Chapter 2: Shadow for Office

Ifeoma start work one month ago, after I confirm my surgery date.

That day I remember, office small like hot pot. HR dey shout, Oga dey rush meeting, everywhere dey scatter. Ifeoma stand for reception, dey look lost, her file dey shake for hand.

Aunty Bola gree cover for me, but I no gree.

She say, "Amara, rest. I go handle am." But me, I stubborn. I no like make people say na another person carry my load. For Lagos, dem fit use am hold you for mouth.

I get my reason.

Inside my heart, I dey fear make people no say I slack, especially after the surgery. Office get as e be. I no wan make Aunty Bola suffer on top my matter. Besides, I still dey run things from hospital bed.

Four years ago, as I finish university, na luck carry me reach Mr. Akin side.

That year, job no too dey. I waka taya, send CV everywhere. Na one chance interview land me for Oga table. If I talk true, na God run am. The first day I enter, him look me finish, just nod head. Since that day, I dey try shine.

That time, e just leave Akin Holdings, start him own company.

People dey fear say new company no go last, but Oga stubborn. E get eye for business. Na him hustle carry everybody join body. I dey learn work, dey do my own, dey pray say the company no go fold.

Just four years, the company don turn big name for industry.

Now, even our competitors dey fear us. Mr. Akin picture dey for business magazine. If dem call our company for radio, everybody dey hail. I dey proud, but I dey humble too.

As I dey stand for front of am, I dey shine from him light, but shadow still dey my back.

Sometimes, I feel say if Oga waka comot, nobody go remember me. Na only people wey dey close to big man dem dey see. E pain me, but I dey use am hold myself.

Now, for company, dem dey call me Sister Amara, but na because I dey by his side.

The 'Sister' na respect, but sometimes I dey feel say e mean say I be Oga shadow. Dem no sabi my real power. If I waka comot, story fit change.

Talk talk no ever stop for back.

Office no dey ever dry for gossip. People go always dey talk. Dem say Amara dey do pass herself, some say na Oga dey help am. I no send dem. I dey face my work.

Even for Mr. Akin eye, I be person wey dem fit change any time.

E fit look you today, smile. Tomorrow, you fit dey find letter for HR table. Na so e dey for Lagos work. I dey prepare my mind.

Na only if I leave am, I fit prove say na my hand work carry me reach here.

If I waka, people go know say I get sense, no be say I dey hide under Oga. For Naija, you must prove yourself two times as woman.

Again, when I first join, I hear dem say:

HR girl talk one day, say Oga just like me because I resemble one babe. I no gree answer am, but story still dey fly.

He just look me once, say make I stay—

E no even ask too many question. Just say, "Stay." Everybody surprise, me too. Na after dem begin talk.

na because I resemble him first love, the babe wey japa go UK.

E pain me when I hear. I no like make person use old love hold my destiny. But I keep quiet, dey work.

I no believe am before.

I tell myself say na lie. But mind still dey scratch me sometimes. Woman dey feel am.

Till the day Ifeoma come interview—Mr. Akin raise head look, one kind emotion flash for him face, like say e see familiar person.

That day, I see Oga face change. E just pause, look Ifeoma like say she be ghost. E shock me, but I keep face straight.

Na that day I begin believe the gist.

Office gist dey get root sometimes. After that day, I dey reason say maybe e true.

But this time, as dem dey joke, nobody mention that "Queen Amina."

Office wahala shift small. Everybody focus on new gist, nobody dey mention that old babe again. I dey thank God.

"Ifeoma resemble Sister Amara small."

I hear one junior staff whisper. Na so I just smile, dey pray make wahala no start again.

"E be like say Mr. Akin like this kind type."

People get mouth. Even if you no resemble, dem go find story. I no send, I face my work.

For night, when everywhere quiet, I dey look one group photo for my phone—the more I look, the more e clear.

Sometimes, sleep no dey come. I go just dey scroll old photos, dey remember days when life easy. As I dey look that group photo, mind dey do me one kind.

Ifeoma no really resemble me, but she resemble that him first love well well.

I zoom the picture, dey compare. My nose sharp, her own round. But Ifeoma own, like that old photo, full lips, small eyes, almost the same smile.

The group photo dey face one small picture wey fit for palm.

I keep that small photo inside purse, close to my ATM card. Anytime I look am, I dey wonder wetin life dey plan for person.

One year ago, after cleaner finish work for office, she bring me one photo.

Na that day, rain fall well. Cleaner just waka enter office, hold photo for hand. Her shoe dey wet, but she still respect herself.

"Secretary Ngozi, Mr. Akin forget this photo for dustbin. I no sure if e still need am."

She dey whisper like say she see secret. For office, anything Oga forget, na serious matter.

"Give me. I go ask am."

I collect am with two hands, dey reason how I go take show am.

I collect the photo.

I wipe am with tissue, dey look the faces inside. Old memory dey inside, I fit feel am.

Mr. Akin dey smile like small boy—maybe seventeen, eighteen.

Na rare thing to see Oga smile. The smile for that photo no get wahala, just pure, young. Him eye dey shine.

Near am, one fine girl dey, dey smile sweet.

The girl fine—like rain after dry season. E clear say both of dem dey happy.

The two of them, stand together, be like golden couple, dey shine, just too perfect.

You fit see say dem fit each other. The photo dey shine, like say dem dey prepare for future wey no happen.

As e ginger me, I snap the photo with my phone.

I dey fear make I no lose the memory. In case Oga ask for am, I fit show proof. I hide the snap for private folder.

When I return the photo to Mr. Akin table, e look am.

Oga just pause, like say e dey see ghost. E no smile, no frown. Him finger dey shake small, but e hold body.

Him hand reach, stop for air, then e draw back.

The way e stop, I fit tell say e no sure wetin to do. Like say e dey fight with him own mind.

"I throw am away."

E voice low, almost like whisper. For once, I see Oga weak.

"She don marry."

E talk am with pain. My heart just soft for am. I no know wetin to reply.

I just dey blame myself for wahala wey no concern me.

I say, "Sorry, sir," inside my mind. E get as e be when you dey remind person of old wound.

"Make I shred am before I throw am—e go safe like that."

I dey try help, but Oga no gree. The way e look me, I just keep quiet.

"Leave am. Give me."

E talk am final. I no argue. I drop the photo for table gently, dey watch am.

As my finger touch the photo, him hand land for my own at the same time, cover my hand.

For that small touch, my skin prick like when rain first touch dry ground. The touch shock me. My body just freeze. For small second, I no sabi myself. Na that moment, I see another side of Oga.

As e look up, I pull my hand back, my throat dry.

I dey pray make nobody enter office that time. My mouth dry. I just dey stare floor.

"Okay, Mr. Akin."

My voice come out small, almost like whisper. I pick my bag, waka out, but my heart still dey beat.

That small electric shock just dey my chest.

As I dey look the old photo, horn from street dey enter window, remind me say past and present dey jam for this city. Till today, if I remember that touch, I go just blush small. Life dey do person anyhow.

By now, Mr. Akin don forget.

I convince myself, but for my mind, e still dey somewhere. I keep face, dey focus on work.