Chapter 4: The Price of Peace

Because I no dey pick call.

For postpartum centre, na only silence dey reign. My phone dey vibrate for bed, but I just turn face. E get as life go do you, you go just tire for wahala.

I just finish breastfeed my pikin for postpartum centre when my mother-in-law rush enter.

She burst in, wrapper nearly fall, slippers dey drag, wig shift for head like say breeze blow am. Her eyes red, voice high. I just carry my baby, dey pat back gently.

"Ifeoma, why you no dey answer my call? You know say your papa dey craze for embassy?"

She dey talk fast, hand dey wave. You go know say real panic dey her mind.

"Abeg, come house with me, carry Gu Yan documents, follow me go embassy."

She dey beg like say I fit conjure solution from air. The worry for her face fit melt stone.

As she dey talk, I just recite six numbers: "666313."

Her mouth hang open. Na the kind calm wey dey vex person.

She shock.

The room quiet, only baby dey breathe. She no believe say I just give her code like that.

I gently cover my pikin with blanket, explain:

I draw small smile, voice gentle. "I dey confinement, I no fit commot. Na the house password be that. Anything you want, carry am from house."

My mother-in-law hand dey shake small.

I see the way her hand dey tremble, like say her spirit dey far.

"Ifeoma, how you go get mind like this? Gu Yan dey miss for war zone!"

Her voice high, almost shout. You go know say she dey find hope where hope no dey.

"You no see the SOS message wey Gu Yan send for family WhatsApp group? E talk say dem shoot e leg, e dey hide for person house."

Her mouth dey twist, tears dey fall. Even my heart pinch me small, but I no show am.

"I know say you dey confinement, but this one serious. You no fit follow me go embassy go confirm wetin dey happen?"

She dey shake as she dey talk.

Her body dey vibrate, voice dey break. I just dey breathe deep, no let tears fall.

But I just answer calm: "I know as e be for Gu Yan. Before e send group SOS, e don send me plenty SOS, but I no answer."

I look her for eye, talk am with cool voice. For my mind, na only God fit judge who right or wrong.

My mother-in-law nearly fall as she hear me.

She hold wall, eyes wide. For a moment, I think say she go faint.

As I see her face, small guilt catch me. For our seven years of marriage, she treat me like her own, fill the space my mama leave.

I remember all those times she buy me suya, bring wrapper for my pikin. The woman get good heart, no be her fault.

But now, na Gu Yan spoil everything.

I no fit blame her, but pain dey my chest. Marriage wahala fit break even strongest bond.

I quietly carry video of my talk with Gu Yan that night, give my mother-in-law.

I unlock phone, show her clip. "Mama, see as e take happen."

"Mama, no vex say I dey strong. Na Gu Yan choose this road."

I bow small, voice low. My eyes dey water, but I no let am drop.

Her hand dey shake as she collect phone. After she watch finish, she just sit down for ground.

She collapse for floor, wrapper shift. Tears dey pour, but no sound.

She open mouth many times before words come out.

She dey try talk, but only breath dey come out. I move closer, rub her back small.

"Ifeoma, abeg hear me, nothing dey between Gu Yan and Jumoke."

Her voice small, like whisper. You go know say she dey beg from inside soul.

At the end, I no fit hold myself again. Even as my C-section wound dey pain, I get up go help her.

I hold her hand, steady am, even as pain dey bite my body. For Naija, family na family – no matter the fight.

Just like when Gu Yan no notice say my water don break, I still soft, give am bank card and passport.

I remember that night, the way I still help am, even when pain nearly carry me go. My heart soft, but my head dey strong.

"I know say nothing dey physical between him and Jumoke. But Gu Yan leave wife and pikin, rush go war zone because of Jumoke. That one mean say our small family no mean anything to am."

I talk am slow, so she fit hear every word. For Naija, action dey talk pass mouth.

"E prefer make my pikin no get papa, make me lose husband – make me become widow – just to find Jumoke. Then e suppose ready for the wahala."

My voice no shake. I just dey tell truth. For my heart, I don already release am to God.

My mother-in-law face just dull, no colour.

She look ground, eyes empty. The pain show for her face like Naija sun.

She try talk, but nothing come out.

I hear her throat scratch, but words no gree come. The silence loud, pass generator noise.

Maybe even she no get reason to change my mind.

She look me, look baby, look wall. No answer. Na only heavy breathing dey fill the air.

Last last, she just stand up, body dey shake. "Take care of yourself for confinement. I dey go."

She use all her strength stand, adjust wrapper, voice low. I nod, watch as she dey waka slow reach door.

As she dey waka go door, she look like person wey don old overnight.

Her back bend, steps slow. Na only sorrow dey her shadow as she commot.

Even though I feel bad, I still call her as she wan go.

My heart soft, I no fit just let her go like that. I clear throat, voice small but sure.

"Mama, abeg, when you and papa get chance this week, move comot from my house small."

She pause, turn, eyes question me. I swallow spit, dey look ground.

My mother-in-law turn back.

She dey wait for explanation, mouth dey open small.

"You no fit wait small?"

She ask, voice tired.

I shake head.

I talk am, even as pain dey press my side. For this life, everybody get limit.

"Gu Yan no wait take me go hospital when my water break before e fly travel?"

My voice rise, small pain show for face. I no fit pretend pass this.

"I just wan settle everything wey join me and Gu Yan before e come back from abroad."

For my heart, I don ready. Na only God know how tomorrow go be, but today, I need peace.

As her footsteps fade, I know say peace no dey cheap for this life—but I no go beg for am.