Chapter 4: Breaker Battle
Next night, I dey cook, NEPA just take light.
I dey fry stew, all of a sudden, darkness carry everywhere. My mind no even panic—I just know say something dey fishy.
That one no suppose happen—I just pay bill yesterday.
I sharp know say wahala dey.
I waka go check electric panel for corridor—na so I see my breaker don off.
The thing dey point like say na person finger touch am. I look left, look right—silence. Mosquito dey sing, but human dey hide.
The people across just lock their door, dey form innocent.
Their window dey open small, I hear as dem dey whisper inside, dey laugh that their evil laugh.
All these their dirty tricks—smearing shit, cutting light—na real madness. Even if you catch them, call police, na only small warning you fit get. Nothing go change.
I reason am. Nigeria police get bigger problem. If dem see this one, na to say, "Settle am for house."
Normal person for don run mad with neighbors like this.
But now wey dem jam me, na dem go suffer.
Dem never know say Ifeanyi wey dey handle market boys for Onitsha no dey fear ordinary bald man.
I just smile, turn the breaker back on, enter house.
Not long, light go off again.
E be like small pikin dey play hide and seek. I just dey laugh, dey enjoy the game.
I do the same, turn am on.
The third time, I open my door gently.
This time, I dey tiptoe like thief wey dey fear winch. The bald man dey stand under electric panel, hand still hold my breaker. As he see me, fear catch am small.
He wan bone face, but I catch am red-handed. The way e dey stand, e no fit deny am.
"So, to dey off people light na your new hobby?"
My voice dey calm, but my eye dey shine. Lagos no dey tire person until e jam person wey stubborn pass am.
The bald man try remove hand, but e no gree come out.
Na the glue dey show him pepper. E dey pull, e dey groan, but e no work.
I just smile: "Na fast-drying super glue I use. How e dey feel for your hand?"
I talk am with small laugh. The corridor light from generator dey shine for him bald head, e be like movie scene.
Na that time e know say e don enter wahala.
I fit see the sweat for him face, as e dey bite lip. People begin open door small-small, dey peep. This kain drama no dey happen every day.
"You dey craze! You set me up!"
He shout am, but this time, e voice dey shake. As I dey look am, I dey remember all the times e try run me mad. Omo, e never start. For this Lagos, na who stubborn pass dey win—make we see who go first beg.