Chapter 6: Marriage Palava

I pass my adulthood year without wahala; my two brothers don get wife, na only me remain.

Time dey fly. For palace, once you reach certain age, if you never marry, people go dey look you one kain. My own, I dey slow, dey enjoy bachelor life.

The old mama wey dey stay with my mama dey hint say make she beg Oba arrange marriage for me.

Mama Risi, old and wise, dey always press Mama Ronke, "My sister, Bayo dey ripe, make you beg king arrange wife."

But my mama still dey chop, dey drink, dey shake head, she no send, she believe say blessing na from heaven—no need worry, fate go come, no need rush.

She dey say, "No be by running, blessing go land when time reach." Even when pressure dey, she go wave am off.

As she no get stress, she dey fresh dey go.

If you see Mama Ronke skin, e dey glow. Her smile still dey young, eye dey sharp. Na good life dey show.

I agree with my mama.

Me, I dey reason say, if no be God, marriage no fit sweet. I no dey rush like people wey dey fear old age.

The old mama dey worry too much. Me wey be Oba pikin—na so I go single forever?

If I talk am for town, people go laugh. "Prince no fit find wife?" Na joke of the year.

True true, one day for palace garden, I jam Queen, she see say I don grow, come say she go help me find correct babe.

Queen dey stroll, see as my leg don long, voice don change. She tap her walking stick, nod head, dey size me like market yam. "Ah-ah, Bayo, you don mature! Make I find wife wey go fit you."

As Queen enter the matter, Mama Sade sef begin fear, both family start dey drag, nobody wan gree.

Palace wahala start—na so family dey run up and down. Each person dey bring their own candidate, dey arrange story.

Dem dey disturb Papa Oba, each one wan make I marry their cousin.

Papa Oba eye go red. If he hear marriage matter, head go pain am. Everybody dey drag list, dey submit name.

Lawal Musa come talk for my side:

E reason am, call me for side: "Bayo, your brothers marry power for kingdom. Why you go settle for less?"

“Eldest prince marry Prince of Oke-Odo only daughter, with dowry of 100,000 warriors. Second prince marry Duke of Okpoko true daughter, pillar of good men.”

E dey count for finger: "Femi marry Oke-Odo princess, big dowry, soldiers full ground. Sulaiman collect Okpoko daughter, correct pedigree."

“You no reach their level, but you still be third prince. Whether na prince daughter or noble lady, you fit marry any.”

Lawal Musa dey boost my mind. "You sef be prince, title full head. No settle for crumbs."

“How you go settle for small family distant cousin?”

Na that one pain am pass. "Why dem dey underrate you, Bayo?"

I just laugh.

I dey see am as comedy. Life too short to dey cry for ranking.

All this marriage talk, I just dey feel like cow wey dem wan use breed champion.

Na so dem dey drag goat for festival, everybody dey judge size. Me, I just dey dey.

Lawal Musa na different person.

E get different spirit. Ambition full im blood. E dey see life as battle—me, I dey see am as party.

E no sabi say to get wife better pass not to get at all.

I dey tell am, "My brother, if you see wahala wey dey marriage, you go dey beg for single life."

No be everybody be like am—young, proud, city’s shining star, every babe dey dream of am.

Na so e dey collect love letter pass post office. E get style, e get swag. Everybody dey eye am for festival.

When im family dey find wife, dem check the whole kingdom.

The search reach other towns—emissaries dey travel, dey bring list like say na market day.

The list long—good family, clean name, correct ancestors, kind papa and mama, good brothers, sabi book, sabi work…

You go think say dem dey shop for best yam for new yam festival. Criteria no get end.

After three, four years, dem finally pick Prince of Ogbomosho pikin.

Even the selection na celebration. Im marriage make newspaper headline, all the market women dey talk am for days.

Me wey be prince, I no even reach Lawal Musa level for this marriage matter.

I dey humble. My own, na as e be, e be.

So I turn console am:

I pat im back. "Lawal, no be everybody go get luck reach you. My own, na God dey write am."

“You sef know say I no get level, so how others no go know?”

I dey try make am laugh, so e go forget all the calculation.

“Noble family always dey find who dey shine; who go bet their pikin on prince wey don comot for game?”

Na true talk. If your name no dey loud, who go send you?

“On top, dem say my brain slow, I no even be knight in shining armour. I doubt say the babes for their house dey rush me.”

I add small laugh, make tension no too choke for air.

Lawal Musa just dey look me, im eye full of pity, anger, and small helplessness.

E get soft spot for me. E dey pain am say people no rate me.

Last last, e talk:

With small hiss, e yarn, "Bayo, relax. Oba no go gree."

“No worry! Oba no go gree.”

As e talk am, I see say friendship no get duplicate. Na better padi.