I Tried to Ruin the Kingdom, But Failed / Chapter 7: Bala the Untouchable
I Tried to Ruin the Kingdom, But Failed

I Tried to Ruin the Kingdom, But Failed

Author: Robert Nguyen


Chapter 7: Bala the Untouchable

After twenty days wey I no gree do morning council, I remember one person.

I no dey appear for meeting. Palace dey quiet, chiefs dey gossip. But for inside my room, I dey study file like true Naija king. Na then I see one name wey dey shine like torchlight—Chief Bala.

Current Assistant Treasurer, Chief Bala.

Bala na man wey get smile for everybody, but eye dey shine like person wey dey count money for dream. I dey hear rumour say him no fit pass money without chop.

For future, him get bad name for corruption.

All the old records, even palace griots dey sing song about his wahala. I dey reason say this one na my golden ticket.

Dem talk say him thief one billion naira — record breaker!

Who born you? For this kain ancient world, to move that kain money no easy. Bala na champion.

Na big man be that! I respect am!

I even dey reason say maybe I suppose dey learn from am. If na another life, Bala for be political godfather.

I check Treasury account wey Attendant Musa bring.

Musa na correct guy, always arrange accounts with cowries and ledger. I see numbers, I just dey smile.

See say this year palm oil tax money from Delta side short by 300,000 naira compared to last year.

No be small money oo! For ancient kingdom, na whole village fit build new market with that.

Not too long ago, I hear palace attendants dey gossip.

Palace kitchen dey hot with gist. Palace cooks dey chop groundnut and pepper soup as dem gist about Bala’s new mansion. Dem dey say Bala don buy new land, get new slaves, and even build new fence for him wife.

Dem talk say Chief Bala just buy new mansion wey get five courtyards for south side of city.

I fit imagine the compound—big gate, fat goats, wives dey dance inside. This one no be anyhow man.

Case close, no wahala.

My mind set. Evidence complete. Bala na my man.

This Chief Bala na original, certified corrupt official!

Na this kain person I need for my plan to fail. I dey thank my stars.

I go use am well! I go use am tire!

I fit see myself for mirror, dey laugh. I dey ready to run my foolish king plan to the next level.

Quickly, I order Attendant Musa

Musa dey always ready. I snap finger, he nod, run go call Bala. Na so real king dey do.

make him summon Chief Bala come meet me.

I sit for chair, cross leg, dey wait. My plan dey sharp.

The smell of hot egusi soup from the corridor nearly distract me, but I focus as Bala waka enter.

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