Chapter 7: Channel the Pain

Lanre really begin take care of me serious.

He dey send me WhatsApp morning and night, dey remind me, "Baby, take your medicine o!" Sometimes he go cook, clean, even wash my cloth if I say I dey tired. My own surprise dey increase every day.

E dey check WhatsApp, dey remind me to take medicine, rest, even do all house work.

The caring choke. He dey try impress me pass before. But for my mind, I dey build wall.

E still wan follow me health center.

He beg, "Make I go with you now? I fit carry bag." I just dey dodge.

I refuse, say I dey shy.

He laugh, rub my head, "No wahala, I go dey house dey pray for you." I nod, dey plan my next move.

Na play—if I go, dem go catch me.

I dey fear, because nurse for our area sabi my mama. If dem see me, wahala fit blow.

Meanwhile, Zainab Musa wedding plan dey move well.

Every day, new update. My ideas dey wow dem. For group chat, dem dey drop emoji fire, clap hand, even Sade dey hail me for work.

She like my design die.

Zainab call me, "Amaka, you too much! This your colour blend na correct."

"Miss Amaka, your idea better pass wetin I even think."

The compliment dey sweet me, but my mind dey far.

I just smile.

I smile wide, but I dey feel bittersweet. My hand dey shake small as I dey draw new design.

Some of the sharp ideas na my secret ones.

I dey use the best I get, even the ones wey I plan keep for my own wedding one day. Now, I dey pour all for client.

Before, I plan use am for my own wedding with Lanre.

I dey remember, I dey sad. But money must be made.

But since no hope, I use all for this big wedding.

My brain dey reset. I dey channel pain to art.

Zainab friend dey wonder, but still vex small.

She dey complain, "Lanre na real big man? E never come look anything. Only dey send money."

"Lanre too much—na so him dey do big man?"

"E never show face one day."

I dey laugh inside. Money dey talk for here.

Zainab no send.

She just wave hand, order another drink. "Abeg, men no like stress. Dem go show face on D-day. No wahala."

"Men no like stress. Leave am."

But me, I remember when we dey buy house, Lanre happy die.

For my mind, I dey replay those memories. Na then I dey believe say love real. Na now I know say Lagos get levels.

Every weekend, we dey go shop for furniture. From wallpaper to curtain, we dey pick together.

Lanre go dey point fabric, I go laugh, say, "This one na old people colour." We go argue, then buy the one wey both of us like. Those small things, e dey sweet then.

That time, I think say I don find better man.

I dey pray, dey thank God. But now, I dey question everything.

Now I know say na big man pikin just dey play role.

The play sweet for him side. Na me collect script wey no get happy ending.