My Roommate Almost Cut My Head / Chapter 1: The Watermelon Dream
My Roommate Almost Cut My Head

My Roommate Almost Cut My Head

Author: Brian Cook


Chapter 1: The Watermelon Dream

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My roommate dey sleepwalk for midnight. When she wake, we ask am wetin she dream.

She talk say she dream say she wan cut watermelon, but the watermelon never ripe.

All of us burst laugh.

Na so e be for we Naija girls hostel—gisting dey sweet when wahala never reach. Generator dey hum faintly outside, and the smell of indomie with pepper dey everywhere. Sometimes person go just talk one thing, and before you know am, laughter go fill everywhere, even Morayo wey dey form big madam go roll for bed.

But na so the next night, na shock we shock. I just dey sleep when I wake see my sleepwalking roommate stand for my bedside, kitchen knife for one hand, the other hand dey touch my head, she dey mumble:

"This time, the melon don ripe."

My heart nearly jump comot my chest that night. I no even remember say my mouth fit shout like that before. Even for village masquerade festival, I never shout reach this one. For the fear, I feel my legs dey heavy like yam.

My whole body just shake, I scream with all my power.

"Ahhhhhh!"

My voice loud pass mosque speaker for morning prayer.

My shout wake the other two for our hostel sharp-sharp.

Morayo wey dey up bunk on top me, her small rechargeable lamp just on, everywhere light up.

I see Halima stand for front of me, her eyes wide but e no dey see anything, one hand still dey my head, the kitchen knife for her other hand don already high for air.

"Chai!"

From down bunk, Efe move quick. Athletes no dey slack—she just jump reach Halima back, hold her two hands.

I come regain myself, carry the bottle of leftover water wey dey my bedside, splash am for Halima face without even think.

Halima body just shake, her empty eye come clear small.

As she realise say na kitchen knife dey her hand, fear catch her, she drop am for ground—gbam!

"Wh-what thing happen?"

My chest jam like eba wey no get soup—she no fit breathe.

Efe mutter under her breath, "Blood of Jesus!"

"Na me suppose ask you! You know wetin you dey do just now?"

Halima face don white like person wey see masquerade for afternoon, her voice dey shake.

"I...I just dream. I dream say I dey watermelon farm, dey pick watermelon. This time, I see the ripe one, wan cut am open..."

All of us face don lose colour.

For my mind, I dey wonder, how we go take sleep again after this kind palava? Even mosquito for the room no fit disturb pass this kind wahala. My palm dey sweat, and I dey look Efe wey still dey hold Halima as if she go try something again.

Halima dey always get sleepwalking wahala.

From semester start, when we first hear say she dey sleepwalk, e shock us small.

But later, we see say when she sleepwalk, she just dey stand for window dey look. Since we dey relate well during day, we no too fear again.

Sometimes we go even tease Halima about her sleepwalking, say she be 'witch' for joke. She go just laugh, call us 'oloriburuku', everybody go shout. Na so hostel life dey sweet, until wahala enter.

As we come dey close, we dey use joke take follow her sleepwalk matter, dey tease her about her dream.

Lately, anytime we ask, she go talk say she dream say she dey her grandpapa watermelon farm for village, like when she small.

She go say she wan pick big, sweet watermelon cut am chop, but e go always be say the thing never ripe.

We go always laugh her.

But now, laughter don disappear for our mouth.

The fear wey dey my body now no be small. No be the kind play wey person fit dey laugh put again. I dey remember say my mama always warn me, "If dream dey too real, abeg no sleep near person wey dey dream am." E be like say I suppose hear that advice.

Because if you think am well, the ripe watermelon wey she dey find for dream, na my head she dey touch just now.

I look the big kitchen knife for ground—na the one Efe dey use cut fruit for hostel.

That knife big and sharp well.

If I no wake that time, e fit be say Halima for don use am break my head like watermelon.

From that night, sleep no sweet me again. I dey count every breath till morning.

I dey imagine as my picture for obituary go look—'She was a good girl, until watermelon dream finish am.' The thing dey funny and scary at the same time.

Just the thought alone make sweat dey my body. I jump stand.

"Abeg, make we go meet hostel matron! I wan change room!"

Even Efe and Morayo no argue. We just dey shake like person wey see masquerade for bush at night.

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