Chapter 6: Kitchen War

Once dem confirm who dey come, me and Halima Bako begin write our menu.

Everybody dey pretend say na normal day, but you fit see say tension dey for air. Even the PA wey dey bring ingredient dey tip-toe.

I just dey choose my own food quietly, Halima Bako dey gist with the host.

As I dey chop onion, scent of crayfish and maggi dey fill the air. She dey talk about her last trip to Dubai, dey show host pictures. Host dey laugh, dey form say she sabi international gist.

After plenty praise from host, Halima Bako finally talk who the designer be: “Na Karl Dan, the head for E’S brand.”

She drop the name like bomb, dey look camera, dey expect applause. E be like say she dey run soft campaign.

She look camera: “Na my friend and Chairman Musa friend too. We dey always get custom clothes from am.”

She dey shine teeth, dey turn her ring make the diamond dey flash for light.

Comments go wild.

Dem dey talk say Karl Dan na genius, say him cloth dey make even senators look young. Some dey shout say if Halima wear your cloth, your brand don blow.

[Comment: I hear say E’S na Musa family exclusive stylist, young oga dey wear their design!]

[Comment: ‘Chairman Musa’—see as e sweet~]

[Comment: Halima dey live soft life as rich man babe.]

Some dey wish say make Halima do giveaway. Na so envy dey show for comment.

I look Halima Bako, her proud smile dey shine like sun.

E be like say she just win national award. She dey adjust her wig, dey pose every two minutes.

This E’S brand na the same one she dey endorse, and e still be Musa Group company.

If you see their advert for TV, na her face full everywhere. Even my mama dey ask me if I fit get small discount for her.

Truth be say, the real founder no be Karl Dan, na Baba Fatai, the tailor wey dey sew for all the big men since Independence, na him start am. Later, as he get handwork, Musa family invest for am, he start him own brand.

Baba Fatai story dey inspire people. E dey train apprentice free, dey give cloth for church harvest. Na true community man.

The ‘Karl Dan’ wey Halima Bako mention na Baba Fatai son.

Karl Dan dey do more like PR, dey run Instagram page. Sometimes, e dey show face for red carpet, dey claim say na him sew everything.

Musa Danladi don gist me before, Karl Dan real name na Fatai Danjuma, but the guy no dey like people call am real name. Some people even think say he grow for abroad, na only English name e get.

But for backyard, na pidgin e dey use yarn boys. Only for TV e dey form accent.

Comments still dey fly. After host answer some, she face me.

I dey chop vegetable, dey try no look camera. My heart dey drum.

By now, I don sabi say the show na just to compare me and Halima Bako—use the big gap between us take cause drama make people talk.

I dey see am for director eye. Dem want make audience pick side, drag matter for social media.

Host smile: “Tolu, since you no fit invite Chairman Musa just now, you invite another person?”

She dey try corner me, make I for fumble.

She waka near me, pretend say she wan help: “If you no get friends for industry, you fit invite family or other friends.”

Her voice soft, but her eye dey shine. She dey look for gist.

As she dey talk, comments come begin drag me again.

Dem dey use meme, dey drop GIF of people dey roll eyes. My phone dey hot.

[Comment: No connection—no friend for industry.]

[Comment: Still dey pretend say she fit invite young oga—nobody send her.]

[Comment: E-list nobody, which kind friend she get? Maybe na runz girls…]

People just dey talk anyhow. If my mama dey watch, she for don off TV.

I just remove tomato stem, no even look up. “Who talk say I no invite Musa Danladi?”

I talk am as if I no dey fear anybody. For mind, I dey pray make miracle happen.

Host shock, freeze.

She open mouth, eye wide. Cameraman zoom in, dey try catch my reaction.

She look director, like say na set-up, then join the play: “Chairman Musa really dey come?”

She dey press me, dey find content.

“Wait small, you go see,” I give her small smile.

I say am with bold face, but my armpit dey sweat. If e no show, na big disgrace.

Host come relax, ready for drama, while Halima Bako eye dey cold like ice block.

She dey squeeze her hand for apron, face stone.

She talk with vex: “Honesty dey important. I hope everybody remember am.”

She drop am like warning. Everybody dey wait for showdown.

Again, comments blow up.

[Comment: Na lie, Tolu don dey addicted to clout!]

[Comment: Halima don talk say Chairman Musa dey meeting. Wetin be Tolu own?]

[Comment: God, this fake babe dey tire me. How she take exist?]

People dey form judge, dey decide my fate. I just dey chop pepper, dey count down.

My hand dey shake as I dey chop pepper, but I no go let their words enter my heart—na God hand I dey.

I scroll the comments small, then just bend head, dey cut vegetables.

I dey focus make I no let the insult enter my heart. Na only me and my God know the full story.

As I no talk, comments come even more wicked.

Some dey ask make dem drive me commot for show. Others dey beg Halima to slap me.

[Comment: Halima don vex?]

[Comment: Make Halima just act cute for Chairman Musa make he put this fake babe for her place.]

Dem dey tag Musa Danladi, dey ask am to choose one babe publicly.

I no send the comments—or Halima Bako vex face.

For this industry, if you dey find validation from strangers, you go run mad. I don learn to lock my mind.

No wahala, in at most half hour, Musa Danladi go land, everybody go see who go shame.

I dey pray make traffic for Abuja just free today.

I just focus on my cooking.

I dey chop onion, dey try remember recipe, dey count how many minutes don pass since Musa reply me.

Tomato don chop, beef brisket cut and boil, I start dey slice onion, ginger, and garlic.

My hand dey shake small, but I dey force myself make food sweet. If Musa taste am, na my way to show say na me dey his heart.

Halfway, host shout, “Ah ah, Halima and Tolu dey cook the same food—na coincidence!”

She dey laugh, but e get as e be. Na so wahala dey start.

Halima Bako look camera coldly. “Tomato beef brisket na Chairman Musa best food. Na my specialty too.”

She raise eyebrow, face camera, dey claim ownership. As if say na only her sabi Musa taste. Me, I just dey smile inside. Na who last laugh dey win.

But as I dey stir my pot, I dey wait—make Musa just show, make truth scatter ground.