Chapter 10: Sickness and Signs

Maybe the heat too much. Even with all the good food wey housekeeper cook, I no get appetite again. The aroma of stew, fried fish, all the things wey I like, no dey move me. As I swallow last spoon of jollof rice and goat meat, I rush go toilet, vomit everything. My hand hold wall, sweat dey my face.

Suddenly, my mind jump. I never see my period for months. The realization cold, e hit me like slap. I sit for toilet, dey count calendar for head.

...

With the way Suleiman dey behave, no medicine, this one no surprise. I don carry belle! I touch my stomach, e flat but e feel different. Suleiman no sabi yet. I just dey look my flat belle. The painful thing be—whether I fit decide if this pikin go stay or not, I no know.

I rinse mouth with salt water, the way my mama teach me. The taste bitter but e dey cool my throat small, even as my hand still dey shake.

These days, Suleiman dey come house early. And anytime, na to hold me. Sometimes, I no even know if na the same man wey fit just kick me any time. I no know when im don drop im pride reach this level.

Sometimes I hear am dey talk to im friends for phone. Dem dey invite am go play cards. He go laugh small, look me where I dey curl for sofa: "I dey with my wife."

...

I go hear chorus of sigh from phone, loud reach my ear. "You dey spoil your mad girl again..." Dem go just fade away, dey talk anyhow. Yes, for Suleiman friends eye, na so dem see me—crazy woman, no wan be Mrs. Suleiman, dey cause wahala everyday.

One night, I get nightmare. I no know if na dream or real. Suleiman gather people for class, dey read my score aloud. That time, I no fit read at all, wahala too much. My grades bad. But Suleiman always first, always number one. He wave my test paper for my head, dey laugh me: "Ah ah, see mumu!"

...

I wake up with shock, hear cricket dey make noise outside. Night long, the man for my side just dey breathe soft. I climb on top am, grab im neck. For darkness, he just quiet, look helpless: "You wan strangle me?"

"Suleiman, na you drag me enter wahala!" I talk am soft, dey press im neck. He just dey look me. I think, maybe one day I fit really do am. But I still no fit do am. Even as he let me do anything. The pain just dey my chest.