Chapter 3: Double Betrayal, Double Trouble

I take three days off work.

I just off phone, off data. Even my friends wey dey call, I no answer. I curl up for bed, dey count ceiling.

That day, after Tobi waka comot, I vomit.

No be small vomit o. My chest and throat pain me for hours. I even think say maybe na spiritual attack, I call my aunty for prayer.

At first, I think say na my body dey react because my boyfriend and my friend betray me.

I dey wonder whether na only heartbreak dey do all this. My body just dey weak. My aunty say make I drink salt water, I do am, but e no stop.

But later, as I dey wash plate, just the smell of that oily stew make me vomit again.

Na there I begin fear. Normally, I dey like stew smell, but this one just dey turn my stomach.

Na so my mind begin dey suspect. I go downstairs, buy pregnancy test from the chemist.

The chemist woman look me, she just smile, ask, “You sure say you wan buy am?” I nod, collect am quick, rush house.

Those two bold lines wey show nearly make me faint.

Na so I sit down for bathroom floor, test kit dey my hand, my mouth open. I dey shake. Tears gather for my eye.

"Na wah o, e don happen. Wetin I go tell my people now?" I mutter under my breath, fear grip me.

Sometimes, e dey happen when you no plan am. Life just dey play you rough.

Just half month ago,

Tobi drag me enter bed, we no let the mattress rest all night.

That night self, na after we quarrel small, na so make-up go sweet pass. We laugh, we kiss, we forget the world.

He say, “Amara, make we born pikin.”

E talk am like joke, but him eye serious. That moment, I nearly believe say love still dey.

That time, we no use anything.

No protection, no thinking. I just surrender, trust reach bone. Na there I make mistake.

How

e take just happen like this?

My mind dey race. I dey count calendar, dey try remember exact day. E shock me say I no notice quick.

I close my eyes.

I just wish say if I open am, e go be dream. But e no be.

E take me three days before I fit even try accept

say Tobi don waka.

My pillow soak with tears. I no fit eat, I no fit sleep. My sister dey beg me make I chop, but I just dey stare into space.

My hand just rest for my belle by itself.

Small hope mix with sadness. I wonder wetin fit happen if things different. My finger rub small circle, but my mind blank.

I dey sorry.

You, wey nobody expect,

na so you no go ever see this world.

My heart dey break afresh. I dey mourn future wey never reach. I just whisper, 'forgive me.' For my mind, I dey beg both God and the pikin.