Chapter 2: Once Dem Give You Name

But na the first time I lie.

Na the kain lie wey pain person for chest, but I just close eye carry am. For Naija, if you poor, sometimes na lie be your only jacket.

The lie work, because I poor.

If na rich girl talk am, teacher for beat her, but as na me, dem just let am go. Na so e be for here. Poverty dey cover some people, dey expose some.

My school trouser get hole for pocket. Through that hole, my phone fit fall pass my leg, stop for my ankle.

Na the kind suffer wey dey make person dey sharp. I sew that trouser last term, but the tailor no try. My phone na old Tecno, screen don crack. I dey hide am well.

"Zainab, abeg help me with this question."

Morayo push her homework come my side, lie down beside me, dey smile like say she no do anything.

She act like nothing happen, dey twist her braids, dey laugh. Her question easy, but she go still ask, just to make me do her work.

She talk for low voice wey only me hear, "Person like you fit even use brain—na wah."

Her mouth close to my ear, the words sharp. She dey tease me, but her smile dey wide like say she win lottery.

She use her pen dey poke the back of my hand, every time harder than before.

Each poke dey pain, but I no talk. Na small punishment wey I gats chop for being Morayo seatmate.

I dey SS1, na just March I transfer come.

Harmattan never finish, everywhere dry, breeze dey carry dust enter room. I still dey try adapt to new school, new people. Even the bell for morning dey sound different.

My mama finally win divorce case after three years, carry my name comot from papa own, bring me back come our village hide.

Na court wahala, police matter, family people go dey settle, dey quarrel. My mama strong, she no gree back down. She say, "Zainab, we go survive."

My papa owe plenty loan sharks, every day dem dey come our house.

Even church people run from our side. Some days, I dey fear to open gate, make I no see men wey dey ask for money. My mama dey pray, dey fast, dey beg God make wahala pass.

When dem no see my papa, dem come face my mama and me.

One time, one man even threaten say he go pack our TV. My mama dey shake, I dey hide for room, dey peep window.

Big men go pour paint for our door, paste paper everywhere say my mama dey owe, no wan pay.

That paint dey stubborn, I try wash am with soap, e no comot. Neighbours dey pass, dey point finger, dey shake head.

Dem even send me threat message, say dem know my teacher and principal number, if we no pay, dem go call dem, make dem pursue me from school.

I delete the text, but the fear still dey my mind. Sometimes I go dream say school principal dey chase me with cane.

My mama no get mind at all—small thing, she go dey panic.

If cockroach fly for window, she go jump. Every knock for door dey make her hand shake. She dey always dey beg God for inside kitchen.

So she carry me go one secondary school for our village.

Na village school, but people dey always talk say dem get correct teacher. The building old small, but the compound neat. Assembly dey early, teacher dey shout, "No latecomer!"

She talk say the school good, na second best for the area.

I reason am. Even my cousin talk say if person pass for that school, e fit enter university without wahala. Na so hope dey catch me small.

She beg me make I no let all our wahala affect me, say make I read well, enter university.

She dey always tell me, "Zee baby, you go be the first graduate for this family." She go touch my head, dey pray, dey rub my back.

Me self, I believe am at first.

I dey look the school gate, dey see students dey play, dey laugh. I tell myself, "Maybe this place go better."

I no fine, my body big small, face full of pimples.

Even as I dey try blend in, my skin dey pepper me. The sun dey shine for my face, I dey sweat, but nobody dey notice. Some people dey point, dey whisper.

For school, I dey like person wey nobody dey see, but dem still dey bully me.

I dey waka alone for corridor, but insult dey still follow me. Sometimes, na only me dey sit for lunch. My voice dey low, but wahala still dey find me.

Person like me, I no even understand why dem still dey worry me.

Na so Naija school be—dem go pick anybody, anytime. E no matter say you quiet, wahala go find you.

For north, na harmattan dust dey blow for spring.

That dust fit enter nose, make person sneeze tire. I dey use Vaseline rub for nose, but e still dey crack.

My new seatmate na Morayo, daughter of the richest man for our area, very fine girl.

Her skin dey glow, her shoe dey always new. Her papa dey drive big car, come drop her for school every morning.

She get different hair bands, always rub gloss for her lips, dey make noise for crowd.

She sabi form clique, dey lead group, dey control class. Her laughter dey loud, e dey draw people come.

She sabi arrange herself well, even if e small.

Her skirt always iron, her socks white. Even teacher dey use her as example.

Her result good, she no dey sleep for class, her notes dey neat, handwriting fine, colourful.

She dey use red, blue, green biro dey decorate. Her handwriting dey like textbook, all her lines straight.

Teachers love her, everybody like her.

Anytime she raise hand, teacher dey smile. If she late, nobody dey shout.

At first, we dey okay, but I no know when wahala start, na me become scapegoat for class.

Na small thing start am. Maybe na because I quiet, or because I dey city before. Small small, dem begin shift away from me.

Morayo house near school, so she dey open class door every morning.

She dey come early, dey show key, dey greet cleaner. Some mornings, she go come with cake or biscuit.

One day, she give me the key, join hand beg me, "Zainab, I get something tomorrow, abeg help me open door."

Her voice sweet, she even wink. For my mind, I dey happy say she trust me.

"I go buy puff-puff for you, thanks."

I laugh, say, "No wahala," as if puff-puff fit change my life. Na village, so puff-puff na big thing for me.

I gree sharp sharp, later she dey ask for help more, but I no mind.

Some days, she go say make I help her carry bag, help her fetch water. I dey do am because I dey find friend.

I dey live far, so I dey wake up early just to open door for her. I dey try make am like me, maybe I go get friend for new school.

I dey waka from my street, cross muddy gutter, come school early. My mama dey always pray, "God go reward you."

Small time, people for class begin shout say things dey miss.

First na pencil, then eraser, then small money. I just dey look, dey pray say make the wahala pass me.

Sometimes na pen, sometimes notebook, later money join.

E go pain me if dem call my name, but my heart dey beat anytime dem shout thief.

The school CCTV na just decoration.

That camera dey corner of wall, but I never see am on since I start. Na just scarecrow.

Break time, everybody gather dey vex, dey find thief.

People dey form police, dey shout, dey scatter table. Teacher dey threaten say he go bring cane.

Morayo go stand for middle, dey calm people, "I self lose hundred naira, but e no matter, teacher talk say him go find out."

Her voice calm, but she dey look my side as she talk. Her eyes dey red small, she dey act like say she join suffer.

"Oh, make una no think say Zainab bad, she dey try. She dey help me open door since I get problem for house."

She talk am, people begin look me with side eye. My ear dey hot, I dey wish make ground open.

As she talk am, people begin reason am.

Some dey nod, others dey hiss. Na so rumour dey spread for this village school.

She dey push everybody mind, make dem point finger at me.

Her words dey like fire for dry bush. Before I know, eye don turn my side.

"Since before she come, nothing ever lost, abi?"

One boy wey dey always play ball talk am. Some girls dey nod head, dey talk for back.

"Morayo, no too good to her. She dey pretend help, but na to steal she dey come early."

The thing dey pain me, but my mouth no fit talk. I just dey hold my bag tight.

"Who else fit do am? She look like thief. People like her suppose disappear."

The insult plenty, my chest dey tight, I just dey look floor.

She go pretend surprise, cover mouth, "No oh, make una no talk like that without proof."

Her hand go cover her face, her eyes dey wide. She dey act like say she dey defend me, but the knife sharp pass wetin thief dey carry.

"No reason am like that, she dey suffer, her papa dey run from debt, mama dey hustle alone."

Even as she dey say pity, the insult full ground. Some people dey giggle, others dey throw eye.

People begin shout anyhow.

Na as if dem dey act play. One boy for window even stand, dey shout, "Thief, thief!" Na so crowd dey gather.

I stand for door, hold her cup, hear as she dey spoil my name.

My hand dey shake, the cup dey vibrate for my palm. I dey bite my tongue, no wan cry.

My brain slow, before I understand, e don late.

By the time I reason the matter, the rumour don spread reach next class. Some people dey look me with small pity, most just dey avoid me.

Gossip spread like malaria, everybody dey carry am for mouth.

Gossip fit kill person for village, especially as dem dey look me like stranger. My leg dey heavy to waka for school.

All the bad eye, laugh, insult, dey my body like lice, dey my cloth, dey my neck, everywhere.

Anytime I sit for assembly, I dey feel the whispers for my back like cold breeze. Some girls dey squeeze nose when I pass.

People go hide for corner, dey look, dey gossip.

Their eyes dey shine, their laughter dey ring for corridor. I dey waka fast, dey avoid their sight.

Dem dey imagine why I transfer, dey talk about my face and family, dey form story about my life.

Some even say na juju make my papa owe, others dey claim I be city girl wey chop pass my head. Story full ground.

Everything just happen quietly, sharp sharp.

The way e take spread fast, even mosquito for hostel hear am.