Chapter 7: Mud, Memory, and Spirit Forgiveness

That night, I show for Musa dream on time again.

I no wan miss, make Chief of Underworld no vex. I adjust my cloth, clean face.

As I dey plan how to beg am, I look up—na muddy pit I stand.

If I look ground, na thick mud. My spirit shoe dey sink. Rain dey fall, small frogs dey jump.

Rain dey fall small small.

Drizzle dey tap for head, cold dey bite bone. Na memory wey dey pain.

The pit don turn swamp.

I fit smell earth, see old leaves, mud dey smell like ancient wahala.

Na the same place wey trap us that year.

Ibadan memory strong. My heart dey beat. I dey feel cold even as spirit.

Musa sit for one rock, like say e dey wait me.

E cross leg, face down. Na deep thinking. Even as spirit, e get style.

I smile, ask: "You still dey vex for this small thing?"

I try lighten mood. My smile dey wobble, but I dey hope say Musa go catch the joke.

"Yes, I still dey vex."

E voice firm, no joke inside. E eye sharp.

Musa look me well. "After all, na me dem leave behind, no be so?"

E dey remind me say I waka comot, no look back. Pain dey e voice.

"I talk say I hit head…"

I try defend myself, but even I no believe my excuse again.

But my guilty mind no hide from him eye.

Na so my spirit bow head. Musa sabi see through people. I gree say na my fault.

That excuse na wash.

E don tire for lie. Na truth e dey find.

"You no plan to save me at all, abi?"

E talk am sharp. E no dey beg, na fact.

Musa open hand, I see scar for palm.

Old wound, still dey show. My heart bite me.

My chest tight.

Pain grip me. I no fit talk.

Na from when e push me up, hold sharp rock.

I remember that time—e use hand grip sharp stone so I fit climb out. Blood full everywhere.

After two days inside pit, wound turn white, catch infection.

That wound nearly kill am, but e still survive. Musa get strong spirit.

E just laugh himself. "Forget, I think say I go hear better answer. For your eye, human life na nothing. Anybody fit be your tool. My own life no reach one contract."

E laugh, but na sad laugh. For my heart, I feel am. I use Musa, then waka.

I no talk.

My spirit mute. For once, no comeback. Na guilt dey hold me down.

Because that time, na true—I no think to go back for am.

My ambition big pass loyalty. I dey see am now.

Musa eye just cold.

Na so. E look through me, as if say I be glass.

Scene change—the muddy pit vanish.

Like film, everywhere shift. I dey fall.

I fall, land for Musa bed.

My body weak. No fit move. Spirit shock dey hold me.

No fit move.

Spirit paralysis. Na only eye dey work.

"Musa, wetin you dey plan?"

My voice small, fear dey hide for inside.

E lower eye, begin roll sleeve.

Musa dey prepare for something. Sleeve dey go up, face dey serious.

E finger touch my ear, cheek, the heat just dey make my body tingle.

Spirit tingling dey real. I shiver, eye dey roll.

Goosebumps full me.

If to say I get flesh, hair for stand.

"You… wait…"

I dey beg small, voice dey shake.

My whole body hot, voice low, face red like say sun dey shine only for me.

Spirit face fit red? Na so my own dey do. I dey hide face, but shame no dey hide for spirit.

E finger touch my lips, eye dey my face.

E dey study my mouth, eye deep, like say e dey count my teeth.

"You get another reason to marry me?"

E dey test me, dey push me. Revenge and love dey mix.

Wahala.

Na this kind trouble dey finish spirit. I dey ready confess, but pride dey hold me.

E fit dey read mind?

Spirit sabi read spirit mind. Musa dey see all my shame and small love.

Musa catch my look sharp, face dark.

E read my mind. I dey fear, but I dey gree for inside.

"Ifeoma, you get heart at all?"

Question land, heavy. For my chest, pain dey grow.

"Maybe… I no get…"

I dey play, but my voice low. Shame and truth dey struggle inside me.

No heart, no liver, no kidney join.

I add join. I be spirit, nothing dey complete.

Musa just dey unbutton shirt, roll sleeve.

Action dey come. E face dey set like person wey dey ready for fight and romance together.

Him voice cold:

E voice chill, like harmattan night.

"You suppose know say my revenge go reach you when you leave me."

E dey warn me, but e mouth dey shake. Na love and anger dey struggle.

E body just press me down.

E dey pin me. Spirit no dey feel weight, but this one heavy.

I dey shake like dog.

Fear, excitement, everything mix. Na real wahala.

Chineke, this one pass my power.

I dey call God, but even God fit dey look spirit drama dey laugh.

My leg just hit somewhere. I pause.

I shift, leg jam table. Pain no dey, but embarrassment full ground.

Musa groan.

E pain am. Small sound escape e mouth.

I peep, see him dark eye, I just give sheepish smile:

I dey shy, dey smile small. Even spirit get shame.

"Na revenge you dey do, or you dey enjoy? Because e be like say…"

I dey tease am. If na real life, slap for land.

"Ifeoma!"

E shout, before I talk more, everywhere spin.

Spirit rotation. Scene dey twist, I dey dizzy.

Musa press me for bed, kiss land like thunder.

If you hear the sound, you go think say NEPA restore light.

With anger wey no wan finish.

Na all the years of pain, love, wahala, mix together. The kiss dey hot, dey deep.

I close eye, everywhere just dey burst for my head.

My mind dey run, my spirit dey float. I dey happy and afraid together.

After kiss, I still dey find more, dey move near.

I dey chase am for more. Spirit love no dey end quick.

Musa vex, hold my neck. "You still get mind dey kiss me!"

E dey pretend, but I know say e enjoy am.

I wag tail like hungry dog, dey smile: "So, wetin I go do to kiss you?"

I dey tease am, dey form small pikin.

"Talk say you like me."

E wan hear am, na stubborn spirit.

"I like you."

I no dey hide mouth. Spirit confession na serious thing.

"Talk say you love me."

If e no hear am, e no go rest.

I swear: "I love you!"

I raise hand, swear by all the gods. I love am, even if na spirit love.

Musa still dey form.

E dey act like say e no care, but e eye dey smile.

I move near. "Hehe, I fit kiss you now?"

I dey beg, but my spirit dey shine.

Storm dey gather for Musa eye.

Love and wahala dey clash for inside e soul.

E hand just enter under my cloth.

E dey ready for action. If to say spirit fit sweat, I for turn river.

Next thing, I dey hug head, dey cry for help.

Wahala don burst. I dey call for backup, but nobody fit answer.

Musa see my red face, my lost eye, e voice soft: "So, why you marry me?"

E wan hear the truth, for once.

I dey pant, mouth dey scatter. "To balance underworld record—one for up, eight for down."

I gree, na spirit admin work push me here. Love plus duty.

Musa get am.

E understand. Na mix of pain and acceptance.

Smile just vanish from him face.

E face cold, love dey hide.

Everywhere quiet.

Spirit hush. Even Sade dey watch for window, dey cry small. For underworld, silence mean say everybody dey reason your pain.

"Very good."

E gree. We dey together, but e pain still dey heart.

E just turn me.

E prepare for another round. Spirit wahala dey sweet and dey bite.

"Hope say you go remember those eight below soon."

Spirit duty dey wait. Underworld never finish with me. Love and work—spirit no dey rest.