his face, but he no look anybody. His eyes dey lost inside thought.

One friend come dey tease, “With the way today be, I think say Sisi Yemi go confess to you o.”

Dem dey laugh, dey slap his back. The guy, Segun, dey smile wide. "Ah ah, Tunde, e be like say today na your day. You go gree?" The others dey join laugh, dey nudge am.

“I no expect say na just play.”

Segun add, "I think say you go serious join. The way she arrange everything, na die." Everybody dey tease.

Uncle Tunde close eyes, small smile for mouth.

He hiss, rub face, "Abeg, make una free me jare." He smile small, but e no reach his eyes. The others dey jeer, dey wait make he talk more.

“Young girl matter—no think am too much.”

He wave hand, try dismiss the talk. "She be pikin. Na small girl. All this one go pass." His tone cold.

“I no get any other feelings for Jin Yemi. I just dey care for her because our families dey close.”

He talk am sharp. The words sting me as I dey hear. "No be that kind thing. Na family. Na my responsibility." His friends dey look each other, like say dem no sure.

His friend no gree.

One of dem, Musa, shake head. "Oga, na lie you dey talk. You too dey act like say na only you sabi."

“You too near to see am clear. You see how your babe dey look you? You think say we be mumu?”

Dem dey point out all the signs. "We dey see as she dey look you. Even blind man go notice. Abeg, no come dey form innocence."

“If you really no get anything for am, that time that small boy confess to your girl, why you go warn am? Even act as her boyfriend join.”

Musa point finger. "That day for suya spot, you nearly scatter ground because one small boy toast her. You even tell the boy say she no dey. Abeg, abeg."

Uncle Tunde no talk again.

He just dey look air, lips pressed. The friends dey laugh, but he no join again. The matter don touch nerve.

I no bother listen again. I just waka enter darkness.

My heart heavy, I sneak go my room. For the darkness of the corridor, tears fall. My own feet drag for ground. I enter my room, lock door, fall for bed. The pain choke me, silence deep.

For my last life, Uncle Tunde always dey like this. The way he dey treat me don pass normal, but he no ever gree talk true.

E go dey close, pamper me, but when e matter reach for mouth, he lock up. I dey wonder whether na pride, or fear. The confusion dey bite me, like pepper for eye.

When I reach house,

My feet heavy as I enter, the house smell like home—beans and palm oil. I drop my bag, greet Aunty Rose. I go straight to my room, lie down, dey think.

I submit my application to Doctors Without Borders.

I log into my laptop, check the form again and again. My hands dey shake, but I press submit. I breathe out, tears threaten again. Na new journey I dey enter.

After my parents die one by one for war zone, I wan carry their work for head.

I dey look their pictures for table, Mama in white coat, Papa with stethoscope. I tell myself say I go make dem proud. I want try reach where dem reach, show say their sacrifice no waste.

But for my last life, I no even get chance before everything scatter.

The memories dey come like flood. I no fit get closure, no fit even mourn them well. I dey blame myself, dey wish say things fit different.

God come pity me—give me another chance.

This second chance, I tell myself, I no go use am play. I go use am well, change my story. I dey grateful, even though pain still dey my chest.