Chapter 3: Bond We Dey Build

I remember that day we find am for amusement park with police, Shina just dey look one small boy wey hold him papa and mama hand, e eyes full of loneliness and envy.

Na that look dey make heart break. E stand for one corner, small hand dey grip fence, eye red. As dem dey reunite that family, na so Shina dey look, like say e dey wish make e be am. The kind emptiness for that moment, I swear, e get weight.

"No be your fault," I sigh, try comfort am. "Na aunty wicked, e too get sense."

I touch him shoulder, try reach am. Na the first time I talk that kind deep thing since we comot for aunty house. Which pikin no go wan go amusement park?

If na me that age, I for follow too.

Sometimes we dey forget say pikin get small mind, na small thing dey move dem. As I talk am, Shina look up. Something flash for him eye, but e quick drop head, mumble, "Mm."

I fit hear small relief for him voice, like say e dey try believe me. "Oya, make we dey go."

I hold him hand, squeeze am small, try show say na together we dey.

"...Okay."

I quick gather myself, check my money.

My hand dey shake small as I dey count. Lucky say after I finish secondary school, I do small work, save like sixty or seventy thousand naira, ten thousand don go for rent.

We go survive small.

I tell myself say God no go shame us. We move enter our new house, arrange till night, then crash sleep.

I sleep like log that night, but I still wake up for midnight, look Shina, make sure say e dey okay. Next morning—

I plan say I go buy food myself, but as I finish baff, I see Shina don wake, curl for that old sofa.

The boy curl like snail, wrapper dey body. Morning light dey enter from old window, shine for him face and the dark circle under him eye.

That kind light dey show how pikin dey try hide sadness, but na hope I dey hold. As e see me carry bag, ready commot, e jump stand, eye dey follow me, finger dey grip him trouser.

Na so e dey drag the trouser, as if e wan hold himself make e no fly. E wan talk, but nothing come out.

As I see the fear for him eye, my heart just squeeze.

That moment, I remember as I take dey fear when my mama first commot for market and I dey alone for house. I understand—

E dey fear say I go abandon am too.

Those WhatsApp comments from yesterday flash again. My phone dey vibrate for bed, but na only for my mind WhatsApp dey ring:

[See as small wahala boy dey look pitiful.]

[Wetin dey pity? Na acting e dey act, e dey fear say the only person wey dey care for am go run. Na so e take bend. If na me, I for don throway am since.]

[...No do like that. The wahala boy just quiet, e never do him sister anything bad, abeg.]

My eye dey blur from all the comments.

Sometimes, the thing wey dey hurt person no be wetin people dey see for outside. As I dey think, Shina come believe say I wan leave am. The light for him eye dey fade small small, hand dey shake, lips dey pale.

The kind fear for e face just dey scatter my mind. As e wan waka go him room, I quick shout: "I dey go buy food. You wan follow?"

As I finish—

E turn back sharp sharp.

As our eye jam, e eye just dey shake, e answer quick: "I go follow."

E talk like person wey dey beg, voice soft. I nod.

Na so e be.

As we dey waka commot, I rub small ori for him hair, make e for get small comfort. Wetin small pikin wey just wan follow person go market fit do?

I feel him small hand grip my finger, like say e dey hold hope.