Chapter 4: Palm Grove Wahala

Dem dey talk say, when sky dey craze, rain go fall; when person dey craze, wahala go land.

True talk, if you see say wahala dey come, no look another place. My own be say, as I dey reason the way everything dey go, na Amaka hand still cause am. Sometimes, na woman wahala dey push man enter gutter.

If I reason am well, the way I take cheat on Amaka during her pregnancy, na her own hand cause am.

I no dey justify my own, but if you see as she dey do, na only God fit judge me. Body be man, but spirit weak.

That time, she don reach about five months. After she don buy almost everything, na so she remember say stroller remain.

I dey beg her say, 'Baby, stroller no too important now, make we rest.' She say no.

Me, I no wan follow her go outside—make I no jam my people. I beg her make she buy am online from Jumia.

I dey push for online, say delivery go fast, but she insist say she wan touch and see.

But she no gree. She say stroller na about baby safety, so she must see am with her eye—and na the best she wan buy.

I dey wonder if na all this ajebo blood dey worry her. But e no matter, I just follow her go.

She na only child, dem spoil her well. As for me, na like say I be houseboy for their house.

I dey do everything: school runs, shopping, even massaging her leg at night. I dey wonder how I take become so soft. Na so life be, sha.

So even as I dey vex inside, I no fit argue. I just lock up follow her.

I swallow all my vex, just dey form caring husband for public. Na so I begin dey study patience like book.

As luck shine, for one expensive baby shop inside Palm Grove Estate, na so I jam Halima.

My leg nearly buckle, I for drop baby bag for ground. Na only God hold me. Na God catch me that day. The way my heart skip ehn, I fit swear say breeze blow enter my belle. You know that feeling wey old flame dey bring?

To be honest, when I first see Halima, I think say na my eye dey deceive me.

I rub eye twice. I reason say, 'No be Halima be this? How she waka enter sales girl work?' My mind no fit settle immediately.

Because after Halima dump me that time, she go marry one big man for Abuja just two months later.

The gist for our WhatsApp group na say she turn oga wife, dey live for mansion. If you see the way girls dey jealous, you go pity them.

Dem say the guy get money scatter, and Halima just turn madam overnight.

I even hear say her wedding na talk of the town. Everybody dey post picture. That time, I just dey suffer for one small town dey teach PE.

But the Halima wey stand for my front now, she don come back home and dey work as sales girl.

Life na true teacher o. I dey look her face, dey search for the pride wey I know before. Small humility don enter her.

E shock me.

I no fit talk, just dey process the thing. Lagos wahala fit humble anybody.

Halima just dey serve Amaka, she no even notice me.

She dey focus on her work. E shock me say, me wey she once love, she just dey waka pass. I dey press phone, dey form busy.

Na for counter she finally see me.

She look up, eye jam mine. The shock for her face funny me, but I just keep straight face.

Before, anytime Amaka buy something, I no dey pay.

Na her papa ATM card dey do magic. Even the shop people know her face, so dem dey greet her 'madam' up and down.

But this time, before Amaka fit scan code, I rush drop my ATM card for counter, form big man, "I go pay."

I gree pay that day just to show say, e no be as before again. Na so life be—one day, poor man go get small change.

Na there Halima finally notice me.

She pause, hand dey shake as she hold my card. I just dey watch her like film. Life sweet when table turn.

I see as shock catch her face. Her hand even shake small as she collect my card.

I reason say, maybe she dey think say I go talk to her, but I just dey form as if nothing dey happen.

I just dey form like say I no know her at all.

Na the game be that. Lagos no dey carry last. I dey play my part.

After she give me receipt, I look am, then face Amaka, begin complain: "No be you talk say you wan buy the best for baby? Why you pick one wey be only fifty thousand?"

Na so I form big man, dey talk as if I no sabi anything about price. I dey throw shade.

"This kind cheap stroller go work so?"

I dey use style provoke wahala. I wan see who go first break.

Amaka just freeze. She no expect me—wey always dey find cheap thing—go suddenly dey do like this.

She dey look me with side eye. I know say she dey suspect say something dey.

Another sales girl rush explain, "Oga, na the most expensive stroller be this o. No worry, e strong well, baby go enjoy am."

I just dey happy as dem dey call me 'oga'.

E sweet me for belle. I dey imagine say na so dem go dey call me if I open my own shop one day.

But I still form vex, face Amaka: "See the kind yeye shop wey you carry me come. The most expensive na only fifty thousand. Wonders shall never end."

Amaka just bone. She no gree argue. I know say she dey wonder if I dey okay.

I wave hand, "Abeg, make we manage this one first. If baby no like am, we go buy another one."

I just dey cap anyhow. Inside me, I dey shine teeth, dey do like correct guy.

So, as both Halima and Amaka dey look me with surprise, I bring out my car key, press am, and my Benz for outside just beep.

Na there I for catch all their attention. Amaka dey smile, Halima mouth open small. I dey form but na small thing remain I for burst laugh.

I put hand for pocket, waka comot like boss.

Dem two dey follow me with eye, I just dey step out. Na so breeze dey blow my cloth, dey ginger my confidence.

All this time, I still dey form like say I no know Halima.

But I dey calculate for mind. She go soon send me message, na just time.

But for my mind, I know say before long, she—wey block me for years—go definitely add me again.

Halima too sabi herself. I know her level—na pride dey hold her but na only for small time. Once she remember old gist, she go reach out.

Because I sabi her well.

No be today. Our story long. Na so life be.