Chapter 2: Quick Goodbye, Bitter Discovery

E no even take am ten minutes to pack him load finish.

The way he arrange him things quick quick, e resemble thief wey dey fear make dem catch am. He know wetin he dey find, no dey look back.

Like say, for him mind, he don already arrange what he go carry and what he go leave.

Him movement sharp, e no dey fumble with old letters or small gifts. Even the old photo wey we snap for Yaba market, he just push am aside. My chest tighten, but I no talk.

Just like our relationship.

All those years, e get things wey we both hold onto and things wey we just dey drag along. Sometimes I dey wonder, maybe na only comfort hold us together since.

The cracks don show since.

I remember last Christmas, as we dey visit my people for Imo, Tobi face dey stiff. Na my uncle even ask, “Tobi, you dey alright?” He just force smile. Na that time I first notice say things don dey spoil.

But because of that promise, he just dey pretend, dey play perfect boyfriend till the end.

Our people dey say, 'if water don pass garri, you no fit drink am again.' But because of shame and stubbornness, we dey pretend say nothing spoil.

But wetin body fit do,

heart no fit follow.

No matter how e try package, body language dey betray am. Sometimes he go just dey look window, dey lost inside thought, but still dey wash my clothes on Sunday. Na obligation, no be love again.

Anytime he unlock him phone, small smile go just show for corner of him mouth.

That small smirk, e dey always pain me. Sometimes, e be like say e dey chat with person wey dey make am happy. I go look am, he go just shake head, talk say 'na football group.'

When we go buy sanitary pad together, he go dey recommend another brand, dey claim say e no dey leak.

He go dey act like say na expert, dey read packet details. Sometimes, I dey wonder who teach am all those things. Maybe na Google, maybe na another person. My mind no rest.

He even start to dey learn how to cook.

Tobi go download recipe from YouTube, dey sweat for kitchen, dey chop onions till him eye red. Sometimes he go burn stew, but I go still force smile, dey encourage am.

But no single food wey he cook dey my taste.

E be like say e dey try impress ghost, no be me. Even the jollof rice, e dey too salty or e go burn for bottom. I go dey chew, dey wonder if na punishment or na trial.

I just dey watch am, dey see as the love wey he get for me,

small small, dey waka comot from this relationship.

E no happen overnight. Sometimes, love just dey fade like old wrapper. I go dey pray say maybe e go revive, but e just dey pale more and more.

Last last, when he even forget my mama remembrance day,

na that time I talk say make we break up.

For Igbo family, to forget such day na big disrespect. My mama wey love Tobi like pikin. That day pain me reach bone. I just know say, 'e don do.'

And he,

agree sharp sharp.

No argument, no explanation, just that nod. The silence choke me.

E happen so quick,

even dey like say e no real.

I sit down for parlor dey look him shadow as he waka go. E be like dream, like person wey thief don collect wetin belong to you.

E never even reach one hour after we break up,

one friend send me video wey show say he don announce new girlfriend.

Na so the news fly for WhatsApp group. People dey comment 'wow', dey add fire emoji. As I see the video, my heart miss beat.

I hold my phone tight, my hand just dey shake on its own.

I no even know whether na vex or shock. My eyes just dey red. I grip my phone like say I wan crush am. My knuckles white.

So na she be this.

That new intern for office.

My spirit vex. I remember all the times she dey follow me waka for corridor, dey play loyal. E pain me say na her all along.

Halima, wey dey always follow me, dey call me “Aunty Amara” with sweet mouth.

Her voice dey sweet like honey, she dey greet everybody. You go think say she get pure heart, but see where all the 'Aunty' land me.

“Aunty Amara, I no understand this report, abeg show me.”

I dey always pause my own work to help her. Even when I dey tired, I go still explain step by step.

“Aunty Amara, no worry about your business trip, I go help you look after your cat.”

I trust her reach that level, leave my spare key for her. She go send me pictures, dey update me. E pain me as I think back.

“Ah, Aunty Amara, just go jare—na just stomach pain hold your boyfriend for hospital for few days, why you dey worry? I go dey carry food for am, no wahala?”

All those days wey she dey volunteer, I think say na kindness. I no know say na groundwork she dey lay.

I flashback to the day Halima share meat pie for office, dey laugh with me like bestie. She cut the pie in half, say make I take the bigger side. She dey gist, dey tell me her village story, dey call me her sister. My chest dey pain as I remember how I trust her, how I even defend her when people dey gossip.

I look the cold jollof rice wey dey in front of me, oil just full everywhere on top.

Even the smell turn my stomach. My appetite vanish. E be like say the food dey mock me. I remember as Tobi dey pick beans from rice for me that day, now e no even dey here.

One kind bitter feeling just dey rise for my chest.

E be like say pepper and salt gather for my throat. My eye dey hot, but I refuse make tears drop.

I rush go bathroom, vomit till my head begin turn.

My leg nearly give way. As I bend for toilet, I dey pray make my neighbour no hear me, before dem begin gossip say I get belle or spiritual wahala. The thing weak me.

Abeg, e too dey disgusting.

Na true, my body just dey reject everything. Even my spirit dey protest. I flush toilet, rest head for wall, dey breathe hard.

Just too disgusting.

My soul dey vex pass my body. I no know whether na heartbreak, betrayal or something else. I just know say my world dey shake.