Chapter 5: Life Lessons, Fire, and Friendship

Roommate life na wahala, adjustment dey.

Nobody dey teach you for secondary school say you go share bafroom with stranger. Na real life dey set exam.

I think say adjustment mean say both people go learn boundary.

For mind, na small thing—no touch my own, I no touch your own. But e no dey work like that.

But she no dey respect boundary. She sabi am, but she go just dey jump am anyhow.

No be say she wicked o, but her own stubbornness get style. Like say she dey test patience.

Like to enter my room without warning.

She fit just bounce in, dey find hair cream or charger. She no dey reason say person fit dey naked.

Or to use toilet while I dey brush—she go just waka in, half sleep, pull pant, sit down for WC.

This one happen three times. Every time, I dey try avoid eye contact.

If she see me, na scream wey fit break car alarm.

E shock me say person fit scream for own mistake. The third time, I just carry brush commot.

I no even understand wetin dey shock her. Na me suppose dey call vigilante!

Sometimes, I dey imagine say maybe na her house dem dey lock toilet. Or na village style.

She no sabi life skills at all.

She dey struggle with everything. Even kettle, she go ask me how e dey work.

She ask me why her clothes no dey clean like my own. Na so I find out say she no dey use detergent—she just dey throw cloth inside, dey hope say e go clean.

I laugh tire. I teach her how to use Omo, how to soak white cloth, how to rinse. Next week, her white shirt dey shine.

She insist say she wan cook, but she no sabi at all. Nearly burn house down.

That day, smoke just fill kitchen. Blood of Jesus! Na so smoke full kitchen, I rush go off stove. I rush enter, see rice dey catch for bottom. I just off stove.

Every time, I go dey complain, but at least she dey learn quick.

I teach her small, she dey watch me. At least, now she fit fry egg without burn am.

Second time she cook, she know say no pour water for oil fire. She come pour soap...

Soap everywhere! I just dey laugh. Kitchen come dey foam like disco. But e good say she dey try.