Chapter 5: Chuka Own Get As E Be

Next morning, I wake up early purposely.

Before cock crow, I don dey ready. Na so I take set my alarm, no even chop breakfast, just to make sure I no miss Chuka movement.

After I bath sharp sharp, I go downstairs to Chuka building, come dey wait for am.

I dey press my phone, dey pretend say I dey check TikTok, but na only Chuka matter dey my mind. Sun dey come up, I dey feel small tension for belle.

I no dey fear say he go recognize me. To be honest, he never even see me before.

Even for compound, I dey waka like ghost—nobody sabi say na me. My beards don grow small, I dey wear face mask. E be like say I dey act for Netflix series.

We never jam face-to-face, and even when I dey spy, I dey off my light, pull curtain, just dey peep small.

I dey remember when one neighbour nearly see me for window last week. Na God save me say I quick close curtain.

Even if we pass for road, unless he be my fan, he no go know me. And with over one million followers, na small thing be that.

This Lagos, people dey mind their business. Nobody get time to dey look another man face.

As I dey think all this, na so I see Chuka come downstairs.

He dey bounce, earphone for ear, face serious. Him body language dey show say him no get time for wahala today.

He wear him delivery uniform, as he pass me, he look my side two times.

Na the kain look wey dey say, "Who you be?" but Lagos boys no dey fear.

I no reason am—maybe because I just dey squat for there like stranger.

I adjust my posture, pretend say I dey wait for keke. My mind dey reason all possible escape route if e confront me.

I no follow am immediately. I watch as he ride commot, then I jump enter my own okada.

My okada man, Baba Sule, dey always ask, "Oga, where we dey go today?" but today I just say, "Follow that delivery bike."

I follow am for two deliveries. But wetin he do next confuse me.

I dey expect say he go dey hustle, but after two stops, the guy just park one corner, dey press him phone like say him dey chat babe.

All morning, Chuka just do two orders. The rest of the time, he just dey sit down for him bike, dey press phone.

Sun dey burn, but the guy no even send. I dey reason if na betting app dey keep am busy, or maybe him dey hustle online babe.

People dey like that, but as full-time delivery guy, e no make sense. Their money na per delivery—no salary.

I get one friend wey dey do delivery, the guy dey run up and down like say na marathon. Chuka own slow pass him own.

Maybe he just tire, need rest, I tell myself.

I dey try give am benefit of doubt—maybe hangover from night session. But still, the thing no too gel.

So I wait with am till lunch—na that time orders dey plenty, riders dey hustle.

I dey expect say he go shine eye, pick two, three orders. But bros just relax, dey chop puff-puff for roadside.

But surprise, Chuka no take any order. Instead, he go chop for mama put, take him time.

He balance beans and dodo for plate, sprinkle small ata rodo, chop like man wey no get problem. I dey look the scene, dey reason if na coded business dem dey run.

After food, he return back, still dey play phone, no sign say he wan work.

Sun don high for sky, other riders dey sweat, but Chuka just dey chill. E shock me.

I swallow my doubt, still dey follow am till evening.

I dey beg my okada man make e no vex, say the matter dey important. The man just dey shake head, dey talk, "Lagos wahala, Oga."

The whole day, he only deliver food five times. Rest of the time, na phone he dey press.

Even me, I don tire to dey look. I dey count, dey jot for my phone. If na police investigation, I for don submit report.

When I reach house, I just slump for sofa, dey think about all the strange things wey Chuka dey do.

I dey stare ceiling, dey wonder if na new hustle this guy dey run. My head dey spin, my mind dey restless.

If na only few orders he dey do per day, how him wan take see fifty thousand naira for month?

No way the maths go balance. Even POS operators dey hustle pass this guy. I dey wonder if na Yahoo light version him dey do.

Fifty thousand naira no reach for house rent, not to talk of food.

For this Lagos, landlord no dey hear story. NEPA bill, water, DSTV, all dey choke.

Maybe today na just rest day. One day no fit show me anything.

I tell myself, "Calm down, no be today you go solve am."

So I decide to watch am more.

Next day, I ready groundnut and gala, set for window, dey observe again.

I tear my gala, wash am down with cold malt, the kind combo wey dey sweet pass for night vigil. For two more days, I observe. Nothing change—orders never reach ten per day.

Same pattern, same laziness. The thing dey suspect.

Wetin dey happen?

If no be jazz, then something dey hide. I dey shake head, dey reason all possible explanation.

Doubt don hook me.

For my mind, I dey do mental calculation. No way this guy dey pay for that apartment from food delivery.

No be small town we dey talk about—na city center. Their apartment, rent go reach one hundred and fifty thousand naira monthly.

Even my own house, landlord dey collect plenty. For their side, rent na for people wey dey collect real salary.

Morayo no be big earner—na just manicurist. Her salary maybe sixty, seventy thousand naira, enough for one person.

For salon, na tips dey boost their money. But no way Morayo dey earn pass 80k for month, except she get sugar daddy.

But she no dey live alone.

Everything na joint effort. But two small salary no fit carry that kind lifestyle.

And from all I see, dem dey live soft. Morayo dey buy new clothes, Chuka no dey manage himself—he even dey smoke Benson, wey be big man cigarette for Naija.

Benson and Hedges na luxury for most people. If I see Chuka dey smoke am, I dey nod my head—"Guy, you dey try o."

This kind lifestyle no fit run on just small money.

I dey think about all my own hustle, dey compare. My own self, I dey cut soap for myself, but dem dey live like Lagos big boys.

So where dem dey get money?

My doubt come deep, I even reason maybe dem be rich kids wey just wan play normal life.

I dey think, maybe dem papa get oil well for Bayelsa or dem mama be politician. You know as e be for Naija—some people dey run coded rich lifestyle.

I talk am for myself, then pick my telescope go window.

I dey adjust my telescope lens like say I dey look for comet. My eye dey sharp.

Time don reach for their night show again.

I dey ready gala and malt, set like man wey wan watch Champions League final.