Chapter 4: The Confession Wall Wahala

Rumour start dey fly say Halima na side chick. As me and my seatmate dey come back from toilet, we see Halima dey run pass us, dey cry dey cover mouth.

Her hijab shift small, face red. Girls for corridor dey point, dey whisper.

Musa chase her, suddenly grab my neck like say him wan strangle me: My mind dey race—wetin Musa wan do? Before I fit talk, him hand don choke me. "Ifeoma, no be you talk say you wan stay far from me? Wetin you dey do now?"

Him hand dey tight for my neck, e surprise me. For my life, Musa never touch me like that before.

Him dey choke me, I no fit breathe. My seatmate rush push am: "You dey craze? Ifeoma and I just return from toilet! Free am, she no fit breathe!"

Her voice sharp, teacher for far even look our side. I dey struggle for air, my eye dey turn.

As she talk finish, Musa release me. I just fall for ground, dey gasp for air.

Ground cold, but my body dey burn. Shame dey mix with pain.

"Ifeoma, you wicked."

Im voice crack, like say him dey blame me for everything.

"Ifeoma, you dey alright?"

Ngozi kneel for my side, dey rub my back. Her eye red, she wan cry join.

I squat for ground, dey cough, tears dey flow.

I dey shake, dey try catch breath. Everything just dey scatter for my head.

Ngozi hug me, dey pat my back: "Ifeoma, e go better. Musa and him babe just dey do anyhow."

She dey press my hand, try make I calm down. Her uniform dey stain, but she no care.

I wipe my tears, bite lip, refuse cry out.

I no wan make crowd gather. For Naija school, if you show weakness, wahala go follow you.

Just now, Musa look me with serious hate, I no even recognize am again. E be like say him really wan kill me.

My mind dey shake. All the old play wey we play for sand, e just vanish. Now na enemy dey my front.

The boy wey I know before, don disappear.

The Musa of old—na only for my dream I fit see am again.

Later, one classmate pass me phone under table.

For screen, na school WhatsApp gist group confession wall. My name dey trend. My hand dey shake.

Na so I see say person don post for school WhatsApp gist group, accuse Halima say na she scatter me and Musa relationship.

Everybody dey drop comment, some dey curse Halima, some dey call me snake.

Plenty people believe am. Comments full everywhere, people dey insult Halima anyhow.

Rumour dey run faster than okada for my school. Na so e be.

The mark for my neck don red. I think say as I reach house, I go post clarification.

For mirror, I dey see am like yam wey dem peel skin. My mind dey scatter.

But before I fit do am, I reach house, see my papa and mama dey sit down, face strong.

The way dem arrange chair, e be like say family meeting wey get bad ending.

Dem dey wait for me.

No TV, no music. Only ceiling fan dey turn, dey blow wahala come my side.

My mind tell me say wahala dey. My papa fling glass for my leg, e scatter.

Sharp pain hit me, I shout. Glass scatter for tile.

"Wetyn you do for school wey offend Musa?" Papa hit table, eye red. "You no know say our business dey depend on Musa family? You wan spoil your papa work?"

Im voice loud, neighbours fit hear. Mama just dey shake head, dey mutter for herself: 'God abeg, no let my enemies shame me for this compound.'

I stand dey hear my mama dey call me money waster, papa dey say make I go beg Musa.

Mama mouth no dey sweet at all. 'Na your fault. If I born boy, I for no get this shame.'

That house cold sotay my body dey shake.

I dey wish make ground open swallow me. The pain no get measure.

I no remember how that night end, or how dem force me go beg Musa.

I dey walk like zombie. For my mind, I dey pray make rain fall, make e wash shame commot.

I wan explain say no be me post that thing, say I go clear am.

But mouth no open. My leg dey weak.

But as door open, he just look down on me, eye cold like harmattan morning.

Him no talk, just dey look me like say I be stranger for own house.

That moment, I no fit talk anything.

If I try talk, voice go break. I just lower head, dey count dust for ground.

I just bend head, apologize.

I talk am like record, 'Sorry, sorry.' E no even reach him ear.

He just look me, lean for door: "I no wan see you for school again, Ifeoma."

Im mouth no dey shake. Na final warning.

My papa and mama dey beg, dey promise say I no go show for him front again.

Their voice dey loud, dey overlap. I dey for middle, like goat for sacrifice.

I just look up. For that cold light, I no even see him face clear again.

Na tear full my eye. The boy wey dey play sand with me, no dey here again.

That moment, my pride scatter finish.

E scatter like clay pot wey fall for well. Na only my shadow remain.

Na then I realize say me and am no dey the same world. We never stand for the same ground.

Na so e be for life. Some people dey for upstairs, some dey ground floor. You no fit force am.

The moon no dey come down because of person wish. If moon fall enter well, na just reflection—na illusion.

E dey shine for sky, but e no belong for hand.

All the kindness wey him show me before, na just play.

E pain me, but na lesson. For this life, kindness fit turn sharp.

I no suppose even get hope. From the beginning, na mistake.

I dey wish say I fit press rewind. But story don pass my hand.

That night, I pack my load. My papa and mama arrange make I transfer school.

For morning, dem no even follow me reach gate. Only my small bro wave bye.

That night, my pride scatter finish—na only my shadow follow me sleep.