My Girlfriend Dash Me Her House / Chapter 2: How Hustle Start
My Girlfriend Dash Me Her House

My Girlfriend Dash Me Her House

Author: Antonio Dorsey


Chapter 2: How Hustle Start

Since primary school, I don dey do footmat work. My seatmate get money—her locker dey always full—Capri Sonne, gala, even chin-chin. Pocket money dey flow like river.

The girl name na Kemi. Every Monday, her mama go give am new pencil, new biro, sometimes indomie and small change. Me, I dey eye the money, dey find how I go tap from am without wahala. So, I dey run errand for the small madam, five naira per run. I too like money, so I even dey escort her go toilet. That time, my piggy bank nearly burst.

I still remember the day Kemi forget her maths note, come dey beg me help her do classwork. I do am, collect extra five naira. For pikin that time, e be like I win lotto.

Later, the small madam change school, and with the money wey I gather, I finish primary school.

Na so I buy my first canvas, pay small for school bus, even still get change to buy puff-puff. Na hustle wey help me survive that time.

For secondary school, I start small business: every break, I go buy plenty puff-puff and gala from outside gate, then sell give my classmates for extra money during break.

I even dey add one-one sweet for bonus. All the boys dey rush me. Sometimes, I go hustle so till after class, my uniform go smell puff-puff oil, but as long as money dey enter, I no send.

My best customer na one boy, Tobi—fair skin, neat, every day him dey carry plenty cash for pocket. I no ever know wetin dey his mind.

Tobi na person wey dey always neat, always get handkerchief, and if rain dey fall, na only him go get umbrella. Even teachers dey hail am. But he dey always look like person wey get secret.

Every break, he go buy plenty snacks from me, but he no dey chop am. He go just dey share am give people for fun. Boys go dey hail am, girls go laugh, everybody dey drag for gala like say na Christmas.

Sometimes, he go carry all the gala, share am like say him na Father Christmas. Snack wrapper go full everywhere, then he go call me make I come clean am up. Twenty naira per sweep.

Me sef, I no send. Na business I dey do. As wrappers full, na so my pocket dey full too.

That time, I dey work well well, always dey run around Tobi.

If Tobi talk, I dey answer sharp sharp. If he snap finger, I go dey. Even teachers notice, dey laugh me say, "Omo, you be Tobi boy, no doubt!"

To be honest, most students no really understand the value of money. That time, I dey make correct money.

Dem go dey beg make I buy Fanta for dem—no wahala. I dey help dem. But dem no know say na inside small small change, my future dey.

At my peak, I fit make three hundred naira per day. Student money easy to make pass real world—pikin never suffer, so them no sabi money wahala.

Na so I fit buy recharge card for my small phone, dey flex small. But I still dey think say, one day, I go need make bigger money.

I grow up without papa and mama, so sharpness enter my body early, always dey reason how I go take survive.

Life for orphanage tough. You gats sharp, no dull. Sometimes, to get extra meat for soup, you go run errand, sweep ground, or help carry water. So, I learn how to dey hustle without noise.

Later, for university, I hustle pass before—until I jam Ngozi, one big girl wey dey spend money like say na water. She be ATM wey dey waka.

Ngozi get class. Her slippers alone go buy person phone. Na big girl, everybody sabi her for campus. The day I see her carry two phones—one iPhone, one Samsung—I know say this one no be my mate.

Who be Ngozi? Na art department genius, her family get property company—na true born madam. How we take meet? I be president for discipline committee, and na the twelfth time wey I catch her skip class.

Every time her name enter my list, lecturer go dey sigh. Some people go even dey ask, "Who she offend?"

Her course adviser dey look attendance sheet, dey complain, "So what if she get money? Abeg, you no need help her cancel her name."

The man dey talk like say my own future no matter. Sometimes, I just dey look am, dey pray make he finish. After adviser talk finish, I no talk again. I just dey record her name every day. Finally, before holiday, she come find me.

She waka come my hostel with her perfume wey dey announce her presence. She ask me wetin dey happen. I answer her gently, "Aunty, I no really get choice."

Ngozi just eye me, like say she dey measure my head. Her eye sharp, but she still get small smile. "If road no dey, find road."

She just dey relax for sofa, dey look me with small vex. Later, I really find way for her. I help her run around, settle everything, problem solve.

I move quietly. If I hear lecturer for corridor, I go help her hide. Na so I become her plug—any wahala, she dey call me.

She happy with my footmat work. Maybe she like am, and as she see say I dey broke, she just drop gold pendant for me.

Pendant wey cost like two hundred thousand naira. I thank her well, dey greet her morning and night.

I go wear that pendant everywhere. Even if person wan snatch am, I go hide am under shirt. If I greet her for road, na big smile.

One day, Ngozi ask me if I wan date her.

My heart cut one beat. I answer her gently, "You no like make I dey message you? No wahala, I no go message you again."

Na coded talk, because I dey fear say she go vex. My hand dey sweat, phone dey shake for my hand.

She no reply. After long, message enter: "Your name na Chuka, abi?"

That time, I even dey reason say maybe she wan block me. But as I see the message, my mind rest small.

"Yes" (cute cat emoji)

My belly just sweet. Na the first time babe use that kind emoji for me. E mean say maybe she dey play with me.

"You sabi that school fine boy, Tobi, abi?"

As I see Tobi name, I wan dodge wahala. But no way.

"I sabi am."

"He fail one subject..."

So she dey reason Tobi for mind. I just lock up.

"Okay, I go help you check am in two days."

I no even wan delay—if I fit help am, my own go better.

"Okay, thanks."

I reply fast fast, put that prayer hand sticker join.

Ngozi na real rich babe. She even send me chop money—five thousand naira.

I no waste time, collect am, send thank you sticker sharp sharp.

I put the money for savings, dey thank God. Who go reject free food?

Maybe because I collect too much money from her from beginning, later when we dey date, the thing wey she dey always talk be say, "Chuka, you dey with me because of my money."

Sometimes, she go laugh as she talk am. Other times, e go pain her, her voice go low. I go just dey look ground.

I no dey explain. After all, I born to find money, and any chop money wey she send, I dey collect am.

I no even fit reach her level. As orphan wey no get anything, I gats hustle as I fit, abi?

E get one day, I even try explain, but my tongue twist. E no easy to talk poverty gist for front of person wey dey flex everyday.

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