Chapter 5: Family Blessing, Market Curse

Since I get belle, Ifedike act like big load comot from him chest, he relax, move go sleep for study.

Dem say pikin dey bring family together, but my own, e be like say pikin divide us more. Ifedike dey run from bedroom, dey hide for him study.

The few times we share bed na when he come home drunk—just one night of wahala.

Those nights dey scatter my mind. I dey pray make e no happen again, but when e do, na so wahala go land like rain.

Tonight, as I dey half sleep, Ifedike enter.

Him step slow, no make sound. I smell the faint scent of his aftershave, that type he dey use since youth service.

He sit for my bedside, no talk anything.

Bed dip small, my body stiff. I dey wait for im word, but e just dey breathe slow.

Moonlight just dey shine for his face, but I no dey ever fit see wetyn dey his mind.

His face calm, but the shadow for him eye dark. I dey wonder if e dey think of me or if e mind dey far.

Ifedike talk soft, "I know say you never sleep."

E touch my hand gentle, like person wey dey beg for forgiveness. The room quiet, only fan dey spin.

My voice still dey crack. "Wetin dey?"

I shift body, face wall. My heart dey shake.

He quiet small, then suddenly bend kiss me gentle.

E lips cold, touch my cheek like dew for morning. My spirit scatter.

I no know why, but I just turn my face away.

Na reflex. I no fit control am. Years of hurt just rush me.

His lips brush pass my ear, he pause, shock small.

E never expect am. I hear small sigh from am, pain dey him breathe.

Ifedike close eyes, breathe deep. "Morayo, we don marry six years, abi?"

He voice crack, low. I dey wait for more, but e pause, hand for lap.

I no understand wetyn he dey talk. "Mm."

I nod, eyes close. I dey wait for e next word.

"No matter wetyn I do before, or how I feel about you, at least we don respect each other all this time, and... we get Temi."

He talk am slow, like say e dey measure him words. My chest dey tight.

He sound tired. "Abeg, let those things pass. No dey hold am for mind. Make we no spoil wetyn we get now, abeg?"

He voice low, almost like whisper. Na like say e dey beg, but e pride no let am say sorry.

My heart just bitter. I no dey hold am for mind.

I no fit even cry again. My own wahala don pass tears.

As woman, I no even fit vex for am.

Dem teach us for house say, 'Woman suppose get long liver.' Na so I dey bear am, even if e dey pain me.

All these years, under this quiet, anytime old wound open again, pain still dey my chest.

Pain dey hide for corner, but sometimes e go rush out, dey burn like pepper for wound. I dey try heal, but e hard.

I just wan small sorry wey come late.

Ifedike no sabi how far sorry dey carry person. I dey pray make he just talk am once, make my mind settle.

But Ifedike no ever feel say he owe me anything…

E dey act like say all na past. But my own, e dey fresh for mind like yesterday.

I hold my tears.

No be say e easy. I dey bite lip, hold chest, tell myself, 'No let am see you cry.'

"Sixth day of third month, six years ago, you say you no well, send your uncle to carry your bride."

My voice dey shake. I dey look am direct. The air for room heavy. I dey expect am to deny, but e just dey breathe hard.

His face change.

You fit see pain, regret, and small anger. E eye turn red, like say memory dey torture am.

When I first hear say na me go marry the most popular first son for Makurdi, joy no let me sleep for days.

I dey write names for notebook—'Mrs. Ifedike.' I dey count down to wedding. My friends dey tease me, say, 'You don win jackpot!'

Ifedike that time, bold, free, be like sun wey dey shine. Him fine eyes always dey smile.

He dey waka with confidence, greet elders, small girls dey run follow am. Ifedike then, no be like now.

"That day, I happy well. Even though e no good say na uncle come carry bride, I no even mind, I dey worry for your health."

Na me dey run up and down, dey arrange gift, dey answer question. Even when people dey whisper, I dey pray for you.

I bend my eyes down.

Tears drop for my lap. I dey try hide am, but e too much.

"Maybe you no notice, but for the wedding convoy, I see you... and that Miss Halima, dey ride okada together. We just pass each other."

I see your red cap, your laugh. My heart freeze. My mama hold my hand tight, but I know say something break for inside me.

"I just... dey look my own husband run from wedding with my own eye."

E pain me well. I no even fit talk. Just dey swallow cry.

Na real wahala—even after all these years, I still remember him agbada, how happy he be.

People dey toast, dey cheer, but my eye dey follow you waka go. That memory dey haunt me.

He wear red, but no be to come marry me.

Na another person dey inside him mind, but everybody dey pretend.

"Plenty guests come house. My papa dey happy dey drink, Mama Ifedike..."

My papa dey sing, dey dance, dey pour palm wine for ground, dey shout, 'Olatunde family don land for glory!' But me, I dey look for you, dey beg make you appear.

"Enough! I say enough!"

E shout, echo for house. My heart jump. I see blood rush his face.

As he remember, Ifedike just lose control. He punch window.

The wood shake, glass vibrate. I rush, wan hold am, but e push me small. My spirit shake.

Wood make dull sound, blood dey drip from his sleeve.

Blood stain carpet, red like anger. I grab handkerchief, but e no gree make I touch am.

Vein show for his face, eyes red, breath dey rush.

E dey breathe like person wey run marathon. For once, I see how deep the pain dey him body.

"Why you dey talk this matter again! Why! For the first son house, for my mama, no be I compromise for una?"

E voice loud, the walls dey vibrate. He dey point finger, chest dey heave. 'I give up plenty for this family!'

"She dey Ibadan now, far from Makurdi."

E voice crack, almost like say e dey beg me free am from past. E mention Ibadan like say e fit use distance bury memory.

"Morayo, I don dey with you for six years. Wetyn you still want?"

He hand dey shake, but e try hold self. My own heart dey bleed.

All the fake peace for six years scatter today.

For first time, truth spill for floor. All the cover e don use since, e tear like wrapper for nail.

Ifedike finally show him real vex.

E shout, e shake, e no care if person hear.

I no fit hold my tears again.

I collapse for chair, tears dey pour, voice dey rise. My hand dey cover face.

For the first time, I forget all my manners, shout with red eyes,

I throw all the respect for ground, shout like market woman. 'No be only you get pain!'

"So I suppose dey do like say I no see, I no hear! No see the WhatsApp message you dey send her every month, no hear as you dey call her name for dream!"

My voice high. I dey confess all my hurt. Even for night, I dey hear you mumble her name.

"You dey pity her, but me nko? You ever reason me?"

I choke. Voice crack. My own pain no dey count? Wetin I do to deserve am?

Ifedike just fling his sleeve, waka comot, slam door.

Door shake, echo for compound. Neighbours fit hear the noise.

"You no fit reach her."

His words cold, final. Like say I be stranger for him life. E cut me deep.

I shock, cover my eyes, just laugh low, pain full my voice.

Na bitter laugh. Na only spirit know why woman go stay for place wey love dry like harmattan.

Na real suffer for this marriage…

Tears run for my face, my back dey shake. This na pain wey no get word.

All the noise too much, Temi wake for next room.

Her footsteps soft, but e break my heart. I see her shadow for doorway, small, confused.

She stand for door, bare foot, eyes wet, dey look me with fear.

Her pyjamas dey twist, her thumb inside mouth. I no fit bear am.

"Mama, abeg no fight with papa, abeg?"

Her voice low, like she dey beg for world peace. My hand dey shake as I look am.

As she see me, she start to cry big tears.

Tears dey pour, nose dey run. I grab her, carry am for lap, dey rock her.

"I no want make una fight! Temi wan always be papa and mama pikin. I no want make una vex."

Her fear dey real. I feel am for her small hand as she grip my neck tight. My own tears double.

"Sister Bisi for next compound, her mama run go. I no want make I no get mama!"

Her voice break, cry loud. I dey lost. Wetin I go tell pikin for this kind wahala?

She cry more. I confuse.

I dey pat her back, but my hand dey tremble. Wetin I go do, my God?

"No be so, no be so. Your papa and me dey alright. We no dey fight."

I force smile, wipe her face, dey try calm her. My inside dey shake.

Na my own blood, my heart dey pain, so I just lie give her.

E no good to lie, but wetin I go do? I just dey pray say e go work.

"Of course we love each other—if no be so, how we for get you, Temi?"

I tickle her small, she giggle between tears. I wan repair her spirit.

"House no even get second wife. Temi dey lucky. You ever see us quarrel?"

I dey build small hope for her. Make she no carry fear go sleep.

Of course she never see. Ifedike and me dey so polite and cold, e dey fear person.

Neighbours dey say, 'That house too quiet.' But for Temi, I pray make e just be peace.

But pikin no dey understand all this. Temi tilt her head think, then smile inside tears.

Her dimple show, even as she dey sniff. Pikin heart dey pure.

"Yes! I go tell Musa for next compound say na lie! Temi be the happiest pikin."

She shake head, wipe her nose. I just smile small, dey thank God say e work.

She pull my ear, whisper,

Her voice low, mischief dey inside. 'Mama, I get secret for you.'

"Musa say him mama dey chase papa with broom, dem dey fight tire."

I laugh small inside tears. Na true, for that compound, wahala no dey ever end.

I shock. Temi just smile, happy. "Papa and mama love pass!"

She hug my neck, no let go. For her mind, love don balance again.

Inside my mind, I dey beg God, make this pikin no carry our wahala for chest.