Chapter 4: Rules, Rifts, and Kitchen Wahala

After eight for night, she come back from work.

Her face look tired, shoe dirty small, but she still stand straight like nothing dey happen.

She throw give me brand new portable hard drive.

Box still dey, price tag for side.

"This one get more space, e no go lost quick."

She talk am like say na compensation. E sweet me small, but I no let am show.

"Na space be the problem?" I throw am one side. "We need talk."

I no wan cause scene, but this one don too much. I just reason say we need set law.

Halima drop bag for her room, no even pull coat, sit down for sofa, arrange hair. "Talk."

Her posture sharp, hand fold. She dey ready for anything.

"I no go drag this flash matter, but make you know say e important. To argue now no make sense. From today, make we set ground rule for public and private space."

I try dey calm, make everywhere cool.

She nod.

Her nod no too deep, but at least she dey hear.

We gree: parlour, bafroom, kitchen—public.

She add small, "Balcony dey too, for when person wan take fresh air."

Rooms—private.

She adjust her head, say "No entry, no waka anyhow."

Balcony—her own private space, because she need dry all those ‘delicate’ things. My room dey face sun, I fit dry my own inside. Her room dey face shade, clothes no dey dry.

Na so we find agreement. Make wahala no too much.

For that, she gree pay water and NEPA bill.

I for no gree before, but as she talk am herself, I just accept. E go balance things.

After we set rules, she just run go her room, dey cry, "Wooo wooo."

Her cry loud o! Like all those Asaba film wey person dey lose money. I just stand for door, dey reason whether make I knock.

Her cry dey loud. I stand for her door, dey rub my nose, dey reason, [I no bully you o. Na you use water and light pass, I no even add extra.]

I dey feel somehow. No be like say I get heart for stone. But rules dey necessary.

Saturday.

Sun never rise finish, mosquito dey pursue me for dream, na so door burst. Sleep still dey my eye.

Bang—bedroom door burst. I jump up, see Halima face, she dey panic small.

She dey look like person wey just see cockroach for soup. I dey rub eye, dey try adjust.

"Aunty, next time, knock before you enter abeg."

I dey vex, but sleep still dey hold me.

"I knock."

She talk am, hand still dey door. I look door, I look her.

I look the dent for wall where doorknob jam, look her. "Even thief no dey knock like that."

That wall sef don suffer. Every time person dey bang, paint go dey peel.

"Why you no dey lock your door?"

She dey form inspector. I just dey wonder if she no see say lock no dey work.

"See this my door—e resemble door wey get lock?"

If I fit lock am, I for lock since. Na only God dey protect me for this house.

She wave hand, dey form big madam. "No wahala. I just wan borrow hanger. I forget buy after I wash."

She dey hurry, cloth still wet for hand. I no even fit vex again.

"Carry am yourself." I curl under cover. "I no even wear anything."

At least make she get small shame.

She smirk, then form serious. "Abi you dey do something naughty?"

Her eye shine, mouth bend. I just dey reason wetin she dey talk.

I no know why, but as tall guy like me, that her play talk make me blush.

Even my skin dey warm. I bone face, dey form hard guy.

She look my cartoon boxers, laugh, "Na Tom and Jerry you dey wear? No wonder you dey behave like pikin."

Oh, cartoon boxers. She take two hangers, mouth just dey twist. She dey try peep the cartoon face, dey laugh under her breath.

"Aunty, abeg, find new talk. You wan make I borrow you one?"

I dey form as if I no send, but small smile dey my face.

As she waka go, I hear her leg dey rush—she no even calm reach as she dey form.

Her wahala no dey finish. I just shake head, cover face with pillow.