Chapter 4: Dreams, Love, and Sacrifice

True true.

I want Sani.

Na confession be this. As I talk am so, my heart dey cut small, but na the truth. From the very first day I see am.

From the first day when Sani come our class, wear fresh Nike shoe, everybody just dey look am. I too dey look.

I no go lie, Sani show for my life at the perfect time.

That period, everywhere for my life dey rough. School dey hard, family wahala full ground. Sani come, everything just sweet small.

For seventeen years before he come, I get only one dream.

That dream be like old wrapper wey I dey use cover body every night. My hope, my plan, my shield.

When my papa go drink scatter, begin beat me anyhow.

Each time, I go lock myself for toilet, hug my knees, dey recite multiplication table to distract my mind from the slap.

When my mama, because she wan save marriage money for my small brother, drag me at thirteen to go marry one old man of fifty, wey don marry before, wife die.

That day, I cry reach midnight. My mama just dey say, "Halima, na for your own good." But inside me, I dey beg God make He show me way.

“Enter best university, run comot from this place.”

Na this line I dey chant every morning like prayer, as I dey sweep compound before school. My freedom dey for inside that admission letter.

I never forget, even for one second. I no even slack at all.

Even when my body tire, my mind dey push me. If you see as I dey hold book for night, sleep no dey near my eye.

Later, even when I fit get perfect score for 2022 New WAEC Math Paper 1,

I dey always keep am for mind, like charm. If wahala come, I go just dey solve maths for head till sleep catch me.

I sabi: Nigeria best university dey my hand.

Na hope dey carry me. I dey look forward, dey count days.

Just wait for next year’s WAEC. One shot, I go clear am.

I dey mark calendar, dey dream of better life. My body dey for home, but my mind dey Ibadan already.

But when I look my seventeen years, all I see na hard childhood and life wey I bury inside book.

Sometimes, I go dey imagine say if I fit just get small sweet life, even for one day, e go balance the suffer wey I don chop.

That day, NTA dey show Ramsey Nouah’s “No Regret.” I just dey look that wild, fine face for TV, my mind wander.

I dey wonder, "If I fit even hold person like this, how life go be?" My body dey warm. For that short time, I forget all my wahala.

“If only I fit fall in love with fine boy like this at seventeen.”

I talk am for under my breath, like wish. My junior sister dey laugh me, but she no sabi say my heart dey serious.

Then Sani show.

As if God dey answer small girl prayer. Sani just appear, real life, real fine boy.

He even fine pass Ramsey for that film.

If you see as girls dey flock near am, you go fear. Even senior girls dey greet Sani, dey hope say e go notice them.

When he dey move, him jersey dey show all him muscle, just dey make my mind dey shake.

My eye dey follow am, even if I dey pretend say I dey read. Him presence dey scatter everywhere.

I want am, but I no fit get am.

I dey reason am every day, but I dey swallow hope. Who I be for Sani eye?

Like I talk, na only book I sabi.

I no sabi wear make-up. I no sabi gist. My best friend na my biro.

Apart from that, nothing special about me, I just blend inside crowd.

If you dey look class photo, you go need magnifying glass find me.

Person like Sani, always dey shine, e no go even notice me.

But now, na Amina dash me the guy with her own hand.

For my mind, I dey thank her. E fit no be love, but e sweet me.