Chapter 3: Okoli Scatter Table

As parents dey praise the food, one person just start wahala. You know Naija, na always one person go wan spoil party.

“Na this one una dey charge eight hundred every month for?” One middle-aged man tap him tray with spoon, talk with better sarcasm. Him voice loud. Everywhere freeze small. E be like everybody just wake up.

To make sure say we no disturb students, we come canteen thirty minutes late. Dem time am well. By the time we enter, bell don ring, children don waka. So na only our group dey there. The place quiet, only spoon dey knock plate.

As the man shout, everybody drop their spoon, look am. People dey wonder, who get this kind boldness for public?

“Jollof rice, fried fish, peppered beef, ugu with palm oil, steamed broccoli, plus okra soup.” One parent dey count menu, dey look everybody face. "Mr. Auwalu, you dey make big money for this canteen."

The man no hide mouth, even dey do shakara—lean back, cross leg, dey look me with side eye. Na me him dey target. For him mind, e think say e don catch thief. Him mouth dey curve like person wey dey win bet.

I reason am quick. My mind dey sharp. I dey try remember if I offend am before. But I no even know the man. We no get any wahala before. Wetin be him plan? E fit be say na person send am. For Naija, na so dem dey do sometimes.

“Sir, if you get any wahala or suggestion about the school, we fit talk after food. Make we let people chop first.” I dey try maintain peace. Everybody dey look me.

As I dey think, Principal Tunde rush try settle the matter. Principal rush say, "Abeg, no spoil this lunch."

“Principal Tunde, you dey misunderstand. I no get issue with the school. Na some people I no just fit stand. Abeg, make everybody continue chop.”

The man respect Principal Tunde, but him words still dey point my side. E talk like say e dey cover me, but e dey shade me lowkey. Some people dey laugh for corner.

After him talk, parents no get appetite again, lunch finish quick. You go see as dem dey drop tray, dem just dey rush. No more gist.

Because of this canteen wahala, as we commot, the parents go straight meeting room. No time to pose for photo. Everybody waka straight.

Me, wey dem drag inside for nothing, no fit escape. I try use small excuse say I wan pick call, but Principal Tunde catch me for corridor.

For the big round table, parents sit down one by one. Na big glass table, AC dey blow. Some people dey fan themselves still.

“Today na Wensi tenth anniversary. Apart from celebration, we also wan talk face-to-face with parents.” Principal Tunde voice calm, but e dey sweat small.

“Any suggestion or wahala, abeg talk your mind. Make we join hand make Wensi better.”

You go think say na political rally. E dey try balance everybody. Principal Tunde talk small, then give parents the chance. Na so e keep quiet, look everybody face.

Parents dey look each other, nobody talk. Some dey tap phone, dey dodge eye contact. Everybody know say this celebration and parent meeting na just formality. For Naija, sometimes meeting na just for show. Wetin dem wan yarn, dem go keep for WhatsApp group. Even if problem dey, here no be the place to talk am—at most, dem go yarn am for corner. After, you go hear different story for parking lot.

Besides, Wensi School dey okay, so parents no too get complaint. The place dey neat, pikin dey pass exam. Wetin person go talk?

“Make I talk small.” Na the man from canteen stand up. E do like say e wan drop wisdom. After everywhere quiet, the man from canteen stand up again. E clear throat, arrange him agbada.

“Me, I no get issue with the school. Everything dey okay, I fit leave my pikin here, no wahala.” E dey set ground, make e no look like enemy.

“Na only one thing: I feel say the canteen money too high.” Him eye shine as e dey talk. Some people nod head.

“Eight hundred naira per month per person for food—even university no dey collect reach this.” Some people dey murmur, "Na true o." University parents dey remember struggle.

“Especially after I chop for canteen today, I see say dem dey add join the price.” E bite lips, act like say e dey feel pain for everybody.

“Just normal house food, but una dey charge eight hundred.” Some parents dey count beans for plate, dey nod head.

“Mr. Auwalu, this one na school canteen or five-star hotel?” The man form posh, carry paper cup sip tea, clear throat. E raise pinky finger, dey do like BBC presenter.

He first praise the school, then face me with attack. E come turn full focus my side. I dey prepare.

“Sir, wetin be your surname?” Na so e talk, like say na police station.

I look round, see say everybody dey look me, I stand smile ask. I adjust my cap, talk, "I be Auwalu Sani, but you fit call me Mr. Auwalu."

“Mr. Auwalu, you dey rush to know my name—na revenge you dey plan?” The man raise eyebrow, even raise voice join. People begin look me with side eye. Some dey smile. Serious?

For my mind, I dey laugh. Na small matter, dem dey turn to big issue. Who give am mind to dey think like that? Maybe na all these TV drama dey confuse people. Just to ask name, you dey think say I wan plan something. E dey act like pikin.

“We no get any wahala, so why talk about revenge? But as we dey communicate, I suppose know how to call you, abi?” I wave hand, explain. I even add, "Na respect na. No be fight."

“No wahala, I no fear anything. My name na Mr. Okoli.” The man raise chin, dey proud. E talk am with chest. Some people dey clap softly.

“Mr. Okoli, you believe say the canteen dey charge too much?” I no even send him victim talk, I go straight to the point. I no wan drag talk. Make everybody see clear.