Chapter 1: For This Lagos, Connection Na Everything

For this Lagos, na who get connection dey chop life—others dey watch. Honestly, people for this country no really sabi the way estate agents dey run their own. Make I yarn you the real truth: no be agents dey work for clients—na those big men wey get money dey rush dey find agents wey fit connect dem sharp sharp. The true agents no dey hustle for small small change—na hundreds of thousands dem dey collect every month.

If you never waka reach the back of this estate game, you go still dey reason say na agents dey beg people. Lie! For Lagos, Abuja, even those small towns, na the real movers get connection wey money dey follow. Big men dey beg for those coded deals, sometimes with handshake, sometimes with brown envelope. Brown envelopes pass hand for corner table inside Mama Nkechi’s canteen, palm oil smell mixing with gist and low laughter. The sharpest agents na those wey sabi keep face, steady dey collect their cut without noise.

You dey see those ones wey dey wear suit dey carry clients waka? Abeg, those ones just dey manage survive.

Even the so-called 'sharp guy' with file for hand, dey sweat for sun, dey smile anyhow just to secure client, dem dey collect chicken change. Sometimes dem fit collect small commission just to feed pikin for house. Dem go dey form big man for office, but after close, dem dey trek go house. Na only grace dey sustain those ones.

The people wey dey chop real money na those wey get family wey don get money already, millions for hand, wey enter the business just for the information wey agents dey get. With all the agents’ connections, dem sabi which landlord dey desperate to sell house.

If you no get inside info, na there your hustle go end. These rich pikin dem sabi every landlord for the area, dem get insider for every mortgage company, even police dey their pocket. Any small hint say landlord wan sell house, dem don dey front of the queue. The kind network wey dem get, even juju no fit break am.

Look that pandemic period—plenty rich people just fall yakata. Some get house wey worth two million, but because dem need sharp money, dem go gree sell am for 1.5 million (cash only, no story).

You go see correct house wey landlord build with sweat, pandemic go land, wahala go enter. Before you know, pikin school fee don choke, business lock. Na so dem dey rush sell asset for giveaway price. No time for story, na sharp man dey benefit.

Na that time agent go make him move. The agent self na rich pikin, him get money, so he go just buy the house quick quick.

Omo, you go see some agents wey just dey flex, dem no get stress. As money drop, na so dem collect key, sign paper, money move without wahala. For dem, everything na calculation—today dem buy, tomorrow dem dey arrange new deal. If you no get capital, you no dey see this side of business.

After he buy am, he go run mortgage for the house. He don already settle the right people for mortgage company. Dem go give am two million loan on top the house, he go dey pay like ten thousand every month, then after six months he go tell dem, "Omo, I no get money again, make una carry the house."

All na coded runs. You fit think say bank go vex, but mortgage officer don chop, manager don chop, even the cleaner sef fit get small something. After six months of small payment, oga go drop key, say make dem carry house. He go enter new business, dey shine teeth.

Mortgage company no dey lose—dem collect the house. Loan officer no dey lose—him own cut dey sure. The agent no even send—he don already pocket hundreds of thousands.

Everybody dey happy for inside—the real wahala na for person wey no sabi the game. As dem dey collect commission, dem dey toast life. The person wey get the house before, na him eye go clear.

So who dey lose? Na the rest of us. Because na this be real estate speculation, na leverage be this.

As dem dey run these coded deals, na we wey dey find small house for our family dey suffer. Na so price go dey fly, everything dey cost. Dem dey call am leverage, but na coded greed dey run am.

You fit talk say e no pure—so? E no dey illegal. Law no fit touch am. If he run am too much and credit spoil, he go drop small brown envelope for back office, next thing, file don clean, story don change. Na so big man dey run things.

For this Naija, if you get leg for inside, nothing dey happen. You fit wash your record with small something, call am 'admin fee'—next thing your file dey clean, you don dey ball again. Omo, the game rugged o.