Chapter 5: New School, Old Wounds

Don nearly two weeks since I transfer. I rent house near new school. My papa and mama, fear catch dem say make Musa no vex if him see me again, just tell me make I no come house.

I dey manage. Sometimes, I go cook beans, chop alone. My phone dey silent, only school group dey send message.

East and west side of city—if you no find person, you no go jam am.

Na true talk. This Makurdi big like Lagos, road plenty. I dey hide for my own corner.

"Oya, Ifeoma, come watch me play ball today."

The shout loud for corridor. Na Sani, ball captain, him shoe dey shine. Everybody know say him dey craze small.

The boy wey shout, wear black and white jersey, him eye dey shine with mischief.

E dey form big boy, but e get soft mind. Some girls dey rush am, others dey bone.

When I just come, one girl for class tell me: "That boy na Sani. Him fine, but him sabi follow girls."

She dey chew gum, dey look me up-down. Everybody dey mark my movement.

People for class dey do their own, but eye dey look our side.

Dem dey pretend say dem dey read, but na gist dem dey find.

These days, I no fit count how many times Sani don come yarn me.

E no dey give up. Every morning, him go drop gum for my desk, sometimes pure water.

Dem say na first time Sani dey chase girl, and e don tey.

Even school nurse dey laugh say 'Sani dey fall in love'.

For this age, everybody dey dream small small about school love.

Everybody wan get who go call dem for night, even if na just joke.

Dem talk say Sani don change from bad boy.

Before, e dey fight for field. Now, na only ball dey his mind. E shock people.

But even if him change, wahala still dey body.

Sometimes, e go forget class, dey chase ball. Teacher dey always scold am.

I just shake head small. "I no dey go. I get homework."

I bone, no let am see my soft side. I dey protect my own heart now.

He look my exercise book, raise eyebrow. "Ifeoma, you know say I don dey chase you for two weeks?"

Him voice dey playful. E dey try form sharp.

"And so?"

I answer dry. Make I no give am hope.

He laugh. "Abi you dey fear make I use love finish you?"

E spread hand like say him dey act film. Class dey almost empty.

By that time, class don empty. Sunset dey paint sky orange.

For window, light dey enter, dey touch my book. Na soft evening.

Suddenly, I remember say I read somewhere: evening breeze dey free, sunset dey free, and me, I be my own person.

The thought make me smile small. After all the pain, maybe na time to find my own joy.

"Ifeoma, you get one kind wahala for body..."

Him mouth dey twist, like say him dey try find word. Him no gree give up.

Whistle from basketball court cut him talk. I look am. He just smile: "One kind deadness, but still, strong head dey your body."

Sani dey use style find gist, but I dey block am. My face dey set like exam paper.

"Na why I still dey interested in you."

He talk am, but my mind dey somewhere else. I dey hear, but no dey listen.

I just look am cold, warn am: "Game don start."

If he no go ball now, coach go vex. I dey help am, make e no lose spot.

"Today match na with Unity College." Him voice low, get meaning.

Na big match for this side. Everybody dey hype am since last week.

Nobody notice.

Na only two of us dey here, rest don go field.

I look down continue my work. He no fit stand am, click tongue, waka.

Him footsteps dey echo, like say e dey vex. But me, I no send.

As he go, I look up, see clock for wall. I fit guess who post that confession wall message.

I dey reason, but e no go change anything. Story don pass.

But wetin e go change?

Sometimes, best thing na to let matter die for ground.

No.4 High School different from Unity College. Once e reach 6:30, light go off, only small sunset remain.

The school dey quiet, only generator sound dey background. My heart dey calm.

I pack my book, hang bag for shoulder, waka go downstairs.

I dey count step, dey listen to my own shoe dey tap for stair.

Gentle breeze just dey blow almond petals for ground. The petals scatter, breeze carry dem again.

The smell dey fresh, my mind dey travel. I dey remember my old days.

I stand, dey look.

For my mind, I dey wish say happiness fit fly come back like those petals.

If I remember my teenage years, everything just weak, like those petals.

E light, e dey move, e dey scatter. Nothing strong, nothing sure.

"Hey, na Ifeoma be that?"

Voice from far bring me back. My leg freeze.

The shout bring me back. I wan waka.

I dey ready to dodge, but e too late.

But dem stop me. Two familiar faces look me surprise.

Dem tall, wear old school jersey. I recognize dem from Musa old crew.

Before, I dey follow Musa waka, so I sabi him padi, we dey relate well.

All those days for field, I dey buy groundnut for them. E good, e bad, e pass.

Both of dem hold water bottle, maybe just return from kiosk.

Their shirt dey sweat, e show say dem just finish play.

"Ifeoma, you really transfer come here?"

The one wey talk get small scar for face. He dey try form soft, but na hard guy.

I look am, no even understand wetin he mean by 'really', just nod.

For my mind, I dey wish say ground fit open swallow me. But I gats stand strong.

The one with spiky hair nudge the other: "Ifeoma, you and Musa grow together. Him dey here today. Maybe you fit use this chance clear the wahala."

Dem dey try form peacemaker, but na old talk. My mind dey far.

Everybody believe say me, Ifeoma, no fit do that kind thing, but Musa, wey grow with me, gree say na me.

The old trust don scatter. Wetin remain na memory.

"No..."

I wan talk say make dem no bring matter, but...

Before I fit finish, Musa voice just cut in from far: "You dey buy water since or you wan dey talk to people wey no concern you?"

Na the Musa voice wey dey command people. I sabi am. My body cold.

He stand for there, eye cold, look me like stranger.

No smile, no warmth. Na wall I dey look, no be old friend.

As dem hear am, dem just look me, no talk. I smile. "I dey go. Bye."

I adjust bag, force smile. Na for my heart I dey pray for better tomorrow.

"Okay, bye."

Dem wave small, but na pity dey for their face. I waka go, no look back.

Sweat gather for my palm as I see dem—old memories dey rush me like flood.